Tired, but Proud

First of all--thanks for all of the comments on the baby bottles.

I have no idea what a 'set' is for the breast feeding (and I had to look up phlanges)?? What does this mean? What do I need to go buy? My god, I'm clueless.

I feel like I've researched just about everything endlessly except how to actually FEED the babies. Well, at least I've got some time to figure it out and you marvelous ladies to help me along.

Anyway, it's been a fun, albeit exhaustive, holiday weekend. Since we spent the night with relatives on Thanksgiving night, it has taken me two full days to recuperate. I was hesitant to sleep in someone else's bed given that sleep doesn't come so easily these days, but I wanted to spend more time with our family during these last child-free days that we all have.

I won't say it was a mistake, but it was exactly as I'd feared: a too-soft bed. That will do me in on a non-pregnant day with my lower back problems. Now with being heavily pregnant, I almost burst into tears when we got in bed because I knew how much pain I would be in from sleeping in this bed.

Normally in the morning I have an amazing amount of energy, but the morning after sleeping in this bed, I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. But what can you do? You smile and say, "yes, just fine" when they ask you how you slept.

We have a nice, firm mattress. Some might call it hard. It is perfect for me and the rest of the weekend I have visited it often in the afternoon to get an extra nap in. I love my bed. I love being back home.

Chicken has done so much to help out around the house--she has full Chicken nesting going on and it's amazing! She is a non-stop cleaning machine and has taken full advantage of my exhaustive state this weekend to throw out a lot of things. Normally, I would balk and want to be in control of this process, but honestly I am so tired I don't care enough anymore. Throw it out! She love hearing me say those words.

This morning was the first morning I felt remotely back to my normal self and we took advantage of my energy to make a quick run to BuhByeBebe for some returns. Then, we walked down to the West Village to meet a friend for brunch, followed by a lesiurely walk through the WV and on to the East Village on our way home.

The day was perfect with the sun shining and people out and about in the parks and on the sidewalks. I felt so thankful that I am having such a healthy twin pregnancy.

I am slowing down so much these days and I feel incredibly proud of myself when I can walk 2.7 miles in one afternoon! Granted, I was about to pee my pants by the time we got home, I needed a nap and I haven't left the house since...but STILL.

I'm 28 weeks and I'm still walking all over this city and I'm damn proud of myself. Tired, but proud.

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend!

Questions About Baby Bottles

Can someone please tell me what I'm doing? We've got 3 types of bottles because I've heard so much about how some babies will take this one, but not that one, etc etc.

The Dr. Browns were a shower gift, the Avent were given to us by twin moms as were the Born Free.

There are so many pieces with each one! I had no idea!

We washed them all in the dishwasher and have one of those handy baskets for the tiny parts...and we've made room in the kitchen cabinets for all of the new baby dish gear.

BUT--how do you keep the parts separated for the different baby bottles???

The only thing I can come up with so far is to wash the brands all separately and then put the parts in a 3 large ziploc baggies.

This is fine for now--but is this practical when I am actually feeding twins all day and all night??

I'm planning to breast feed, but I know I'm going to have to pump as well. The bottles will probably be used as a backup if I can't double breast feed. Not that I'm not going to try, but I want to be realistic about this whole thing. If a baby has to take my breast milk from a bottle, well then that's how it's going to be, you know?

So any helpful suggestions would be most welcome! Thanks!

So Thankful

Thanksgiving was great and I spent it with some amazing people. When I am surrounded by Chicken's family, I am reminded of how much love all of these people have for each other and how they support and accept us.

My own family is nothing like that and this pregnancy has weeded out even more of my family members that I have mentally checked off. More on that later...

I am so thankful to have married into this amazing family and that there are so many of us pregnant at the same time (there are now 4 of us pregnant, 3 due within 30 days of each other, the other one due in June).

Next Thanksgiving, in addition to the 5 little kids that are already part of our extended family, we will have 5 babies under one year old!

It's going to be insane, but I can't wait for our children to have the most amazing people to grow up around. I see how close Chicken is to her family and cousins--again, it's the complete opposite of how I grew up--and I can't wait to give them the experience of a real family.

It's all the most amazing gift I've been given and I couldn't be more thankful.

