Sunday, April 25, 2010

Multitasking Breastfeeding

I've learned how to tandem feed the boys while laying down in bed! It's not easy to get them positioned, but once they are on and curled up in the nook of my arm with their little bodies splayed across mine, I slip a pillow under each of my elbows to "prop" them up (it takes the pressure off of my arms, but poses no suffocation threat whatsoever). Then, I get to truly relax and rest while feeding them in the morning.
Sometimes they just fall back asleep on the boob and we all just hang out in bed for hours napping.

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Saturday, April 24, 2010

Not Moving To the Burbs

For those of you living in a car city/town with infants/twin infants, I have no idea how you make it out if the house.
We are so ready to return the rental car, get on the plane and be back in a walking city.

What do you do when your baby is melting down in the backseat?
I spent over 80% of every car trip climbing from the front to the back and many times ultimately we pulled over to take a baby out, comfort him and sometimes resorting to a bit of comfort breast feeding.

Cars=not fun.

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Sunday, April 18, 2010


Looking at: the bay
Watching: dolphins
Drinking: Arnold Palmers
Eating: strawberries
Listening to: Bob Marley
Holding: babies
Loving: our blessed life

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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Babies Take Manhattan!

Not a bad place to stop and open the rooftop breastaurant.

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Friday, April 9, 2010

Questions Answered!

Nutella asked: What are the plans for Chicken to resume her work travel schedule? Will you be looking for new employment outside the home or staying home with the twins full time?
  • Chicken has been offered a new job in the company from--a twin mom of two boys who were also born exactly at 35 weeks and 5 days, same as us! Talk about working for someone who 'gets' your life! She worked with her on a project 2 years ago, they've stayed in contact and this position came up. It literally just fell in her lap. The best part? She'll be working from home. Absolutely ZERO travel! She starts in mid June and I will be a full time stay at home mom.
CindyHoo2 asked: Have you joined up with a local chapter of Parent of Twins and trips?
  • Yes! I'm a member of the Manhattan Mothers of Multiples club and it's been the best $40 membership fee I've paid for any club.
GiggleBlue asked: I was looking at the pictures and your labeling, and wondering, if i would remember who was who IRL. Did you ever have a problem with that, or do they just not look the same to you at all??
  • We've never had a problem with it. They look completely, totally, 100% different to us.
Nicole asked: have been reading your blog for awhile, but believe i am commenting for the first time. i want to know how you find the time to blog w/ 9 week old twins???? nevermind, the fact that you pack them up and actually GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, oh. my. god.

Alicia asked: Long time reader, first post! I was wondering what kind of work you and Chicken do!
  • I don't work anymore. I was laid off before I got pregnant and do not intend to go back to work for a couple of years. Chicken works for a management consulting firm.
tbean asked: How is the induced lactation going? And what is this about a possible ttc for a third child?
  • Chicken just got her drugs in the mail this past week--Domperidone, which you can't get in the good old USA. We had to order them from New Zealand. She'd started pumping about 2 weeks prior and putting Grunter to the breast when he was done on me. These 3 things can supposedly bring in your milk. It will take about 4-6 weeks now that we have the drugs. We'll see what happens!
  • Yes, we are thinking we'd like to do this again. Maybe. Not anytime soon. But just today Chicken declared we needed another one and that she guessed she could get pregnant. I would have NEVER predicted her to say either of those things even a year ago! If we do it, we'll go straight to IVF and only transfer one egg. If it works, it works. We love our twins, but we'd really love just one more. Plus, one would seem SO EASY after two!
motherwilling asked: Where are you going?
  • We're going to the Sunshine State to meet a bunch of old ladies. Both of Chicken's grandmothers, plus a few other family members live in Florida. We'll be going to the east coast for a few days, then driving to the west coast and staying there for a week. Her father has a condo on the water and we figured there wasn't much difference in hanging out here vs hanging out there and there has a balcony where you can watch the dolphins jumping around. We're looking forward to that.
  • I put off my D&C because I'm not giving up pools and beaches.
  • It will be a trip of many firsts for the boys, first plane ride, first time on the beach. We are prepared to keep them completely out of the sun. We bought a big cabana tent and big sun hats for them. The tent is so big I can even breast feed inside it and no one will know!
  • We're hoping it's a huge success because next month...we're going to need baby passports!

