Sunday, June 27, 2010

Ghetto Span.x, Solids are Yummy and Hot Pride

Wonder what kind of hits I'll get with that title?

We had a really busy weekend. First off was the wedding on Friday night, our first 'real' night out since the boys were born.
Yeah, Nana watched them twice when we rushed to dinner in Buenos Aires, but it wasn't the same, because Nana was driven to drink and had them watching TV all night (don't even get me started because we told them they weren't allowed...) and could never get them to sleep (gee, I wonder why...I'm sure the TV didn't stimulate them or anything!). These are not children who need extra stimulation!

Where was I? Right! We have someone we can trust now and besides, we did the hard part--getting them to sleep. All she had to do was watch TV all night and be there if something goes wrong. Our Nanny needs a blog name and I'm tempted to call her "Hot Nanny" but if I do that I'll slip IRL one of these days and that would be embarrassing.
She reminds me of a butterfly, so I'm going to call her Mariposa and shorten that to Mari.

I had this dress all picked out to wear and at the last minute decided on another little black dress. However, upon further full-length mirror inspection, I discovered that while things are 'fitting' other er, things are not quite up to par with where I left them pre-preggo. What's a girl to do? That's what span.x are for! But I don't have any and the wedding is that day and I don't have time to go shopping and besides I'm not spending $40+ on some fancy underwear for ONE night. So, (and Next in Line, you're gonna love this one....) I dug out a pair of old panty hose from Chicken's drawer (go figure) and cut the hose part off leaving me with something resembling a very thin pair of bike shorts.
They were PERFECT! Held my tummy in and my ass up! Nice and they were free!! And that's how Ghetto Span.x were born.
However, what I found out is that the size of my new 'girls' got a whole lot of attention and I found out what's it's like to be chest-talked to. Interesting.

I only texted Mari once from the wedding, so I'd have to say all in all a good night of not freaking out that you have left your kids with an (almost) total stranger.
We had a great night out and it was so refreshing to be around all of our friends who weren't over at our house while I baby wrangle and breast feed and pump AND try to catch up.
The wedding was gorgeous, the 21st floor of a penthouse with all glass windows and a wrap around deck. It was a beautiful breezy night and our friends getting married were absolutely lovely. Fantastic.
We decided the boys are ready for solids, so on Saturday morning we started out with rice cereal mixed with breast milk. It seemed like the bum.bo seats would be a good place to feed them, but um, not so much. They are still not sitting up well and often end up slumping right away. I think it was all too much!
It started off well enough...
What the hell is this stuff??
I no likey! I no likey! Stop torturing me!

That night we tried it again in their bouncy seats and it went much, much better! We'll keep at this for a few more days and then maybe try a fruit or veg. By the next day, they were grabbing at the spoon and opening their mouths so they really seemed to get what was going on. It's so cute, but so messy!!
Take Two. Next time in the bouncy seats...going much better!
Hey! I do like this stuff! Yummy!

Gimme Gimme!

Sunday was Gay Pride here in the Big Apple and we had plans to meet these fine ladies and their twins. It was HOT and while we wilted on a street corner and our babies got fussier and hotter, I happened to turn around and spied....a bank. A bank with all glass windows with the same damn view we had outside! So in we went and wow was that the best idea EVER. We had A/C and a place to sit, breast feed, change diapers, you name it. I don't think any of us would've lasted much longer outside and it was so much fun to catch up with our friends and their daughters.
Grunter. I just can't stop kissing these kids.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I've got a post detailing our sleep training coming, but I wanted to give it a week first, so I'll post it in a couple of days. But it's going...very well. And I feel so much better hearing everyone's supportive comments.
Now, I'm off to bed!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Because Sometimes...

Rainbows and Unicorns ARE shooting out of my ass.



We're all ready for Gay Pride!


Whoop Whoop. When he's good, he's very very good.


Arms full of boys.


This foot looks like a great chew toy.


Apr├Ęs leche hand gnawing is always on the menu these days.


Ready for the subway


Let the thumb sucking begin.


Squeeky Poof is all smiles.


Whoop Whoop is rarely still.


