Sunday, October 31, 2010

Spook and Boo

We have had one busy weekend! The boy's rhythm dictates most of our days and so, we never made it to the party at the Center because they napped late. However, I heard we didn't miss much, so I'm glad to didn't rush across town for a mediocre party.
Today there were a ton of Halloween activities going on in my little neighborhood. A toddler parade in the morning, a pooch costume parade at noon and later a Halloween fair complete with a band, games, hayrides, pumpkin patches and a corn maze. Yes, I live in a strange and wonderful place right here in NYC.
Although Grunter has been super cranky the last couple of days (new tooth?) and we had a couple of meltdowns getting out of the house both in the morning AND the afternoon, we managed to go out, meet up with other moms/kids and have fun.
Of course the best part was having everyone stop to look, smile, laugh or take photos of our little guys.
Here they are!
Monster stuck on giant belly, Dinosaur mesmerized by camera
Dinosaur is thirsty
Monster regard leaf object with great suspicion
What do you think these are? Why are they between our legs?
Monster and Dinosaur hanging out
Mommy and the Munchkins
The Obligatory First Halloween Family Photo

Friday, October 29, 2010

Urgh, Just ONE More Thing

Good thing I was able to sleep most of the day yesterday because Grunter woke up at 1:15am burning with fever and I was up with him until 4am. Right as I got to sleep....Whoop Whoop woke up. Same thing. I gave them both tylenol, nursed, slept with them on my chest...whatever it took.
But Mommy here didn't get ANY sleep until 7am when Chicken took over.
It's better that I let her sleep when I can because then she can be full-on, 100% there for me when I need it. We also had HN put in some extra hours today so I could get a few hours of rest.
Thankfully, the boys were only having a normal reaction to their flu shots they received yesterday (I couldn't go to their 9 month appt) and are mostly feeling themselves this afternoon--if just a tad bit crabbier.

The knots are still in my breast, there is a slight red rash and now I've got myself freaked out that maybe they are lumps of a different kind. Breast cancer runs high in my family and I am now paranoid.
I put in a call to my breast surgeon to see if they can do an ultrasound for me. I'm very hesitant to submit to a mammogram with the radiation and breastfeeding. "Some" say it's OK, "some say it's not. The jury is out.
I also called my OB--can't see me for weeks. A new OB can't see me until December or January!
And left a vm for my LC to see if she's in the city next week and can come over for a house call.
SOMETHING has to work.

I hope tonight is a better night for us all.
We've got a Halloween party to attend tomorrow afternoon at the GLBT Center and more festivities planned for Sunday. I hope the boys don't freak out in their costumes like they did for the photo shoot! I need some good photos of my little monsters!!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

What IS it?

For TEN days now I've been battling the same clogged milk ducts and milk blisters.
I am doing everything possible including taking soy lecithin.
Bravely, I have taken a needle to my nipple and pierced the skin so the trapped milk will flow freely.
Everytime it seems like I've gotten all the lumps out--I wake up to start it all over again.

I've kept mastitis away, BUT last night felt a chill coming on. Sure enough, within the hour my temperature had spiken and I was freezing. I went to bed early and burrowed down under my comforter but couldn't get warm despite the fact it was 70 degrees.
It was exactly like the last time I got mastitis--coming on fast and furious.
But, I didn't have the rock hard breast, the red rash and when I pumped milk came out.
Maybe I was getting the flu??

All night long I tossed and turned alternating between freezing and so-hot-I-have-to-take-off-all-my-clothes.

God bless Chicken who took over this morning after I fed the boys.
I conked out, sweated my ass off, then the fever broke, drenching my clothes and sheets. The whole morning and afternoon is a blur.

By 4pm I was ready for some fresh air, felt weak, but fine.

However, tonight, I've still got this red rash on my breast--usually a tell-tale sign of mastisis.

Sigh. I just don't know. I'm so ready for this to be over.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Snip, ReSnip

This very controversial topic was brought up this past week by Ruby, brave soul.
Now, I'm going to go there.
We had ours done in the hospital by the OB on staff. One was perfect, one was not.
For over 8 months we've known a surgery was in our future.