D & C Update

We're traveling next week and I postponed the D & C until after we get back.
I'll be going in on April 30 now. I've waited this long. I think I'll be OK waiting a bit longer.


I seem to get quite a few questions in my comments and I haven't been the best at answering them.

In an honest attempt to achieve this, I'd like you to post your questions in the comments section.
It can be about twins, life in the city, travel, IVF, whatever.
I'll do my best to answer it.

Ask away!

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Brand New Day

Thanks for being there, peeps. Sorry my last post was such a bitch session, but sometimes life just sucks and yesterday was one of those days for sure.
What a difference a day makes.

Have I mentioned that Chicken is Super Mom? She is.
Last night, seeing that I was reaching (had reached?) my breaking point, she offered to give the boys bottles of expressed breast milk for the middle of the night feeding--letting me sleep uninterrupted on the couch far away from baby wrangling and noise. That means I got almost 6 hours of sleep!!! Makes you feel like a whole new person.

The boys also turned a new page and Whoop Whoop stopped being such a stinker, slept for almost FIVE hours straight (this has never happened before!) followed by a FOUR hour stretch and two three hours. I think we might be entering a new phase.
Up until now we have been on a every 2.5-3 hour schedule round the clock.
Grunter also did an amazing 5.5 hour stretch in between feedings this morning shocking us all.

Being so well rested and the boys behaving, I was able to take over the morning slot and gave Chicken a nice 4.5 hour nap.
We were both like new mommies today with some much needed rest.

My new strategy to combat the (sometimes) nightmare that has become tandem breast feeding, is to try to feed them one-on-one as much as I can during the day. Yes, it takes more time, but this is my full time job, so I might as well give it a shot and see if it gets any better.
Days like yesterday make me want to throw in the towel and start scooping formula, but as I have heard many twin moms say "You don't take breast feeding twins one day at a time, you take it one feeding at a time." True, that.

The boys like it much better, especially Mr. Fussy Feeder W2. It doesn't stress me out so much and is truly a bonding experience.
The feeding was (is?) becoming something that was bringing me to tears and causing me great anxiety. What if W2 is too worked up and doesn't latch? What if he latches but then comes off? How long will it take me to get him back on again? He pops on and off many times during a feed and each time I tense up never knowing how it's going to end. I have to hold the back of his head in an (almost) vice grip to ensure he just stays on. Relaxing, bonding moment? Not so much. It just is another survival technique.
He has a new trick that he's found just in the last 3 days that involves slurping up my tata when he comes off. I'm sure an LC would disapprove, but it works! And I'm down for anything that works at this point. Because before the slurp attack? NOTHING worked.

After the lunchtime feed today, we gave them some time to wind down and then went out for a late lunch of sushi. Everyday we try different things with them. One day it's getting salads and eating in the park. Another it's eating al fresco at the cute French cafe. Today, it was quite hot and we went inside the Japanese restaurant wearing one and pushing the other in the Snap and Go. That was a great combination. We certainly feel like we have a life when we can just get out and do something normal. It makes a huge difference.

Now I'm just pumping, they are napping and this evening when it cools off a bit more, we're going to go out for ice cream before bedtime. Or maybe ice cream is dinner. Yes, I think that sounds like a fine idea.

Here's something funny: my mom sent a box of cute baby clothes that arrived today. She put in some gifts for us as well. You know what they were? Thongs. One for each of us. Hysterical.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

D & C

I cannot fucking believe that I've had to go through so much trauma with this pregnancy only to have to schedule my own D & C 11 weeks after giving birth.
The clot will 'probably' not bleed out on its own. It might. But it might not. And if it doesn't, then it will surely get infected. Not a risk I can take.

They could give me drugs, but then I can't breastfeed my boys so it would be days and days of pumping and dumping with them getting bottles of formula the entire time.
Given the difficulties I've had with breastfeeding in general, plus the helluva time I've had with Whoop Whoop, who is perhaps the fussiest feeder of all times, I'm not ok with the possibility of going backwards in terms of progress.