Yo Mami, s'up?

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So Much To Say

Phew. It's been awhile, hasn't it?
There is so much going on and it's been incredibly busy. I've had 4 or 5 posts that I've meant to sit down and write, but I just haven't found the time.

I'd love to tell you that life with these two wonderful babies is all rainbows and unicorns shooting out of my ass, but then I wouldn't be being honest with you, now would I? And as much as my blog scares you, I know you like the honesty.

Bullets it is.

  • The boys turned 5 months old this week! How did that happen? How are we still alive??
  • They are doing new things almost everyday and it's so much fun to watch them grow and thrive.
  • I always mean to write on of those "Dear Sons" every month and I just never find the time. I know I'm going to regret that. It sucks.
  • We braved the NYC subway with a double stroller and twins. It took us a 10 minute walk to the subway station with elevators, 2 elevators, 1 crosstown subway, 2 more elevators, 1 uptown subway, 2 more elevators and then a 15 minute walk up Central Park West to the park location. Our local twins club was holding their summer twins picnic and it was a lot of fun to meet all the other twin families. It did make us feel inadequate about the size of our boys when we saw other 5 month old twins and we were envious of all the fancy new strollers, but that's life. Our boys are growing and our $800 stroller was bought used for $100. Everyone is growing just fine and we are $700 richer.
  • We decided to walk home 3.5 miles rather than go through mass transit again. We are not going to Central Park until the boys can walk on their own! There are plenty of parks downtown within nice walking distance and you'll find us frequenting those for the next two years!
  • I've already started selling so much of our baby crap and clothes. Made myself a nice profit so far of almost $200. Loving that. And loving the free space to make room for a new stage of baby crap!
  • Chicken started back to work and her first assignment was in Chicago! Yes, her new 'non-traveling' job. I had my first all alone all-nighter and let me tell you it was hell. We all survived but I'm not really sure how.
  • We thought by now it would be getting easier and it is...sort of.
  • The boys are elusive sleepers. Getting them to sleep is taking up half of our day and hours of our nights.
  • Naps are HELL.
  • Getting them down for a nap takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes. When we do get them down they cat nap. Every once in awhile they will give us an hour stretch, but it's rare. Doing this 3-4 times a day takes up a lot of your energy.
  • Because getting them down is so difficult, it means it's harder than ever for me to pump. As we've increased their intake, the pressure for me to make 2 bottles a day is huge and if I don't get all of the pumping in, I can't keep up. The milk pills are really helping, thank god. But there are times, I have to miss pumping because baby wrangling is never ending.
  • We still have had exactly (3) times they have slept in a five hour stretch during the night.
  • That means for the last 5 months we have been operating in serious sleep deprivation mode.
  • The good news is that from about 3 months on, once they are down for the night there is minimal fussing whereas we used to be up every couple of hours dealing with the fuss for well over an hour. This really helps.
  • Until this past week. When the middle of the night fussing began and caused me to want to kill myself. No reverting! Cannot revert!
  • We have tried every method out there to get them to sleep. None of these kind and gentle baby-to-sleep methods are working on our kids.
  • Sleep Begets Sleep
  • If you know this phrase you are dealing with a sleep issue yourself.
  • If you do not know this phrase or who Weissbluth or what Ferberizing is....well, you will have no idea what my life is really like! Unless you have dealt with a baby who simply Will.NOT.Go.To. Sleep, then it will be hard to relate.
  • We started sleep training this week. I've thought about whether or not to post those details because sleep training is a hot button topic in this community with a lot of "I would NEVER to that". I used to think the same thing. But rest assured, we have tried it ALL and at this point if something doesn't change and fast, our little family could fall apart. If mommies can't get some sleep and babies can't get some sleep we are all deprived and functioning at a sub par level. This isn't good for anyone.
  • Chicken has enormous pressure on her now to do well at this new job. She realized she won't get any work done working from home, so is working from a study near our apartment. We have been bickering quite a bit lately and we both know it's all due to lack of sleep and the feeling that nothing is ever going to change. So, with great sadness, we resorted to the last known sleep method we both swore we'd "Never" do.
  • Interesting, most twin moms I know have ended up doing sleep training as well. I think when you are dealing with two babies at the same time, the game is totally changed.
  • It's only been 3 nights, but it's working.
  • Naps....not so much. But bedtime? Yes!
  • We hired a nanny for the summer. We could either get a two bedroom apartment or a nanny. I feel like such a wuss admitting that, but with the napping issue I just can't do this by myself. Cannot Cannot Cannot.
  • She's young but with 10 years experience. We have a great deal in common and um....she's Latina and pretty damn easy on the eyes. Plus, I'm learning some more Spanish. And she lives across the street and has lots of twin experience. We scored. Chicken keeps asking me if I'm going to pull a Jude Law. I am not. She loves the boys and is SO good with them, but even with all her experience, she cannot handle the two of them alone getting them to sleep.
  • Believe me when I tell you these boys are so hard. Even in Argentina their Nana admitted she'd never been around babies like this. The nanny said the same thing. WTH?? I really think once we have these sleep issues sorted out life is going to change dramatically.
  • We are going out for the first time tonight. We have a wedding to go to and I have dreaded it...because I had no idea what to wear and I don't have any time to go shopping. So with great trepidation I tried on my collection of little black dresses and....they all fit!! Somehow, 5 months post birthing twins, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy size. It feels great!
  • My feet on the other hand, weren't so lucky and I had to make a call for back up shoe support. My friend Fab C, who is ALWAYS there for me, showed up with 2 pairs of shoes and a Guinness. Nice. Now I'm all set to get dressed up for the first time in well over a year!
  • Our CSA farm share started 3 weeks ago. Yum! Fresh, organic produce! Hard to find the time to figure out what to do with it all, but we are managing. Would hate for it to go to waste.
  • OK that's all I can think of now...I am going to post the sleep issues in a separate post because who knows, maybe there is someone else at the end of their rope and they are considering sleep training as well. If you hate me because of it, that's life. But unless you have twins and have had 4 hours of sleep a night for 5 months and spend up to 5 hours of your day just TRYING to get your baby/babies to sleep.....please hold judgement.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Let Me Eat Cake