Yesterday that day arrived.
It's a horrible feeling to watch your baby go down the corridor of a hospital being held by a pediatric anesthesiologist. Your heart aches knowing he is going to go under and have his sliced again.
He's fine. It was a horrible day and I spent all afternoon with a very sad, sleepy baby on my chest.
By evening he was ready for his dinner and smiling, if still very sleepy. He slept through the night and today is almost back to his old self. Children are amazingly resilient. But oh, how I wish we didn't have to find out like this.

Now, you would think after all that, we would be firmly in the "anti" camp. But, for reasons I'm not going to go into, we still aren't sure. What we do know, is that if we had to go there again and we DID choose to snip, we would do as Strawberry suggested and I would second: if you are going to go this route, use a mohel. We didn't even know this was an option for us, as we are not Jewish.

I asked my pediatric urologist surgeon if he saw more of this type of surgery from the mistake of an OB or a mohel. Without a doubt, he said, an OB. OB's are more conservative and often leave too much foreski.n, the cells become sticky and the skin grows back together. They rarely had to re-correct the work of a mohel.
We wish we'd known, we would've gladly bought bagels and lox for ourselves, had a small bris and been Jewish for a day.

If you feel the need to write me hate mail, go ahead. Just don't be a pussy and do it anonymously.

Pushing Back

***Oops! You are all correct, it's not until Nov. 7th. I assumed it was this weekend as it's always on the same weekend as Halloween. Yippee! We are ahead of the game, I love that.***

In anticipation of the time change this weekend, we have been tweaking the twin's schedule by 10 minutes each day.
Our goal is to have them at the hour change by the time it occurs.
So far, we're up to 30 minutes time change for naps, eating, bath and bed.

But, they are still waking up early--not QUITE as early as the 4:45am's they've done in the past month--but early. I hope this gets better, because I can't imagine them waking up even earlier once the time change happens. God help us.

For those of you who have had to deal with this before, how bad was it? Did it totally throw your baby off schedule? How long did it take to readjust?
Any tips/suggestions?


Monday, October 25, 2010

7 Out of 7

Thanks for all of your suggestions for showering. You are some clean momma's! Thank god there were a few of you who also choose sleep (or a clean house) over a shower.

Funny, when I started this blog I certainly never saw THAT post coming!!

There were some good ideas....BUT...I soon realized my readers have MUCH bigger bathrooms than the typical NYC bathroom. So, I thought you might enjoy a glimpse of the space issues we are dealing with here in Manhattan.

You can't sit on the toilet AND close the door at the same time. Unless you turn sideways. And then your legs hit the kitty litter box.
Impossible to fit any kind of exersaucer through the door nevermind where to put it!
We retired the bouncy seats almost 2 months ago when they started flinging themselves over the side. They wouldn't have fit anyway.
Also, not a possibility of putting 2 crawling/cruising boys in a bathroom with a litter box and granite floors.
Oh, and the door doesn't shut all the way!

Yes, we 'could' move the litter box to this small hallway each time but what a pain in the ass. Plus, I still have the floor and door to deal with. Not worth the risk or work.
The hallway is also too small to fit 2 baby jail-type toys.

View from the toilet out to the living room. Look! We remembered to feed Poor Cat!
We had to get a kid/kat gate (note the cut out cat head to the lower left). This keeps the twins out of the bedroom/bathroom/hallway (and litter box/cat food) while allowing the cat to get through. Unfortunately, it's not a swing gate and we have to step OVER it. And we are short!
But it does what we need it to do. We got it through Safet.y Fir.St.

Perhaps you caught a glimpse of this....Behold the ultimate baby jail! We have 2 Little Play.zones interconnected.
Here it is in the evening after I've tidied it up for the next day.
By the way, I consider Boppy's completely useless!!! The only thing I've used them for is the very first month or two. Now, they are recliners for the stuffed animals.

