Bummer

That is such an inadequate word to describe what I felt, but nevertheless it's the first word that came in my Pufferhead.

Puffer no go home. At all. Ever. As in: Until I Give Birth.

For reals.

FaceBookers--you already know this.

The 24 hour urine test came back at 568 (300 is the cutoff). Those numbers kind of surprised me and the staff as when I was admitted my protein was zero, but it wasn't a 24 hour collection (oh and to the nurse who complained about my 'output' I filled up that damn jug and started on another. I've got mad urine output lady!).

The result of protein in my urine combined with my blurry vision (that seems to be a bit worse...) gave them all they needed to keep me to monitor pre-eclampsia.

My blood pressure? Totally fine.

Carey: Yes, they draw bloods on me 2xday and are also testing for HELLP. So far, all bloods have been fine. I don't *think* I'm seeing stars, but I'm going to pay close attention.

First I was stunned, then I cried in the dark, then I tried to get some sleep (failed), then I ate breakfast and bawled listening to Brandi Carlile's "Dying Day".

It was not a fun morning.

Chicken had a big presentation this morning at 8:30am and pulled an all-nighter getting it done, so while I really wanted to tell her, I didn't want to stress her out beforehand. She called me and I told her anyway. Damn, that was some hard news.

There is good news!

I had an u/s and we did a growth measurement. At 32 weeks, 4 days: Chicklet is 4.7lbs and Shadow Boxer is 4.6lbs! Yeah! Little ole me is growing some nice big twins in there. I would've been joyful at 4lbs, so I was swimming in joy. If we can make it to 5 lbs, that is my new goal. They are doing great--they have a non-stress test everyday and all is well. And they are also BOTH vertex once again, so who knows, maybe I'll get a chance to push after all.

I got a steroid shot for their lung development and will get the 2nd one tomorrow. This way if they do come early, they'll have an extra head start.

I asked for and have already received a private room and bath. This is awesome, b/c I had...probably not the world's WORST roomie, but close. She watched telenovas or People's Court all day long and fell asleep during most of them snoring like a trucker. The trucker snoring only intensified at night. Her ringtone was set at the highest volume and was of a BABY CRYING. WTF?!?! I think my headaches will lessen in a private room!

There is a nice enough view of sunrises, although I'd rather have sunsets. That's OK, I can see outside a big window and play music through my mac or just be in peace and quiet.

I could be here for 5 more weeks, so this is great.

While I have a lot I could be 'doing', my blurry vision is making things very complicated. It's no fun to watch TV (have never even turned in on) or watch HuLu or an instant Netflix with this blurriness. It just makes me dizzy.

I have a great book that I'm reading with one eye. Ditto with the computer--not so easy to get things done when you can only see out of one eye at a time.

I think I'll ask for an eye patch rather than holding my hand in front of my eye all of the time so I can focus.

Other positives? I don't have to think about what to wear for the next month or what to eat or cleaning anything up. Yeah, other than getting excellent medical care, that's all I can think of!

I'm trying to stay as positive as possible and I really want to thank everyone for their well wishes and words. It means a lot to me.

I have so many friends who want to come see me and I can't wait to get some visitors. I know it will really lift my spirits.

Chicken is on her way up here and it will be so great to have a private room and get some snuggle time in. There's even a chair that folds out into a twin bed if I want her to stay the night. She has cancelled her travel for next week and in now in NYC full time.

I miss her. I miss my cats. I miss my little home.

But this is what's best for Chicklet and Shadow Boxer, so this is what I have to do.

Not the Doctor's Appointment I Expected

Let's just say "packing the bag for the hospital" just got moved to the top of the list.

Chicken and I did a massive Trader J.oe's shopping run (with delivery) yesterday morning, followed by lunch and then took the subway to midtown for my appointment.

Babies checked out fine (no growth measurements, but they should be getting close to 4 lbs now).

But for the first time, my blood pressure was borderline high--130/80 (high would start at 140/90). I'm normally 110/70 or 110/60, so this was cause for concern.

Also, my urine came back with protein. Yikes.

They took blood for testing and I am now waiting on the results.

All of this is pointing to signs of preeclampsia--which can and does come on quite suddenly.

Women who are 35 and older and/or have multiple pregnancies have a much higher rate of developing this. In fact, I remember my RE warning me to be mindful of it. However, there's nothing you can do to prevent it. You're either going to get it or you're not.

The midwife asked if I'd had a busy morning and I admitted that yes, we'd done quite a lot. Chicken felt like crap that she didn't 'stop' me from going to the grocery store. But honestly, I took the bus there and didn't think walking around the store and standing in line was that strenuous. However, while we were checking out, I said to her, "This is my last time here, it's too much for me." So, I knew I'd overdone it, but by that point, it was too late.

Midwife is hoping it was all just because of the activity that morning and I'm crossing my fingers that's what it was, too.

My previous post was quite timely as now Chicken really IS in charge of everything. The midwife told her so! I'm not on strict bedrest, but I'm supposed to be off my feet as much as possible. I asked her specifically if I can still do stuff in the kitchen and things around the house, etc and she said yes, but to really listen to my body and go lie down or sit in the recliner if I got tired.

To top it all off, Chicklet is head down again and that little baby head is causing A LOT more pressure on my cervix than those baby feet were.

I'm now to be on the lookout for swelling, sudden weight gain and headaches. I keep staring at my hands wondering if they look swollen and yeah maybe they are just a bit and yeah maybe...I do have a teensy headache that I don't think was there before.

But it's so hard to tell when you are feeling paranoid about symptoms.

The doctors said I'm also going to have a much harder time from here on out because I'm so short and tiny. These babies have no where to go! If I were taller, I probably wouldn't be in so much pain. So, if you are tall and pregnant with twins/multiples, luckier you!

The waiting is quite stressful and not at all what I thought my holiday would look like. I'd already been told I couldn't travel, so we had no plans to go anywhere--just the two of us staying put in NYC. But Chicken's dads are coming down tonight to take us out for Christmas Eve dinner and we have a lovely dinner planned with friends for Christmas Day. This may or may not happen...I'm quite tempted to do delivery instead of the dinner out tonight as I'm not very comfortable in restaurant chairs anymore.

I'm just crossing my fingers and praying to my idols and gods that the bloodwork comes back normal and I won't be hospitalized.

We're ready for the babies...but at 31 weeks, 5 days, they are not ready.

But just in case...I'm packing the bag.