Thanks for all of the positive feedback on my last post. I have come to grips with it.
What is so surprising is how positively powerless I felt. When we came home from the hospital, I really believed we'd have to supplement with formula even though I really wanted to try breast feeding.
But after the first week and working with the world's most amazing lactation consultant, I came to believe that YES, I CAN DO THIS! I can feed these babies with my own body and it became my ultimate quest. To have that taken away...it stripped me of my power.

Last night I went to pump and found that the pump hadn't been plugged in and wasn't charged. This has never happened before and I was stumped what I could do for the next 20-25 minutes while plugged in. I'm used to pumping and being mobile. The only outlet by the sofa has the A/C plugged in and if I unplugged that, I'd just be sitting in a hot living room.

So, I did the only logical thing I could think of. I took one look at the very ripe bananas sitting in the basket on the counter beside the breast pump (your breast pump is on your kitchen counter, right? And your bustier hands free bra? No? If not, do tell me where you keep such items, I'm curious to know because before I came home with these babies, I could not have dreamed a bra would become part of my kitchen counter items) and decided to bake a banana cake.
It was 7:30, the kids were in bed (Kids! We have Kids! It's still crazy to me) and I had to do something while pumping.
I have been baking this cake since I was in middle school and it's still one of my favorites. It rarely makes it from the pan to a plate as I very much like to stand over the cake pan and just cut long, skinny slices--all the way across the row--and eat it straight from the pan over the kitchen counter. I lick the knife off and do it all over again. Tiny row by tiny row. Then I drink a glass of ice cold milk. Sometimes straight from the jug. I have done it this way for as long as I can remember. I do not eat any other cake this way. I have no idea why.

Oh and ladies, don't bend over to get that bowl from the bottom shelf while pumping. Never, ever bend over while pumping or else the milk will spill out and all that precious, liquid gold will run down your legs and into your slippers and make you want to cry. Always, always squat.