And.....the baby jail at 6:30am! See how they've already tried to push the wall down and Whoop Whoop's head is on the hardwood floor?! Nice!
These kids are crazy.

However, they are fairly calm in the playzone when they first go in. I usually take that time to go around the corner to the kitchen and make a latte, my breakfast, their breakfast and get my pump on. I can poke my head out from time to time if if sounds like they are killing each other.

MOST of the time, they don't start getting really rowdy for a good 20 minutes.
This week, I decided to take that time to SHOWER!!

I managed 4 out of 5 for the weekdays, one weekday evening and Chicken and I tag teamed on the weekend.***
It's the cleanest I've been in over 9 months. But I still smell like a maple syrup dipped curry puff;)

***Full Disclosure***
I don't wash my hair everyday. Never have. Probably never will unless I swim everyday or find myself living in the tropics.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Moose, Monsters and Sharks

We finally broke down and bought the boys their first pair of shoes. Yes, we managed to make it nine whole months without spending money on shoes! Woot.
I'm not judging others on their shopping habits, but I'm in the camp that believes shoes on babies is ridiculous. Cute? Yes! But they serve no purpose. They are going anywhere using their feet! Why the need for shoes (because their IS no need, it's just...CUTE!).
When they were infants, their feet were all bundling up in bunting and then it was spring when socks were enough... and they spent the entire summer mostly barefoot...and then socks again in the fall.

However, the other morning the temperature had dipped into the 50's and I felt the judgement stares (imagined?) of people who probably thought my boy's toes were going to freeze and fall off because they only had on socks. It was 55 degrees people, not 30!
BUT, But, but. They both have the habit of pulling off their socks. Usually the left one.
So, yeah, they each had one bare foot. And that foot was a bit chilly. But everytime I tried to put the sock back on--Pull! Fling!--off it came again.

A few clicks later to Zappo.s and we have the boy's first pair of shoes.
Meet Mr. Moose Feet, Mr. Monster Feet and Mr. Shark Hats. I figure they are only going to be little once. Why not be silly and cute and dress them in ridiculous outfits while I can?
I think they are plenty warm now. And cute.

And while I'm at it, why not buy them silly shark hats that match their fleece jackets and highlight their new teeth?
Check out my fins!
Poor Grunter. He's just woken up from a stroller nap and looks very confused as to why he's dangling from a swing wearing ridiculous clothing.

Friday, October 22, 2010

How Long Did You Tandem Breastfeed Your Twins? And How?

The twins just turned nine months old and I'm still able to use the double bf-ing pillow, but it's becoming a bit of a battle zone. They are so aware of each other--pulling hair, poking eyes, reaching over and grabbing the breast out of the other's mouth, twisting my nipple. Good Times.

Also, one is crawling and the other one just starting, so I find when I am playing with them and they decide they want to eat/snack, they start pulling at my shirt, climbing on me and yelling. If I try to feed them separately and one sees the other getting the magic booby--all hell breaks loose.

I have recently begun feeding them sitting on the floor, Indian style with both of them straddling my legs facing towards me. It's not very comfortable, but it seems to work OK.

I've also put them on their backs on the floor and leaned over them (also to work on getting the clogged milk ducts unclogged). Sort of a primal-yoga-pilates type move. Again, not the most comfortable, but it worked.

Suggestions needed! I'm trying to make it to a year.

I know I've got some twin mommies readers out there.....surely someone knows what I'm talking about.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Keeping Mastitis Away...Help Needed

For two days now I have had large lumps in my left breast. Having had mastitis before I know to get serious about preventing it.
Out came the hot rice sock, the hot showers "combing" the breast, the massages followed and I've upped the pumping and breastfeeding.
I've even breastfed in the middle of the night when I've been woken up by the pain in my breast.
So far, I've kept mastitis at bay, BUT, I can't get these lumps out.
It's very uncomfortable even holding the baby on that side as he pushes up against my breast.

I'm pretty sure this was brought on by a milk blister on my nipple which caused a backup/clog in the duct.
The nipple was pierced with a needle a couple of days ago and it is healing now, painful, but healing.
I feel like I'm doing everything I know to do, but it's not going away. It hasn't gotten worse, but it hasn't gotten better either.


