tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post7621978375170065534..comments2023-12-08T05:01:22.204-05:00Comments on Puffer and the Baby Fish: Home Study Questions for Second Parent AdoptionPufferfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03534200400439443949noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-30458528679451119472012-01-25T23:59:11.202-05:002012-01-25T23:59:11.202-05:00In IN, Hetero couples go through those and more fo...In IN, Hetero couples go through those and more for the Adoption Homestudy. Such as is your sex life satisfactory, have you had issues, if so how were those solved . . .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-8265998285325971262011-11-09T11:33:41.296-05:002011-11-09T11:33:41.296-05:00we did second parent adoption in NYC and did have ...we did second parent adoption in NYC and did have the annoyance of the home study, and most of these questions. Unfortunately, sounds like social worker is not quite on the ball, as she should not have needed the follow-up IMO.<br />FWIW, we went through surrogates court, as opposed to family court, and in a private meeting with judge to finalize adoption, she apologized that we has to go through this process, and gave the kids cookies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-8204525394967303092011-11-08T23:14:31.621-05:002011-11-08T23:14:31.621-05:00It def sounds like she's writing a biopsychoso...It def sounds like she's writing a biopsychosocial. I know it's annoying & insulting but it sounds like she's just covering everything. I have to write these for my therapy clients and the info required is significant . For our second parent adoption, we had to meet with a probation officer in CA who asked all sorts of random questions...Careyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18236627069695181735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-76882750328312416112011-11-08T20:40:06.622-05:002011-11-08T20:40:06.622-05:00Our lawyer in MA filed a petition to waive the hom...Our lawyer in MA filed a petition to waive the home study. It was pretty painless for us, though still somewhat annoying.<br /><br />Remember to get a credit for your adoption expenses on your federal taxes (which only seems fair since the federal government's failure to recognize gay marriage is the only reason to do the adoption).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-22968321180053633682011-11-08T18:08:05.681-05:002011-11-08T18:08:05.681-05:00I consider us lucky. While I certainly had to jump...I consider us lucky. While I certainly had to jump through more hoops than I preferred we didn't have to do the home visit portion of the investigation because of California's current economic state. We met with the social worker in person once at the court house.<br /><br />Chin up - YOU ARE ALMOST DONE!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-90567944431158396952011-11-08T13:55:21.602-05:002011-11-08T13:55:21.602-05:00That's awful. I don't care what she needs ...That's awful. I don't care what she needs the answers to those questions for. I'd have to restrain myself from giving her a big F-YOU! The questions about Chicken and egg donation- WTF. SO inappropriate.Strawberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00800336069786992859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-88709679432008774572011-11-08T13:25:21.961-05:002011-11-08T13:25:21.961-05:00In Georgia, a judge can (and in the Atlanta area o...In Georgia, a judge can (and in the Atlanta area often does) waive the homestudy. The actual content of the homestudy is up to the social worker, but this is similar to what some of our friends have been through. Ours was waived thanks to a (not crappy) lawyer. It's stupid and a giant pain, though. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.Over the Rainbowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08406422256952106236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-22989100826294487942011-11-08T12:13:10.419-05:002011-11-08T12:13:10.419-05:00holy shit. on what planet are any of those questio...holy shit. on what planet are any of those questions relevant to the adoption?? how long parents have been married?? how often do grandparents see the kids? none of their effing business.<br /><br />we didn't even have to do a home study, thank goodness. if i had to sit through these questions, i would have hit the effing roof.AdventuresInBabyMakinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04791187104312323168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-34401660475994351912011-11-08T12:07:30.568-05:002011-11-08T12:07:30.568-05:00Those questions are just....beyond ridiculous. I m...Those questions are just....beyond ridiculous. I mean I am curious how that information really plays into your and Chicken's ability to parent YOUR boys. We are going through the process here and no matter how you slice it is just a frustrating process. I hope it goes smoothly and you are done with it soon.shroomiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14582280454980895864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-79332491542530044852011-11-08T12:06:05.152-05:002011-11-08T12:06:05.152-05:00Why does it matter so much who was born first? Th...Why does it matter so much who was born first? That's on their birth certificates for legal purposes, but they're twins! One of my current pet peeves is when people constantly ask which of my boys is "big brother". They were born 3 minutes apart!Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-8497479653609101802011-11-08T12:05:56.361-05:002011-11-08T12:05:56.361-05:00Um, wow. I have no experience with these things, ...Um, wow. I have no experience with these things, but I guess I always thought it would be significantly less invasive. Some of these questions are nothing short of offensive. Such crap. I hope it goes smoothly for you gals and is over soon!Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11866673305434515876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-29141118925956428452011-11-08T11:57:23.976-05:002011-11-08T11:57:23.976-05:00I am assuming because you say you had a careless l...I am assuming because you say you had a careless lawyer that we used the same lawyer, but well, who knows? :) We waited for the court-appointed social worker to do the home study. It was very, very rote. She came in, walked around, and she was in a hurry, so the interview happened over the phone in about 30 minutes. <br /><br />Mostly, I just told myself that though the process was annoying and I shouldn't have to jump through hoops, I was glad to have the option. The only thing that made me REALLY mad was when my lawyer didn't tell us procedures had changed and made us get fingerprinted at the police station when we should've gone to the court to get prints done. Good luck with study and so sorry for the aggravation of it all!z.http://zeebahzazieandthezoo.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-34406816707159933632011-11-08T10:38:35.479-05:002011-11-08T10:38:35.479-05:00That is such absolute total crap. Just googled for...That is such absolute total crap. Just googled for my own curiosity and in Canada (Ontario) two women can be listed in the statement of live birth (and on birth certificate) as long as the donor sperm was anonymous. <br /><br />It just seems so long that chicken, as a parent, has to go through such interrogation.Nadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08219960725085412879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-40792967458570108462011-11-08T09:16:39.776-05:002011-11-08T09:16:39.776-05:00wow that is f'n ridiculous! sorry you have to ...wow that is f'n ridiculous! sorry you have to do this. what a crock! i am thankful home studies get waived in our state for second parent adoption. hope it is over soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-72429826589865196352011-11-08T06:45:34.854-05:002011-11-08T06:45:34.854-05:00We had ridiculous questions too. I think vie block...We had ridiculous questions too. I think vie blocked them out but I know there was one about our religious beliefs. Ugh.jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17048960064364250283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-56093175602229201572011-11-07T23:16:00.705-05:002011-11-07T23:16:00.705-05:00What? Wow. Those are some indepth questions! Our...What? Wow. Those are some indepth questions! Our SW (odd older lady) asked us a lot of questions, but, wow, yours is beyond a lot. Ridiculous.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00750989479156376961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-33274251403452799002011-11-07T22:52:44.320-05:002011-11-07T22:52:44.320-05:00What the hell? How could these things possibly mat...What the hell? How could these things possibly matter in terms of the adoption? Grrrr! We are legally married in CA and DW is on the birth certificate but we also did the second parent adoption. We didn't have a home study. Just had to all go in to the office and answer some stupid ass questions about our relationship. Ridiculous.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-81933508442444017712011-11-07T22:40:06.778-05:002011-11-07T22:40:06.778-05:00We had the same social worker as you (and my guess...We had the same social worker as you (and my guess is the same lawyer). I was also surprised by the level of detail she wanted (we got a similar follow up email). I know she's writing a psychosocial, which for some social workers is very detailed and others, not so much. Friends of mine waited for the state to send someone and ended up with a probation officer who lived in their neighborhood and just wanted to check out their fancy apartment. He didnt even ask to see the baby (who was napping). No doubt, the whole thing sucks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-69019098929107466242011-11-07T22:33:55.189-05:002011-11-07T22:33:55.189-05:00Umm... Our "home study" was conducted in...Umm... Our "home study" was conducted in 10 minutes in the Guardian Ad Litem's office and went something like this: A quick confirmation of the spelling of our names and address, verification of birth dates, etc. followed by "Just for the record, you understand what this adoption means in terms of your rights and responsibilities as parents? And you want all that, right? OK, sounds good! See you next week in court!" The hoops you are having to jump through are beyond absurd. Worth it as a means to an end, I guess, but insulting and aggravating nonetheless. Boo. :-(Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10660985580732553593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-33051036543358586392011-11-07T22:16:50.513-05:002011-11-07T22:16:50.513-05:00Okay, this is seriously effed up!!!!! In Chicago t...Okay, this is seriously effed up!!!!! In Chicago there is no home study anymore so I don't know what is "normal"! The whole egg donor thing is crazy!!! What is wrong with these people?!!!!! I would be pissed! Good luck getting through this!!!tireegal68https://www.blogger.com/profile/13943003575298698264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4714398462016533571.post-66844354066107057612011-11-07T22:13:51.527-05:002011-11-07T22:13:51.527-05:00I started reading this post with my go-to "ju...I started reading this post with my go-to "just be thankful you can both become legal parents" attitude (no 2nd parent adoption in my state) ... But by the end of this post my blood was boiling for you.. Wow. Just wow. Sorry you have to deal with this shit.anofferingoflovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14787985680863798995noreply@blogger.com