Out of Control

***I'd been working on this post and I think it's very timely as I sit here...waiting to be transferred to L & D.***

Getting pregnant, being pregnant and ultimately giving birth have been HUGE lessons for me in giving up control. I have learned so much about myself from this experience and am a better person for it.

I always thought I would be that person who needed to know everything, plan everything--the sexes, the names, the perfect birth plan, the iPod play list, the going home outfits, the nursery, etc, etc.

Instead, I have shocked myself by going in the exact opposite direction.

• We don't know the sexes and I am perfectly OK with that. The sex was determined from Day 1, nothing I can do about it but wait and see! I never in a million years would have thought I would be OK with not knowing. Surprise! I just want healthy babies, that's it. And honestly it has been SO nice not to be bombarded with pink/blue. There is plenty of time after they are born for people to get obsessed with colors. For now, thank god, they can just be babies.
• We don't have names picked out. Oh sure, we have lists of possibilities, but nothing for certain. I want to see these babies, hold them, get to know them before naming them. I know babies and pets are completely different, but I would never name a pet before meeting it. Blast me if you want to for that comparison, but that's the best I can explain it.
• We have no birth plan other than showing up, thinking positive and going with whatever is best for the babies. Yes, we have educated ourselves on our options and medical interventions, but ultimately--what will be will be. I have seen way too many bloggers go in for one kind of birth they had carefully spent months planning out only to emerge with something they could've never dreamt of. I've also heard of too many bloggers heartbroken and guilty that they didn't get the birth they had planned. I might feel different if I were having a singleton, I think so...but almost all of the twin moms I've spoken with have agreed that childbirth classes and a 'plan' were completely useless in a twin pregnancy.
• Music. It rules. Take away the TV for the rest of my life, I could care less--but give me my music! But what do I want to hear in the throes of birth?? I have no idea. Plus, I'll be in the OR, they don't allow you to give birth in a nice birthing room for twins, so I can't even imagine me rocking out while 30 people stand by waiting to see if they are needed. I think if I have the choice, I'll just put Brandi Carlile on the iPod and keep repeating. Or maybe that will drive me crazy and I'll ask everyone to join me in singing "Under Pressure" with Chicken in charge of snapping. Who knows.
• Going home outfits? Onsies. Seriously. I mean, it's winter and they are going to be so bundled up and who is going to see them that hasn't already seen them? The cab driver?
• The nursery. HaHa! What nursery? This one has probably surprised me most. I always thought I would really need this and have it be perfect in order to be happy. Not so much. We have two cribs. The cribs have bedding and mobiles. We have a changing table. Everything matches. The drawers are full of clothing. It all fits in a corner of our bedroom, so therefore it's perfect! We were able to stay in our newly rent-stabilized, rent-reduced apartment in Manhattan, an apartment we love, a neighborhood that is perfect for us and kids, and we are surrounded by friends. We can walk anywhere we want, we have many, many parks right outside our door. Our Y is right around the corner and has baby swimming classes, Mommy and Me Yoga and a host of other kid-friendly options. All of this trumps the perfect nursery 10 times over.

All in all, this has been such an incredible experience despite the ups and downs. I can say that I made it a really long way with no problems and for that I feel very grateful.

The last part has been a roller coaster for sure, but in the end we are having a healthy pregnancy despite it all.

OMG, I'm so NERVOUS! But excited at the same time.

Scared at first...then exhilarated?!

Lots of Updates at 34 weeks, 5 days!

I've been a bad blogger and have been asked to come back and blog more often.

Fair enough, here we go!

I didn't blog about last weeks OB appt because quite frankly, it all went very well. The Doctors of the team have been pressing me to choosing a birth plan and I keep pushing back saying I want the babies to choose!

What I mean is that I wanted to be far enough along to know that whatever position the babies are in, they are likely to stay there.

Last week they were both still vertex, but these kids have flipped around so much during the last 8 months, I still didn't want to make that call.

Nevertheless, the team really seemed to think I was going to get to try a vaginal birth and I got rather excited and started reading all about it last week.

However days after, I felt a BIG movement from Chicklet and was sure she/he had gone breech on me at the last minute. Back to reading what to pack in your bag for a C-section!