How Do You Feel About Your Pets Now?

When I started TTC-ing, my 3 cats were the biggest loves of my life (besides Chicken of course).
Throughout pregnancy those cats stayed by my side, though the upkeep of the two geriatric cats was seriously starting to leave me irritated simply because all that bending over HURT.

Somewhere in the 3rd trimester, (or was it the 2nd?) I had to kick them all out of the bed because they were disturbing my sleep. After 18 years, I had to close the door. I felt bad for them, but worse when I couldn't sleep because of them.
I fretted that the two 18 year olds would die; they couldn't last much longer with their declining health. I wished that the 'time' would come while I was pregnant so I wouldn't have to deal with their death once the twins arrived.
I also didn't want them to spend their last days feeling neglected, because while I in no way could predict just how drastically life with a baby/babies would change things up, I knew the cats wouldn't be priority anymore.
Trying to imagine that wasn't possible, but friends with pets kept saying...."just wait, you'll see."
And so when the time came to put the 2 old cats to sleep, I was devastated but in retrospect I'm so happy it happened AFTER the twin's arrival. I didn't have much time to cry over it. I think if I'd had to do that while pregnant I would've been so depressed and since I was on *bedrest* and unemployed, I would have had way too much time to think about it and let it suck me under.

Now we're left with just one youngish cat. He's 6 and he's the lowest maintainance cat I've ever had--exactly what we need with twin babies! I feel bad for him sometimes, because while we don't 'forget' about him, we also don't shower him with attention or play with him the way we used to. It's just not possible.

I'd love to leave our bedroom door open, stop the squeaky hinge from squeaking and let the cat sleep with us. But I cannot STAND it because he's on/off/on/off and he wakes me up. At this point, no one had better f*ck with my sleep and if he sneaks in and wakes me up, I am LIVID.
I never saw that coming--how I feel about my cat--but the babies and my sleep have taken massive priority.

I just had this conversation with a pregnant (with twins) lady who swore she would never feel that way. She just loved her cats too much. Yes, so did I! You can't explain that shift to people who are pregnant. Everyone kept telling me how the cats would practically become invisible and while we still enjoy his company in the evenings, he is probably a bit lonely. He lost his two kitty friends and now he's lost a bit of us as well.
Poor Cat!

For those of you with pets, how do you feel about your pets now? Do you find it difficult to keep up with their needs and the baby?
I have a hard time remembering to feed, water and scoop the poop of ONE cat. I can't imagine having 3 anymore and can't even fathom the upkeep of a dog or two.
Curious how others feel....

***I just want to add that we are in no way neglecting "Poor Cat". I have moved from Texas to Florida to Mass to NJ to NY in the last 12 years and took 4 cats with me in a single cab pickup truck by myself (oh yeah...I was that lesbian with a truck, did you see that coming??)
I LOVED my cats and always made sure that they had the best life. Poor Cat has an awesome life, just a little less awesome now that he's not the center of attention.
Oh, and the babies? I think their first word will be "Kitty". They LOVE him. Him? Not so much lovin' the babies....yet!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fall Parking It

This past weekend, I had the lovely opportunity to meet a wonderful couple who I've *known* through blogging *almost* since I started my own blog.
The ladies from (the now defunct) blog Queerstork visited my fair city and came by to see the fam. We introduced them to what we believe is the best latte in NYC and we all played in the park with the twins.
In addition to being a great writer, Queerstork is a fabulous artist and photographer.
Can't wait to see them the next time they come visit. Why is it all my favorite people live somewhere else?

Here are some shots she captured:
The little family--I showered that day:)
Grunter a-swinging
Whoop Whoop the drooly monkey boy
Mommy and Grunter
NYC's best latte

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I'll Do (Almost) Anything

To make sure the babies don't wake up.
They are pretty good sleepers now, but I still have the old fear in me.
Combine that with the fact that we have a one bedroom apartment and our bed is a mere 20 inches from the end of Grunter's crib...well, it's close quarters in here.