Here's the recipe, straight from my grandma:

Banana Crush Cake

1 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, very soft or slightly melted
2 eggs, separated with the whites added last
3 ripe bananas, crushed
1 1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sour milk (milk with 2 Tablespoons white vinegar added to it)

Cream butter and sugar together. Add egg yolks then crushed bananas. Beat well.
Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt together.
Add to first mixture alternately with sour milk.
In separate bowl, beat egg whites until stiff.
Add to cake batter.
Stir.
Pour into lightly greased cake pan.
Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes or until knife in center is clean.

You can also add a frosting to this cake (melted butter, milk and powdered sugar) and/or nuts.
I prefer it plain.

To the anonymous commenter who asked if I was eating/drinking enough. I assure you that I am. I have eaten almost 1/2 of this cake in less than 24 hours. I have never been so hungry in my entire life. I eat around the clock--and not just salads!
In Argentina, I had filet mignon every stinking day. Because it's the beef capital of the world and it's $10 and grass fed and incredibly delicious and so, why wouldn't you? After that, we'd go for ice cream, because you should know Argentinians are all about their ice cream. What I didn't know was that it was the country of pastries. We had pastries every morning without fail. The most delicious pastries I've ever had. They put the French pastries to shame.
I have no idea how many calories I consume. I never have counted calories and I'm not starting now. I'm hungry, I eat. I want it, I eat it.
Chicken is great about always making and bringing me food all day long.

In fact, I eat a lot of snacks while I'm tandem breast feeding. That's the great thing about the EZ 2 Nurse Twin Breast Feeding pillow, you can be hands free while feeding your babies. I can eat a meal, blog on my iPhone, take photos and videos, file baby nails, pet the cat, make a phone call, pay bills, read the NYTimes, read a book/magazine, catch up on blogs and plan a vacation ALL while breast feeding twins. That pillow rocks.
If you are expecting twins, get this pillow. And an iPhone.
Thank me later.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The F Word

Our boys are small. I know *logically* that they are twins and they were born a month early and they are breast fed, on demand, from the boob, not bottle expressed breast milk. And so I know that all of these things are going to lead to a smaller baby. I know that.

But it's hard to see all of these chubby 4 month olds and realize just how behind your baby is in the weight department. At their last check up they were in the 3-5% for weight. Ouch.

Now, since learning this I've also done some research and found out that our current scale is being revamped to show today's true standards.
Did you know the current evaluation scale is based on a study that was done in the 1970's on a very small sampling of middle-class, white, Midwestern, formula fed babies? Not a single breast fed baby in that study.
And yet, that is what our babies are measured against. Then there's that childhood obesity epidemic that has been steadily climbing in the past 3 decades.....
So my babies probably are higher if there was a breast fed baby scale to go by. But there's not.

I'm not a doctor and I trust my doctor when he says the boys are fine. Very small, but developmentally fine. But, no one is urging me to drop a feeding or anything like that, trust me.
And so, for 4.5 months now, I feed them. Every 3 hours, 24 hours a day. Sometimes 2.5 hours. It is exhausting. I am sleep deprived beyond belief. I am fragile. I am forgetful. I feel more and more overwhelmed and out of control. It is not good this constant state of fatigue. Not good is an understatement.
I want them to weigh more. I want people to stop asking me if they are newborns or 2 months old or remark on how small they are. I want to stop explaining that they are twins and yes, I know they are small and they will be OK.

Up until Argentina we had only supplemented with formula very few times. It was mostly an emergency backup for when we were out and they were both hungry at the same time. But on vacation...well, we used a lot more of it that we ever have before. We had to. There were too many times I simply could not pump. There were two 11 hour international plane rides. And there were 3 domestic plane rides. There were taxis caught in traffic and car rides through mountains and restaurants we would've been at all day if I'd fed them both and, and, and.
And they gained weight.
Not that they weren't gaining weight before. They were. Slowly. As a lot of breast fed babies do. But they really got a bit chubbier in those 3 weeks with some formula supplementation.