Actually, I just stopped reading--period.

I went to my Wed. appointment this week fully expecting to hear the worst--and got such a nice surprise to hear that NO, Chicklet is not breech, she/he has just decided to stick that baby ass way up and out! I thought it was a Chicklet head...although I also thought it might be a baby butt.

I hadn't really felt it before, so Chicklet must have turned in a way that made a big difference in what I could feel. I also thought I could feel little feet jabbing my right hip bone, but nope, just Chicklet arms and elbows!

Shadow Boxer is also still vertex/head down and is back to the usual position of laying diagonal across my body. Meaning, she/he is as close to Chicklet as humanly possible, all over on my right side. This makes me rather lopsided on the right, but this is what Shadow Boxer has done almost the entire pregnancy. This baby really, really wants to be close to Chicklet! There is so much room on the left, but no....

It will be very interesting to see if Shadow Boxer curls up next to Chicklet in the crib together. I can't wait!

Speaking of waiting...well, now that I'm almost 35 weeks and they are both vertex/vertex, I am committed to a vaginal birth. There is a slight chance they could still flip, but they are so tightly packed in there, it would be a minuscule chance.

I truly hope that I go into labor on my own, but if not they will induce me at 38 weeks. The stories that I've read (maybe why I stopped reading?) about induction were not too comforting, but really it is out of my hands.

I know that I will do my best and if it ends up that I have to have a C-section, then so be it.

Because honestly? It's out of my control.

They weren't 'supposed' to do another growth scan since I just had one two weeks ago, but the tech was generous--and I didn't even ask!

Holy Big Babies!

• Chicklet is 5.7 lbs
• Shadow Boxer is 5.5 lbs.

That means they gained a full pound in the last two weeks! If they keep this up and if I make it to 38 weeks, we are looking at some 7 pound babies here. WOW. And that is with me losing 2 lbs this past week, but no one is concerned because the babies are gaining. That's all that matters.

I have to say, I never thought I would make babies that rivaled a singleton.

No wonder I'm having fire.crotch--I've got 11 pounds of baby pressing down!

OB said to keep doing whatever I'm doing. As I've mentioned, she is very conservative and I've taken her approach and have not been doing much of anything. As in, I did not leave the house for one week other than to go to the Doc on Wednesday and then the next Wednesday. Strangely, I do not have cabin fever. I think mentally, I am committed to doing whatever it takes to hold these babies in for as long as possible.

I do have a brunch I'm going to venture out and attend on Saturday, but that's it for the week!

My friends have been great at coming to visit and hang out which makes it so much nicer.

So far, I'm not 'miserable'. I did have one very bad day (Sunday) where I was afraid it was the beginning of the end, but thank god Monday was back to normal. If everyday were like Sunday, (cue Morrissey) I'd probably be begging for an induction/C-section.

As it is, the worst thing I'm dealing with is a Chicken with a bad cold (My Sherpa has been banished from the bedroom) and a Puffer with some intense acid reflux that is making sleep a real bitch.

But seriously? I got through a twin pregnancy for 33 weeks before acid reflux reared up and disturbed my wonderful nighttime slumber, so I've got nothing to complain about.

I'm sure the next couple of week things will only get worse, but I can do it!!

Sorry for the lack of updates and the long post--I'll be better about posting. I've got a lot going on in my head right now....

I Think Someone Already Took This NickName

I've had a new 'pregnancy pain' this past week. One that leaves me giving a (more than) little yelp from the recliner/couch.

One that makes Chicken poke her head out with (more than) a little concern to see what the hell is going on and if I am OK.

When your wife has recently been hospitalized and then released and then almost hospitalized AGAIN, your nerves are probably a bit shot.

So, I've started yelling out "Fire Cro.tch!" or "Fire in the Hole!" after the yelping so she knows not to worry so much.

The pressure from 10 lbs of baby head(s) pressing on my cervix is getting fiery indeed. Yowza.

I guess this is just one more way my body is preparing for the exit strategy.

Speaking of: 28 more days until said exit strategy must be accomplished.

34 weeks today. Hooray!