Every night, I curse the squeaky door while simultaneously sticking my foot out so the cat doesn't dart past me, get in as fast as possible and softly shut the door behind me. Unfortunately, our door makes a discernible 'click' as it closes and inevitably one of the babies will stir. Not wake up, but stir-scare me.

I crept into bed, pulled up the duvet and got cosy.

Then I realized I had to pee. Crap. The boys were still stirring.
There was NO WAY I was going to click and squeak and risk them waking up.
So tired. Please pee feeling, please go away. Surely you can hold it all night.
Absolutely not.
I then had three thoughts:
  1. I wonder if we have an empty tupperware container in the room? (We do not. Completely irrational, but wistful thinking.)
  2. Dogs pee on the rug. I have a throw rug.
  3. I wonder how much pee a size 3 P.ampers can hold?
Then I got up and went to the bathroom. The twins did not wake up.
Sharing a one bedroom apartment with (almost) 9 month old twins is seriously starting to suck.

We thought we might move into a two bedroom apartment around their first birthday, but while our apartment went under rent stabilization last year, the prices of the 2-bedrooms have skyrocketed.
While I'm not going to talk about how much we currently pay, I will tell you that the 2 bedroom is almost TWO THOUSAND dollars (cough, gag, cough) more. For an extra bedroom that is about 200 square feet. That's all we'd be gaining. Not going to happen.

For now, we'll continue to creep softly.

Monday, October 18, 2010


My boys are always doing that "twin thing".
Today, they both took off their left sock. Repeatedly. I would put it on (it was chilly out today) and they'd take it off immediately.
Today was the first time I've seen them holding hands except for when nursing. I can't believe I got a picture of it in time!!
Just 3 days ago they started really interacting/noticing/playing with each other.
It is SO freaking adorable to watch them look at each other, smile and laugh. What a great age. What wonderful babies.
I am so lucky.

Yes, my son is wearing fuchsia striped and polka dotted socks. Because I like it.

P.S. I showered today!!! And early this evening Chicken kissed me on the neck and said, "you still smell like a curry puff".
Hey, at least I'm still a Puff.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Our Kitchen is Spotless, Not Us

As I was cleaning up the kitchen last night I pondered out loud, "I don't think we've ever gone to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, have we?"
Chicken looked at me absolutely horrified and exclaimed loudly, "Oh god NO. I mean, I just...couldn't."
A clean house. That is clearly where our priorities lay. It drives both of us crazy to have a dirty, messy house.
A daily shower on the other hand? Priority? Not so much.
And since I'm back taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle for my milk supply, that means yours truly pretty much smells like a maple syrup dipped curry puff. It's not a bad smell, just different.

Because the thing is, I can clean up the house and keep one eye (or both!) on the kids. Taking a shower? Cannot do.
I've read that some moms get up before the baby does so they can take a shower and put on makeup. Oh hell no. Especially since as of late, little Grunter has decided 5 or 5:30am is an acceptable wake up time and as of very recently--as in the last three days--he has started his day between 4:15 and 4:45. So, showering beforehand? I think not.

Then, there's the option of showering during their morning nap. Except that's when I nap as well. You I can stay ALIVE. So again...choices....sleep or shower? SLEEP.

What about that afternoon nap? Well, that one is when I pump, feed myself, clean up all their food mess, make baby food, prep the next days baby meals, prep our dinner for that night, brush my teeth for the first time of the day, change out of my house outfit (yoga pants, nursing tank--usually the same ones I wore the day before until I realize I've been wearing the same clothes for...who knows? Who cares!), dab on concealer under my eyes and put on real clothes so I can take the boys out when they wake up. If the cat is lucky, I'll even remember to feed him. Since the babies his name has become "Poor Cat."
Not really any time for a shower. I've tested this and as soon as I sit down on the toilet, a baby will wake up. So, getting in the shower? Not going to happen.