And so I made a hard decision. Once we got back home, I decided to keep giving them some formula. We do one dream feed around 10pm every night and it's a formula bottle. We also do one bottle right before they go to bed around 6:30pm and that has become an expressed breast milk bottle.
I'm hoping that (1) they get more calories this way. I know they are. (2) the formula helps stretch their sleep a bit more and I can sleep a bit more. I know this is working because last night--for the first time ever, the twins slept for 5 hours after the formula dream feed and I got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
The only other time this has happened is when Chicken has given me a 'bottle night' as we call it.

I wrestle with my emotions over this. I never, never in a million years thought I would be so attached to the idea of exclusively breast feeding. Especially not with twins. I think it's almost become my badge of honor. Like, well, I couldn't have my own kids and my body fucked up my pregnancy and my boys came too early and I had to have a C-section and now this. Now, I couldn't even make it six months with breast feeding without giving in to formula. I can't trust my body is capable of feeding them. Even with taking the milk drugs.
Right now, the milk drugs are helping my supply and getting them more bottles which I could have never done before. And that is so nice.
But I have to be honest. I need two things desperately right now. Sleep, and my babies to gain more weight. If a little formula is going to accomplish both of these, then that's what I'm going to give them. I hate it. But that's how it is.
And that, my friends, is my story of my battle with the F word.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Get Your ThaiDom Milk On

OK, so many of you contacted me about where to get the milk drugs, that I'm just going to go ahead and post it here. It's not illegal and it's not anything you can't find on the internet just like I did, but I'm going to save you the time and energy.
Go to click remedy dot com (no spaces obviously).
Do a search for Domperidone. This drug is also called Motilium. Select your quantity.
The suggested dosage is (3) 10 mg tabs, 3xday. So add up 9 pills a day x the days you need to get your total amount.
Fill out the form.
You will get an (g) email response by a Thai man (Sasito.rn) and also a PayPa.l request.
Email the Thai guy back to confirm and then the order to pay will be sent.
Pay through PayPa.l
He will ship it out the next day and it comes via airmail within 7-10 days. So, about 2 weeks maximum.
IF you need it quickly, there is a surcharge of $30-$40 depending on the amount you order. Otherwise, the shipping charge is included in the total, no hidden fees.
When you receive it, there will be a nice gift wrapped package inside the envelope. It's very cute to open it like a present with pretty paper:)

And there you have it. Easy as can be.

I hope it works for you. It has almost doubled my milk supply--but I have to keep up with the pumping. This pill isn't complete magic and it doesn't have the same results for everyone. Chicken still takes it and she can fluff, but she can't do a full feed.
Good Luck!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Not About Me Anymore

Thanks for the birthday wishes. For the record it totally sucked. Chicken only remembered because the day before I'd reminded her it was our anniversary and she knows my birthday comes after that. So it was the "I didn't forget the date, I just forgot today was that date." Creative, that Chicken of mine.
There was no card, no gift, no cake, no nothing.
It's OK. I'm a twin mom now. It's not about me anymore as I have learned from Mother's Day, Wedding Anniversary and now Birthday. But, I'll admit, it's a bit hard to get used to.

It was hot that day and we never even left the house because the boys don't do well in 90 degree weather yet. They can't wear sunscreen and even though they've got darker skin tones, we'd just like to keep them out of the sun as much as possible for now. Plus, they get cranky.

We were supposed to go upstate (4 hours north) for the funeral weekend of gay dad #2. First we bowed out of the cocktail party in his honor for Saturday night, thinking we'd go up on Sunday for the memorial service at the museum (he was an artist). Then, as the day went on Saturday, we knew we couldn't pack up ourselves and these boys after being home barely 24 hours and get on the road again.
Not to mention that everytime we rent a car, it's $100 a day and a lot of work to go get the car, pack it up curbside, bring everything and everyone down and get off this damn crowded island. By the time you make it to the bridge, you've already got 2 hours under your belt and you've probably driven 7 or 8 miles max and NOW you have another 4 hours ahead of you. Not easy and very expensive.