So, a D & C it is. You know, the same procedure for a miscarriage or an abortion. I never had to have a D & C with my miscarriage but I have to have one now. UnFuckingBelievable.

I know some people absolutely loved being pregnant and can't wait to experience that feeling again. But for the record, I am not one of them.
I handled the twin pregnancy very well even when they found my cervix shortening and I was told to take it really easy. I scaled back and did what I was told.
And then I developed Pre Eclampsia symptoms around Christmas, 31 weeks, and was hospitalized. Even that wasn't too bad. But after watching my blood pressure rise and my vision deteriorate and the pre e going full blown with a dose of HELLP was just too much.

I've never even written my birth story but trust me, it sucked. I was fortunate enough to have both twins head down, but had to skip the natural birth for a last minute C-Section.
And then the recovery from the C-Section....where I developed anemia from so much blood loss and my blood pressure skyrocketed again and I was almost hospitalized 2 days after coming home. Let's not forget the part where I couldn't poop for a week. That was all really fun.

And now, I've been bleeding for 11 weeks. I fear I'm also leaking some urine, but I don't know for sure. What I do know is that after all of this, I have to go get a D & C.
I never thought that would be possible. I never dreamt this scenario.

It's been a very trying day today. Both twins are inconsolable and have been most of last night as well. We are functioning on very little sleep and just trying to survive. I didn't need this today. These boys complete us, but my god this is the hardest thing we have ever done. It is 24 hours, non-stop work and sometimes we just feel like we might crack. We don't. But we really need a break. Today was not that break.

We've got 2 vials of our donor left. If we use them--and yes, we have already talked about the possibility of having another child even in the midst of twin newborn insanity--it won't be me getting knocked up this time. I'm done. Done.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Photo Friday--Look How Big We Are! Week 9 and 10

The boys are very focused on what Mommy has to say!
A smiling Grunter while Whoop Whoop resembles the village idiot! What a face!
Peaceful Sleeping Baby Boys
It took them 8 weeks to get interested in their bouncy chairs!
Hanging out on the bed
Grunter with his hand in Whoop Whoop's face, fast asleep in the stroller
Grunter discovers his mobile for the first time

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Gimme some sugar, dollface

I've been tagged a few times, so I'll try to think of 10 interesting things to tell you.

1. I haven't shaved my legs since November. I could still reach them but it wasn't comfortable and I just didn't care anymore.
After I gave birth I realized how many razors it would take. I'm cheap and razors are expensive. Then, I thought I should get the clippers out instead. But it hasn't seemed a priority so the hair continues to grow.
I think I'll go get them waxed soon if I have the time (ha ha).

2. My wife is on the couch next to me pumping. Yes. More on that later...but wait, that's not about me. I'm keen to share breastfeeding with my wife if possible. Who doesn't want two sets of magic titty in the house?

3. We have been practicing our Spanish in anticipation of an upcoming trip to a country we've never been to. Baby passports are needed.

4. It took me 10 years to finish my undergrad degree. I put myself through college and figured if I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I shouldn't spend the money. It was a lot of stop and start involving 5 different colleges/universities, the states of Missouri and Texas and the country of France.
Thank god we don't have to put our age on our resumes in the US (unlike France) and I look young so it never hurt me in the workplace. I've felt the need to stay quiet about my true age in every job in order to 'blend in' with my peers. It worked for the last 12 years until my latest boss had to lay me off and discovered we were the same age. Shocker.

5. My butt eats underwear. From the time since I was a tween, underwear have been crawling up my butt. It became a no brainer early on, that it was far more pleasant to have a small piece of underwear up my butt than an entire hunk of fabric that constantly gave me a wedgie. So for me, thongs are a necessity. No panty lines? Bonus!
I even got Chicken to wear them and she agrees they are better. She wasn't even aware her butt ate underwear, too.