I have the goal of taking a shower at night. Sometimes that happens. Often times, it does not.
By the time we get the babies to bed, pump, clean up the bath stuff, the highchairs, the dishes, the floor, wash the bottles, cook, eat and clean up dinner, pump again, clean the pumping gear....I'm DONE. I do not want to talk on the phone. I do not want to blog (well, I DO, but I am often to tired to actually do so), I don't want to do much. I'm so exhausted that even taking a shower sounds like too much work.
Plus to top it off, I'm having insomnia and we're trying to go to bed earlier since the boys are insisting on starting the day at an ungodly hour. There's just not enough time to do it all.

So now you know. My dirty little secret. I am an unclean woman. And I don't care.

Now I'm many of you SAHM's shower everyday and WHEN do you do it??

Sunday, October 10, 2010


The afternoon photo shoot only went marginally better. The boys were just OFF. The most off they've been in memory.
We didn't get great shots and we spent a lot of money.
Word to the wise: Get your baby shots taken while they are still babies. After they've started crawling is TOO late.
I meant to do it. I did. I talked about it at the beginning of the summer. I contacted photographers. And then I stalled. I still very, very strange not having "my" money anymore and felt like it was an added expense that really wasn't necessary. But as time passed, I realized I really wanted these photos and it turned out Chicken was completely supportive of the cost. There was no need to worry.

Now, I'm just sad.
I'm sad because I never got those itty, bitty baby photos that are so gorgeous and serene and innocent.
I'm sad because I will never be pregnant again and I'll never get the chance to go back and get those photos.
I'm really upset with myself for not taking the time to get some better 'twin' shots of the boys when they were small. I'm ashamed that I thought I didn't look good enough to have my photo taken with the boys, so as a result I have very few photos of me and my babies.
The whole thing fills me with guilt and I feel like I let my boys down. That I didn't get those perfect baby photos.

I realized something today. I think I really did have PPD. I simply could.not.function at a level other new moms--even twin moms--seem to function. Poppy, I can't imagine taking a baby photo shoot at 3 weeks!
I have not been able to ever write my birth story because it makes me so sad and confused.
I spent months in a haze just getting by on a day-to-day level and I swear, if it weren't for Chicken, I don't know how I would have made it. There were horrible--so horrible I've never blogged about it and only Chicken knows--things going on in my head and so many tears shed.
I'm better now and I know things are going to be OK.
I wish I'd gotten help then.
I really have a lot of regret.

But you know what? My boys faces light up with smiles when I walk in the room so through it all, I must be doing something right. I haven't failed them completely. Sometimes, I just feel like a crappy mother for letting the ball drop and not getting things down. I know it's just 'photos' but it was really important to me and now I'll never have them.

At least I have these sweet faces looking at me everyday.

Of Course

The day before the photo shoot the toilet breaks and then water overflows from the tank flooding our bathroom, hallway and closet. Many things are ruined, including the hairdryer. We get everything cleaned and fixed quickly by management and we will be reimbursed, but I have no time to go buy another hair dryer.
This equals a not-so-good hair day for the family photo shoot.
And of course the babies wake up at 5:45 am and are super cranked out by 8:15 and cry for TWENTY-FIVE minutes before finally falling asleep for a mere 22 minute nap.
That is the worst nap since....June? July? A very, very long time.
They woke up before I could even shower and eat. Well, I got the shower in anyway.

So OF COURSE, when the photographer shows up at 10am, they are both fussy McFusspants and W2 who is pretty much Mr. Super Smiley these days isn't in the mood to smile at all.
And of course, since Grunter has learned to crawl he Does.Not.Want.To.Sit.Still (or smile) making it very, very hard to get a good photo of the two of them together.
Chicken took the photographer out for lobster rolls and she's coming back after they get up from their afternoon naps. Thank GOD. I hope the afternoon session goes better!!

I'm using the same photographer as the one who did my maternity photo shoot .

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Too fast, little men

Did he really go from crawling just a month ago (and REALLY crawling only a week or so ago) to standing up??!!