Discounts for Twins/Multiples

Great stuff I had to pass on to my readers:

Here's a complete list of all the offers:

HUGGIES
We offer a one-time gift of coupons to parents of twins, triplets, etc. To receive this gift, please send a copy of the birth certificates to: 

U.S. Requests:
Kimberly-Clark Corporation
Department QMB 
P.O. Box 2020
Neenah, WI 54957-2020


PAMPERS
We welcome twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, or more with a one-time gift of money-saving coupons! Simply send us copies of the hospital discharge papers. Any sensitive information, such as social security numbers, should be blacked out before sending them. Finally, mail your name and address along with the hospital discharge copies to: Pampers Multiple Birth Offer, The Procter & Gamble Company, P.O. Box 599, Cincinnati, OH 45201. Please allow 6 to 8 weeks for your coupons to arrive!

BABIES R US
10% off of purchase of 2 or more of same item. Big things only

Free Baby Products from The First Years
The First Years produces a variety of well-regarded gadgets and gizmos for babies. Send proof of birth, such as a newspaper clipping or copies of the birth certificates, to: The First Years, One Kiddie Dr., Avon, MA 02322, Attn: Multiple Births Program. You'll receive a gift of items from the company's product line. Contents may vary, but in the past have included bibs, rattles, teethers and toys.

Beech-Nut
Multiples packet includes coupons for Beech-Nut baby food products.
What to Do:
Call 1-800-BEECHNUT (233-2468) and provide your contact information. You'll be sent a packet designed especially for families with multiples. No verification is required, except for quadruplets and higher order multiples.
Other Info:
Visit Beech-Nut's website for additional special offers.

Gerber
Type of Offer: Coupons for baby food. Gerber's products include foods like rice cereal, juices and staged foods for infants and toddlers. They also produce a line of organic baby food products.
What to Do: Call (800) 443-7237 to request a packet for parents of twins and multiples. Verification may be required for higher order multiples.
Other Info: Visit Gerber's website for more coupon and discount offers. Gerber's product line includes a wide variety of baby care products, like bottles, pacifiers, medications, shampoo, bath accessories, clothing and sippy cups.


The 1st Years, 1-800-533-6708
Rattles, bibs
1 Kiddie Dr.
Avon, MA 02322



American Baby Magazine,
Free magazine subscription
http://www.americanbaby.com/subscription/



BabyTalk Magazine,
Free magazine subscription
http://www.pathfinder.com/ParentTime/parenting/babysub.html



Beechnut Baby Food, 1-800-523-6633
New parent package including coupons; label saving program
http://www.beech-nut.com/



Carnation Good Start Formula 1-800-782-7766
Nestle Infant Nutrition
PO Box AW
Wilkes Barre, PA 18703
Mothers of multiples need to send copies of birth certificates to this address for coupons for 5 cans of formula. 



Drypers Corporation, 1-360-693-6688
Several $1 off coupons and a coupon for a free package of diapers for each baby
P.O. Box 8830
Vancouver, WA 98666-8830



Evenflo, 1-800-356-2229
Disposable bottles, holders, nipples
1000 Evenflo Drive
Canton, GA 30114



Fisher Price, 1-800-432-KIDS (1-800-432-5437),
Family registry, brochures, catalogs, coupons
http://www.fisher-price.com



Gerber Baby Food*, 1-800-4GERBER (1-800-443-7237)
Quarterly magazine, coupons; call for more coupons at each stage
http://www.gerber.com/



Johnson&Johnson, 1-800-526-RASH/1-800-526-3967
Brochures, coupons



Kimberly Clark (Huggies), 1-800-544-1847
May now require birth certificates for proof. They will send coupons until the babies are 26 months old.
PO Box 2020
Dept. Q-M-B
Neenah, WI 54957-2020
http://www.huggies.com/



Lil Things Store
Ask about discount for multiples



Little Tikes, 1-800-321-0183
Two shoppers guides per year
http://www.littletikes.com



McNeil Consumer Products (Tylenol), 1-800-962-5357
Coupons



Mead-Johnson (Enfamil/Prosobee) 1-800-BABY123 (1-800-222-9123)
Family Beginnings Program for free baby products, coupons, free formula; call every month for coupon packet
http://www.meadjohnson.com



