I've gone back and forth a bit this week, but I'm getting a lot better at accepting that I've done all I can to try to make this baby and now it's time to "let go and let God".
This chart certainly helped me get there:
My antral follicle count in October was SIX. That means according to this chart I have a ZERO chance of having a live birth (and yes I'm basing this on being 40 because let's face it I almost am) even if I were to do another IVF cycle. Yes, I know the count can change from month to month...but really. My chances? Not so good.Wow. Zero. Holy Shit. My eggs are MthrFng old.
The hardest thing for me has been the fact I never got to actually 'finish' an IVF cycle. I never even made it that far but now that I see this chart....I guess everything happens for a reason.
I'm glad that I got pregnant, just that one time, for just a little while. It's my damn badge of honor at this point.
I will never know what it's like to look at my baby and think "those are my eyes" or "that little quirk is all me" but I will be birthing my love's child and that child will be mine.
I am officially done whining.
Off to Egg Donor IVF land we go!
P.S.--That post involving EWCM? That was me encouraging K to go make me a baby, not the other way around!