This is all happening too fast.
Every twin mom I talk to says the first year is a blur. No kidding. Thank god I'm finding time to write down bits and pieces, I don't think I'd remember a thing.

Whoop Whoop is balancing on his hands and knees now and sitting up for longer periods...won't be long before he's crawling, too!

Everyday we find something else to babyproof. They are always changing it up on us!
This stage is challenging but my god they are so stinking cute!! It's a lot of fun watching them discover new things every day. I am so lucky.

We've been using sippy cups for more than a month now and the boys LOVE them. Total water addicts just like their mommies.

My next trick will be putting breast milk in their cups at dinner and reducing the size of their night time bottle in the hopes of weaning them from the bottle in the next couple of months. We'll see how that goes...

We've got our first ever professional photo shoot scheduled for this Sunday. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous. I've been having panic attacks at night feeling like a horrible mother for not doing one when they were itty bitty. I just could never fathom a time period in the day where everyone (including the mommies) could be happy, rested, fed, clean and get somewhere and THEN take photos!! I should've just done it. I'll always regret it.
I take OK photos, but trying to grab the camera with twins and get great shots....uh...very difficult.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, October 4, 2010

Shake It, Baby!

I owe you more photos than this, but the boys were loving music class this morning!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, October 1, 2010


Wow, it's been 2 weeks since I last posted. I think that's the longest I've ever gone. Needless to say, it's been a bit crazy around here.
The boys turned 8 months a week ago. I don't know how that's possible.

Grunter celebrated by getting sick and vomiting all night, followed by a day's worth of diarrhea and then 5 more days of loosey, goosey poo and diaper blowouts. I will say we've never had to deal with any of that in 8 months, so we are lucky. I sat up all night in the recliner, barely clothed and covered my chest with a receiving blanket. When he would throw up, I'd toss that blanket aside and grab a new one. Poor guy. He was so sick he didn't even want to nurse. But, by morning he was all smiles! The fever was gone and then he just pooped for a week.
He also choose that week to cut TWO teeth, learned how to get into a sitting up position on his own (he started sitting up last month) and truly crawling this past week. For the last month he's been army scooting along and now, he's really on the move.

It has been a LOT for him to deal with all with in a week/week and a 1/2 and it's all been a bit much. He can't stop himself from sitting up all the time and his sleep has been....well, sucky. With the teething and the new skills he wants to practice, we are not getting good sleep around here at all.

W2 celebrated his eight month birthday by cutting another tooth, sitting up on his own (but cannot get into a sitting position) and eating steel cut oatmeal and kiwi for the first time. He is an excellent eater and hasn't really met a food yet that he doesn't like or at least eat.

So far they have tried: avocado, bananas, applesauce, peaches, pears, pumpkin, acorn squash, butternut squash, carrots, zucchini, chicken, turkey, plums, nectarines, spinach, broccoli, green beans, corn, peas, apricots, mangos, prunes, raspberries, sweet potatoes, kiwi, baby oatmeal, Irish steel cut oatmeal and a few bites of yogurt just yesterday.

I'm making all of the food myself except for a few of the fruits like applesauce (which I buy organic in a big jar from Joes) and pears (organic jarred from Earth's B.est). I just found it too time consuming to peel, core, poach and puree these fruits.
The baby food making is a full time job and I am going to be SO happy to move on to the next stage! I've tried giving them some 'finger' foods of fruits, but neither has master the pincher grasp and have no interest at all in feeding themselves. They mash it around their hands and look at it, but it doesn't end up in their mouths. Oh well, in due time.

They are both very mobile in their own way, with W2 laying on his back and rolling from side to side to get what he wants. He seems to be mostly OK with waiting around for whatever toy Grunter brings by. But lately, when he gets on his belly and 'swims' we can tell he's starting to get frustrated that he's not getting anywhere.
Grunter is now all over the place and he's just so cute to watch because he's clearly proud of himself. Even his facial features have changed and he's sporting this endearing grin most of the day. Well, part of the day.

