Pill Poppin' (Baby) Mama

So....I've been getting emails asking what's going on and when am I going to blog again.  Well, there's been a lot going on, but I've also been waiting to see exactly what that is.

I can now officially say "Game ON"!

  

Last week Kate went in for all of her genetic testing, blood work and baseline ultrasound.  This was the moment we've been waiting for because K is not a 'proven donor' and until we saw the ultrasound we were damn nervous.  I didn't even realize I'd been shaking the entire time we were in the office until we went to look at K's lady business and our RE said "whoa look at that!" 

And there we had it, a basket full of eggs.  There were at least 15 antral follicles on her left ovary and about 8-9 on her right.  The RE wasn't going to count them at first saying "you have nothing to worry about, she's going to produce a lot of eggs" and I countered with "we're paying a lot of money for those eggs, count them."

While we were there, I also insisted on an RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) blood work panel for myself.  Not that I've had recurrent losses, but at this stage in the game, I want to have every single thing checked out.  We caught my thyroid almost by mistake and I'm not assuming everything else is fine.  At this point, I want every test done.

  

So now we're waiting for the blood work to come back for both of us.  That should be another week.  The good thing is that even if something in the genetics testing came back wrong--because she's my partner, we get to decide if we want to go forward whereas if she were a donor the cycle would automatically be cancelled.

In the meantime, Kate has started her period and we've already been back for a Day 3 u/s.  Once again everything checked out A-OK and it's cute to see K preening around boasting about her bumper crop of eggs.  You can almost see her feathers all fluffed up; she's very proud of herself.  I think she was scared of her body letting me down.  We are both breathing a sigh of relief around her.  So far, so good.

I started birth control pills yesterday, CD3 and will be on them for 15 days.  So far, just one little pill has wreaked havoc on my system.  It gave me insomnia last night and made me feel so nauseous I had dreams of barfing.  I spent the entire night tossing and turning and woke up retching.  I couldn't eat, was shaking and felt completely out of sorts.  K knew it was serious when I refused my usual (decaf) cappuccino!  I went back to bed by 9am and slept through until noon.  I really hope tomorrow is better, because otherwise I am going to be worthless.  Hopefully my body just needs a bit of time to get adjusted.

If all goes as planned (famous last words...) we should be doing egg retrieval/transfer either the last week of May or the first week of June.

Moving right along now....

Getting Better All the Time

I've been fairly quiet over here in Pufferland as life has been busy, busy, busy.

In fact, tonight is the first night in over a week I'm not out and about.  I had plans tonight, but I cancelled them as the weather outside is frightful.  I can do rain.  I can do cold.  I don't particularly like either, but the combination of rain+cold makes me miserable.

The updates:

• After the 3K in sperm was accepted and then rejected by our flex spending with A.D.P., we made an appeal....and as of yesterday they have accepted it!!!  That was great news to know we didn't lose all that money.
  
• I've had my nurse rep  at UHC working with the billing rep at the RE clinic in order to figure out if we have donor egg insurance coverage or not.  As of today, the clinic is rewriting their...I don't know...whatever they rewrite...and we have coverage!!!  This means if I don't get pregnant with this last IVF cycle (if I even get to DO a last IVF cycle) then K can donate her eggs to me, they bill her from her 15K coverage and then bill me for the carrier portion.
  
• The most we would have to pay is my portion if I went through this last IVF because I'll have no money left (since it was reduced 10K).  That could be 10K out of pocket, but that's a lot better than the 20K we were looking at.
  
• If my IVF cycle is cancelled due to poor response again, there's a good chance we wouldn't owe any more $$ for the egg donor cycle.  All around, great news.
• K is thrilled because we're back to the plan where she gets to outsource her womb!
• I have been running, lifting weights, doing yoga and pilates and trying to eat as healthy as possible.  I've lost 2 lbs and all my pants fit nicely again.  I'm well aware that 2-5 lbs may not seem like a big deal, but I am very petite and my clothes are all very fitted.  When you already wear skinny jeans there's really nowhere for that weight to go.  That's why I always keep it in check.  Two becomes 5 becomes 10, etc.  
• I made a promise to myself when I started this TTC process that I would not gain weight until I actually got pregnant.  It is the ONE thing in this entire process that I have control over.  It's kept me healthy, fit and sane.  I'm keeping that promise to myself because it's working for me.  It's really hard, but it's worth it.
• The spotting finally stopped after two weeks (with a two-day period in between).  No one knows why.  Could just be a one-time thing.
• Yes, the teenage mother really did hit me.  Let's just say the subway at rush hour can be a very volatile place.  It makes me really happy I walk to work and can avoid it most of the time.

New Stuff:

• My blood work from 2 weeks ago came back showing I have a little bit of a hyperactive thyroid problem.  Thyroid issues issues are directly related to fertility issues.  Nice.  A 'normal' level is 0.4-5.2.  Mine is 6.27, so usually most doctors would call this normal, but we're not taking any chances, so I start meds tomorrow and will go back in 4 weeks to have it re-tested.
  
• Because the spotting just stopped and now I'm on a new med, I've decided to take February off.  I want to have an entire month of a clean cycle to see what my body is doing.  I am not comfortable with pumping more hormone drugs in the Puffer without knowing if my body has regulated itself.  
• My acupuncturist is going to dig deeper to try to figure out the reason behind the spotting.  It could have been a chemical pregnancy in December, but there's really no way to know for sure.
• I'm getting a saline sonogram done before the next IVF to make sure the ute is fine and dandy.  I will schedule this as soon as AF comes next month.  I had an HSG done last March and RE declared I have a perfect uterus, but I want to know more before I roll this last dice (especially with the irregular spotting).

I'm having a difficult time keeping up with the blogs and commenting.  So, I've been a little silent.  But I'm out here, floating around, following all your stories.  

It's just hard sometimes, like tonight when I read about someone who is about to enter the 3rd trimester and I realized that if I had stayed pregnant I would be one week behind her.

Incredible for me to believe that I'm still waiting and trying but I could have been 6 months pregnant if only that sticky rice had stuck around.

It's times like this I need to focus on myself, my health and not be so focused on TTC itself.

I am just living my life and what will be, will be.  All I can do is be the best vessel possible in body, mind and spirit.