What a Difference a Year Can Make

There is so much I couldn't comprehend from last year to this. I was losing faith and going on overdrive, wondering what was the point anymore and feeling like it was never going to work. There were so many points I wondered if I would ever get and stay pregnant. I didn't--at least not like I thought I would--with my own eggs.

But life has a funny way of working out sometimes. Anytime I would discuss giving up and calling it quits, Chicken kept me going.

I'm lucky, I know that. I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to be pregnant. It's what I always wanted. I never thought it would take me 20 years to get here--but that was my life course. Twenty years is a long time to wait for something.

When I was trying to get pregnant and wondering if it would ever work, I was nervous about carrying someone else's eggs--even my partner's. I was worried a baby not genetically related to me would never really feel like mine, that I would always be just a surrogate.

But as soon as I got pregnant--I have never felt anything other than fiercely protective over MY babies, OUR babies. Whatever fear I had washed away the moment I saw that positive control line. Nothing else mattered.

There's too much pain out there in the land of TTC. Too many years trying, too much time lost, too much money spent, too many miscarriages, suffering, loss and grieving.

I want a successful pregnancy for all of you. I wish I could take away the pain, or pay your medical bills or even give you a few good eggs (of Chicken's--mine are crap). I can't.

But every post I read of another loss, another BFN, another dark day, makes me say a little prayer for you--to the universe, to the fertility goddess, to anyone who might be listening.

I know how hard this is and want you to know that. I haven't forgotten. I don't think I ever will.

So That's Who I Used to Be

Like many people, I've been re-reading part of my blog from last year.

I was amazed at the different person who posted last year. That person had a helluva lot of energy! It seems unreal.

http://pufferandthebabyfish.blogspot.com/2008/11/overly-ambitious.html

Today, I was lucky enough to have energy--but nothing like last year. I did manage to make:

2 dozen pumpkin muffins

2 smoked salmon/leek/dill quiches

1 apple cake

caramelized brussels sprouts with bacon (Chicken had to do this one, I couldn't do anymore!)

I took my time throughout the day and also managed to wrap a few gifts, get packed for the overnight Thanksgiving trip and write a few thank you notes, oh and take a little nap. I have not left the house and I am perfectly fine with that.

But, I have to tell you: my body aches like crazy and I'm DONE!

It's so frustrating that it's taken all day to do so little.

However, my plan to get as much done as possible in the second trimester has certainly paid off, because now that I've hit the third trimester the difference in how I'm feeling is huge (and I am huge as you can see from the belly shots!). We are slowly ticking off the to-do list and I have confidence that we'll make our Christmas deadline. It's all coming together, especially now that Chicken has been home for over a week. What I wouldn't give to have a wife who comes home every night.

I'll be very interested in seeing what I get done the day before Thanksgiving NEXT year with two 10 month old twins in the house. Wow. Now that's a crazy thought.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with lots of love, laughter and of course, great food!

Pregnant with Twins Belly Shot (weeks 25, 26, 27)

It's time for belly shots!

25 weeks pregnant with twins, 133 lbs

26 weeks pregnant with twins, 134 lbs

Measuring at 35 weeks with a singleton

27 weeks pregnant with twins, 137 lbs.

I am a little in disbelief that I'm this big and I have at least TEN more weeks to go (that would be a 37 week due date). I've gained 30 lbs now, so if I gain a pound a week for the next 10 weeks, I'll be right on target for the 40 lb weight gain. And if I gain a little bit more...I'm OK with that, too. As long as the twins are big, healthy and ready to thrive in this world, I'll do whatever I have to do!

I See You Baby

Shakin' that Ass...

Shakin' that Ass...

Both of the bat babies have decided that it's really comfortable to curl up with their butts poking as far out as possible on either side of my belly button. They move around a bit, but mostly it's just these huge ball of pressure. Sometimes when they get like this (not always at the same time), I gently put my hand on their little butt and give them a push telling them very nicely that Mommy does not enjoy this little ass display thank you very much.

Nevertheless, I am really enjoying being pregnant. No matter what I might complain about or the bloody noses, the aches and pains, I really am extremely grateful to be given the opportunity to breathe life into these two human beings. I can't wait to meet them. But not just yet!