6. I learned a trick backpacking on how to always have clean clothes: at night you toss what you are wearing in the shower (or the bucket as many places I've stayed don't even have a shower) and you wash them and yourself, letting your laundry dry overnight.
If you are moving around a lot, you just wash your undies (and thongs dry fast!) guaranteeing you'll always have fresh skivvies.
I like this system so well, I even do it at home and always have a drawer full of clean panties even if the laundry is full.

7. When I was 5 years old, I saw "The Sound of Music" for the 1st time. After a lot of begging, My mom got the album from the library for me and I carried it around with me everywhere. There was a fabulous color photo booklet inside the cover that I would study as if going to be tested.
Every night I would play the entire album from start to finish. I really wanted to be Catholic so I could have a life like the Von Trapp children. I went around speaking in a British accent like Julie Andrews. I was a strange child but I credit this fascination with keeping me accent free despite my entire family sounding like they grew up in the sticks.
To this day, it is still my favorite movie and I can sing the entire album from memory including all of the character voices.
I no longer wish to be Catholic.

8. I've lived in more than 30 different residences, none of them a place we owned, except an old farmhouse, from birth to age 2. It's been rentals ever since. I've no idea what it's like to put down roots.
The apartment we live in now is the longest Ive ever spent in one place(5.5 yrs) in my entire life.

9. I've had more girlfriends than residences. We'll just leave it at that. I was very, very busy with the dating game in my 20's. When I hear how many of you are with the first woman you ever dated, I'm in shock.

10. When I think about buying a place and "settling" down, I feel a little bit like I'm being squeezed by a boa constrictor.
On the other hand, I'd like Grunter and W2 to have a more stability than I had when it comes to a home.

**BONUS** I can "wave" my right pinky toe. Apparently I do it a lot without even noticing and it freaks Chicken out.

Riveting stuff I'm made of folks.

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Mystery Solved

I woke up yesterday tired of (still) bleeding. After calling the OB/GYN's office and letting them know, hi, it's been 10 weeks of bleeding, what the fuck people? They immediately decided I should come in that day.
Chicken was in no position to take on 2 babies, so I strapped happy-go-lucky Grunter to me and off we went on the subway.
As usual, it was a horribly long wait, but Grunter was an angel.

Have you ever had a vaginal exam laying down with a baby strapped to your chest in a Moby Wrap? No, I didn't think so and the office staff hadn't experienced that either. I agree it was 'unusual' but I knew he'd be happier there than in a stroller and I hate getting in and out of taxis with the car seat and then dealing with the stroller assembly afterwards on a busy NYC sidewalk.
Babywearing rules.

At the 6 week post C-section appointment, they did a vag exam and I wanted to bite the Doctor and scream at him. It hurt that bad. This time, the midwife wielded the speculum and while she was far more gentle it still hurt like a mo-fo. After that, she decided she needed to do a cervical check with her hand. More things inside me I don't want there! You don't want to hear your midwife say "interesting" as she's probing around either.

Seriously, I have no idea how anyone gets pregnant in the months after birth because (a) no one except a doctor is getting anything near my vagina that could penetrate it and (b) who has time?? Chicken and I would rather sleep.

After this torture session I was sent out to the waiting room again because they needed to do an ultrasound on me. In the meantime Grunter had slept through his feeding, so I'm trying to breastfeed him in the waiting room so he doesn't melt down at an inopportune time.
I really need to practice this at home, because I am a big nipple flasher and while it doesn't really bother me, I can appreciate it might make others uncomfortable. Is there a YouTube video for this? A class?

They finally got me squeezed in for an ultrasound, but there's a new problem. The Baby. They found someone to hold my precious cargo and I had to endure yet another foreign object being shoved inside it.
And there it was.
A one inch clot.
Right outside my uterus, hanging out in my cervix and slowly but surely shedding itself.

Now we have two options:
Keep doing what I'm doing. Let it bleed itself out. BUT, I could develop an infection which would then put me in a lot of pain and require antibiotics.
OR have yet another doctor's appointment with long waiting room times where another foreign object is inserted and they suck it all out of me.
I really would do just about anything to avoid having another internal, so I might just let it bleed.

I know one thing. I'm not taking a baby with me next time. Four hours (yes, that's how long I was there) of baby wearing and doctor probing is too much.