The other option that we've considered for the future is Amtrak. But it's also very expensive, doesn't go to the city we need to arrive in and requires that someone drive a roundtrip of 2 hours to get us. Oh, and there's no reserved seats. If you've ever been to Penn Station when they've called out the track for your train and seen the mad crush of people surging....pfew. With babies as well? I get exhausted just thinking about it. Also, since the only train that would've gotten us up there on time left at 8:15am...ouch. We couldn't quite stomach that either.

All of the options just felt like they were too much. The boys are great little travelers, but the last days of the vacation were car travel, followed by an overnight flight. We just couldn't start traveling again. It was too much for all of us. So, we sent our regrets and hoped that everyone understood that our boys come first now.
Chicken really wanted to go and I just had to put my foot down for what was best for my family. As the weekend went on, she knew it was the right thing, but it still made things stressful and tense around here. I really hope her family understood and isn't thinking I just wanted to stay home because it was my birthday. It had nothing to do with that. Trust me. It was such a non-birthday.

Everyone keeps asking when we are going to come up and see them. I don't want to come up and see them. They have cars. They are retired. I want them to come see us. I don't want to spend upwards of $400 for a long weekend and spend a bazillion hours in a car when they can come see us. Is that selfish? I don't think it is. It's totally not about me. It's about these boys and our family and our finances (I'd much rather budget out that money for their college trusts or um, travel).

Right now, we need to get them on a firm routine and practice good sleep habits. That can't happen if we keep moving them around. The trip to Argentina was great and it was exactly at the right time, but more travel for now, is nixed. Our next trip isn't planned until late August. Until then, I am fine with staying home. I hope the family gets it and comes to us.

Oh! The boys gave me the best birthday present EVER! They both slept through the night for the first time--almost 5.5 hours straight! It was awesome and I felt so rested on my birthday even if I never had time to take a shower! Of course, they didn't repeat it the night after....but we're getting there. Thanks boys!

PS--Chicken finally got to shave her other leg. Just in case you were wondering.

Next up: Our Experiences with Sleep Training

Monday, June 7, 2010

Chicken is My *Fluffer*

**This was written about a month ago**

Well folks, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Drugs are good.
I've done drugs before I got pregnant and drugs to get me pregnant and drugs while I was pregnant and drugs after being pregnant. They were all, mostly, good.
And now....drugs off the internet. Yes, the 'get your milk on' drugs from New Zealand, are indeed getting Chicken's milk on.
In fact, it worked really fast.
We should've written it all down but we didn't. From what we remember it went like this:

Pumped for about 20 minutes 4-6 times a day for 2-3 weeks
Week three started taking Domperidone three 10 mg tabs, 3 x day, continue to pump as much as humanly possible, including in the middle of the night PLUS put the baby to the breast as much as possible when baby is full
Week four, all of the above=droplets of milk!!
Week five, all of the above and now seeing collected milk in the containers after pumping.

Basically, she had only been taking the drugs for a little over a week when the milk started.
Now, it was mere droplets, but everyday it gets better and better and just the last couple of days it has been enough to start collecting when she pumps where before it was just on the phalanges.
But the best part? As most of you are aware, what you pump is not a true indicator of what you are actually producing since the baby can extract more than the pump.
So, for two days now Chicken has taken a HUNGRY baby to the breast just to see what happens..........
And?
The baby stays on. And swallows.
She doesn't have enough for a full feeding, but she has enough to hold one off while I feed the other.
This is really our main goal. To be able to go out and about and for me to still be able to breast feed each one of them. Since they are tandem fed, they are usually hungry at the same time when we are out, making bottles of expressed milk necessary to have along for the ride. (Ever try to tandem feed in public? Not so much!)
Chicken could eliminate the need for a bottle and I could freeze my milk for the future (I have 4 bags in the freezer and 4 bottles in the fridge! Go me! That is a huge deal for me!).

Chicken is bound and determined to make this happen and she's very much a Type A personality, so it doesn't surprise me that she is sacrificing sleep to pump in the middle of the night. Once Chicken decides to do something, she rarely backs down.

She's been motivated seeing what a huge bond I have with the boys from breast feeding and she wants in on some more of that. Plus, she just wants to help out. It would be great if she can pump and freeze so that when they are teething if we have to resort to more bottles, we are able to without supplementing with formula.