They are both still pretty fussy babies and the teething and separation anxiety hasn't helped. Oh the anxiety! I now understand what mothers mean when they say they can't even go to the bathroom. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if they can see me, they need me to be RIGHT THERE with them and that's just not always possible. Having two wailing babies lose it multiple times a day so mommy doesn't get a UTI is really nerve wracking.
Grunter is also going through a lot of stranger anxiety and it's no fun to live in a place where well-meaning old ladies just have to stick their faces down close to his in the stroller. Nothing but screaming will happen lady!
Grunter really is having fun using me as a jungle gym and just wants to climb over me all day long and W2, well, I have to be honest: I don't always know what he needs. He fusses if I hold him, he fusses if I don't. He's either super happy and all smiles or fussing. I wish he had some sort of medium control panel, but he's all highs and lows.

I'm still breastfeeding them, but tandem feeding is getting nearly impossible. They are so fidgety and aware of everything. They pull each other's hair and I've already caught myself saying "stop poking your brother in the eye!" W2 also has this thing where he wants to reach over and squeeze my other breast and twist my nipple. You know, the one Grunter is nursing. Of course when he does this, it pulls the nipple out of Grunter's mouth--he screams and then I have to try to hold W2's hand so he doesn't do it again. But he tries--and succeeds--many times through a feeding session. He will NOT be deterred!

I feed them tandem first thing in the morning before breakfast while they are still sleepy and that goes well. Then I feed them again before each meal (lunch and dinner) and after each nap. It's a lot of feeding.... Plus they get a bottle of BM before they go to bed.
If they wake up from their naps at different times that is really nice because we get one-on-one nursing sessions. Otherwise, it's hard to only feed one while the other is there screaming.

The other day Grunter crawled over to me and tried to lift my shirt, I never expected that. I couldn't conceive of a day my baby could do that. Most days I feel like a giant boob to them as they are always coming at me mouths wide open. It's absolutely adorable and I'm so happy to still be breastfeeding them.
My supply seems to have tanked a bit since they started sleeping through the night. That has me worried because I'd really like to make it a year.
I started setting an alarm for a middle of the night pump and while I'd rather be sleeping, I need to pump.
However, since the teething and being sick, I'm finding myself pumping at 1am, then being woken up by Grunter, nursing him in bed, then they are both up at 5 or 5:30am. This lasted over a week and it has been brutal. So brutal, that I can't do anything but fantasize how to get more sleep. Lately, I go nap everytime they nap which leaves me very little time to get anything done, but I can't get anything done without sleep. It's a vicious cycle.

The last two nights have been a bit better, I stopped the middle of the night pumping until Grunter starts sleeping better. There's no use to have that much fragmented sleep. And, they have been sleeping til 6:30am. I never thought that would sound late!

We keep very busy going on long walks, playing on the swings, going to family swim at the gym, Mommy and Me Yoga and Pilates, music classes (Grunter especially loves these!) and meeting up with other mom's in the neighborhood. In the past month or two, I have met no fewer than 10 other twins mom's. It's crazy! Now that the weather has gotten cooler we can all go out for walks with our babies. In the summertime, the only time anyone could get out was at 8am and you don't meet many people at that time. I have quite a few new mommy friends now and have even started up a babysitting swap so we can take turns with date night and no one has to pay for a baby sitter!

I only have HN here 20 hours a week now that she is back in school. I was so lucky and blessed to have her full time over the summer, but I'm managing on my own as well. There are good days and bad days. I never knew being a SAHM would be so hard. By the end of the day, I am just exhausted. There are so many posts I want to write, but just not enough hours in the day.

Every twin mom and dad I meet stops to say hi and tell me it will get better. Not necessarily easier, but better. Perhaps they see the fatigue in my eyes or perhaps they just know every twin mom needs a pep talk, especially in the first year!

Overall, this is an amazing time and we are thankful for these precious baby boys every single day. They are giving us so much joy and smiles. Every night when we go to bed we look at them sleeping in their cribs and just marvel how wonderful they are and that they are OURS. We love you boys. More than you will ever know.

If you've read this far, you deserve some pictures:)