OshKosh B'Gosh 1-800-692-4674
Discount for multiples. Ask at your local store.
http://www.oshkoshbgosh.com/


JCPenney Portraits,
Visit website to receive free offer
http://www.jcpenneyportraits.com/multiples/



Proctor & Gamble (Pampers/Luvs/Baby Fresh), 1-800-543-0480/1-800-232-5326
http://www.pg.com/


Pampers Parenting Group
Coupons, rebate offers
http://www.pampers.com



Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Show
Free ticket to use any time during lifetime. Send child's name, address and birth date:
P. O. Box 39845
Edina, MN 55439
http://www.ringling.com/TextContent.aspx?id=11736&parentID=348&assetFolderID=354

Ross Labs (Similac/Isomil), 1-800-222-BABYLINE (1-800-222-9546)/1-800-232-7677
Welcome Addition Club; teddy bears, formula samples, newsletters, coupons



Sassy, Inc., 1-800-323-6336
Buy one, get remaining multiples free, offer for a feeding utensil set or training cup



Spencers, 1-800-633-9111
Growth chart, product booklet, coupons



Stride Rite Stores
Ask about discount for multiples

Do You Like Roller Coasters?

If so, keep reading my blog! Because while I just LOVE a good roller coaster, I did not expect my last month of so of pregnancy to be quite this exciting of a ride.

It just goes to show you that nothing is predictable and everything is completely beyond your control.

At the doctor, my blood pressure was completely normal. No where near the reading I had at home. Bizarre.

I gave a urine sample which they dipped and it came back negative for protein.

I have no swelling. I am well hydrated. The babies heartbeats are great and the twins move around like 2 kittens caught in a paper bag that is my uterus. They say I look great. I feel fine.

I am measuring at 43 weeks. Just when you think you can't get any bigger...

I can't see with my contacts, so I've been advised to just wear my glasses all the time now. That's fine except this is an old RX, so I still don't have 20/20 with them. TV is completely out. If I hold a book really close or enlarge things at close range on my computer, then I can get some things done. Otherwise I am blind. Seriously. Do you know how bad that sucks? And it's worse at night because I think my eyes are fatigued.

So....I'm home. Again. Which is good, but mind-blowing at the same time. They are not labeling me as having preeclampsia--BUT they are cautious that it could turn to that.

I will go back on Wednesday and take the home blood pressure monitor kit with me so they can check it out and make sure the size fits and it's working properly. We'll also do all the other fun stuff: urine, blood, ultrasound.

Until then...I'm just supposed to take it easy, keep my feet up and let the Chicken Sherpa take care of me. Easier said than done. It was fine at the hospital because it was the nurse's job to take care of me. But apparently I am not a very good home patient and try to do too much myself because I feel so guilty that Chicken Sherp has to do so much.

I'm trying...

Well....Crap.

Fuckity Fuck Fuck Crap.

Blood Pressure is rising.

Going into the Doctor's office now.

I fully expect they will put me back in the hospital.

Bag is packed and ready.

It was a nice almost 3 days at home.

Happy New Year--Indeed!

I'm HOME!

Yes, it was another shocker, but after 5 days and 12 doctors reviewing my case it was decided that I could go home today!

We never expected this at all since everyone seemed so adamant I would stay until my 37 week due date.

My symptoms just were not manifesting as true preeclampsia.

I am now to take my blood pressure 3x day at home and take it 'easy' but I'm not on bed rest. I will continue weekly doctors visits with the sonograms and bloodwork test for HELLP, etc. but they will probably be bumped up to 2x week visits quite soon.

The blurry vision is only with my contacts and not really with my glasses, so I'm just wearing them all the time now. There's a huge possibility my eyes have some fluid retention behind the retinas which have changed shape and thus my contacts aren't fitting correctly.

Chicken spent New Year's Eve at the hospital last night---both of us curled up on the hospital bed, I'm sure they don't see a lot of that! I got the best care and we are both so impressed with the hospital and high risk practice we chose. The nurses were kind, gentle and caring and the team of doctors were incredible.

Overall, it was a great experience and a nice 'test' run for when we go deliver, but wow am I glad to be home!

Thank you for all of your prayers, thoughts and well wishes. The universe heard them and acted accordingly!