Also, she confessed it would be really nice to be able to eat whatever she wants and not gain weight! LOL! She sees me eating milk and cookies every night and I think she's a wee bit jealous. Considering I managed to bake a cake the other day and we polished half of it off in less than 24 hours...um, yeah.
(Yes! I baked a cake during a nap time! Fastest cake I've ever baked. I put the pan in the over right as they woke up. Amazing! It's true that the 3 month mark really is a month of change and things DO get easier!)

I know the weight loss doesn't happen with everyone who is breast feeding but it has been amazing to have the pounds literally melt off every week while I continue to stuff my face. Breast feeding is not the time for dieting! I love it!!
I can actually wear one pair of my pre-pregnancy pants as of this week. I am so excited that I may not have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe after all (although Chicken dried all of my shirts in the dryer and everything shrunk so I may have to do some clothes shopping after all.....).

And that's where we are. Drugs are good. I like drugs. I might even take some myself and see if it will increase my milk production enough that I can pump and freeze some more. That sure would be exciting.

**I did start taking Dom a couple of weeks before we left for Argentina (Thanks KJ!). My milk production has def increased and so has Chicken's. It worked super fast and I would recommend it to anyone. NO side effects and nothing hormonal.
Chicken has continued to take it, pump and was able to help me by fluffing the babies in Argentina.

If you want to know where I order it from, I'm now getting it from Thailand, where it's the same RX but cheaper. You can contact me offline if you want to know more. Just leave me a message in the comments.

***Who gets the Fluffer reference??***

Sunday, June 6, 2010

One Year Ago

One year ago today on my 40th birthday, we transferred two bundles of cells that became two bundles of joy.
I don't know which part shocks me more; the fact that I'm 41 or that I have 4 1/2 month old twin sons.
Probably both.












Saturday, June 5, 2010

She Forgot But is Forgiven!

We're home now for about 24 hours. Argentina was amazing, more on that later...

It's the 6th wedding anniversary today of the Chicken and I. She forgot. Or rather she said, "No, I didn't forget the date, I just forgot that today was the date."
Hmmm....
That's OK, we've been without a calendar now for about 3 weeks and only recently realized May had passed and June was here.

Six years ago, my father in law's partner, the only man I've known as a somewhat father figure, the man who has died and is being buried today, walked me down a spiral staircase to a room full of all our favorite people. Chicken and I exchanged vows with a Buddhist water ceremony and the family joining in (but not my family because g-d forbid they pour water over our hands to bless us, it might piss off Jesus and his dad!).

I'd like to say it was a magical night, but the truth is, our photographer sucked, my MIL popped me a Xanax which SO doesn't go with alcohol, we both indulged too much in the vodka/caviar bar and we were so drunk we forgot to tell the wedding planner to bring out the wedding cake. And we told her not to serve it until we informed her we were ready....so...no cake. Thank god we had other desserts served at the table and no one knew!
I just have to laugh because it was clearly OUR wedding. We had the best music and loads of dancing and the best food. But, in other ways it was a disaster and it's all more than a bit hazy to both of us. Don't you wish you had been invited? I'm sure there are stories to tell I know nothing about!

We've decided to do another ceremony for our 10 year anniversary: sober this time for at least one of us and only a glass or two for myself. Smaller list and lots of children. I can't wait!
My how our lives have changed! Since we haven't had a chance to get each other gifts or cards for today, (Um, we have been around each other pretty much 24 hours a day now since DECEMBER. Not much privacy or time to surprise the other one!) we both gave each other the chance to take a shower.
Ha! Chicken even got to shave one leg before Whoop Whoop's crying became so intense, she elected to shave the other one at a later date.

Happy Anniversary Chicken! I sit here with a sleeping Whoop Whoop strapped to my chest, the only way to stop him from crying and get him to sleep.
I thank god we're far, far away from where we were 6 years ago.
Life is very good and I couldn't be happier! OK, well honestly I'm hella sleep deprived and once the babies sleep longer than 3 or 4 hours I'll be happier, but you know...it's pretty damn good this life.