Getting Better All the Time

I've been fairly quiet over here in Pufferland as life has been busy, busy, busy.

In fact, tonight is the first night in over a week I'm not out and about.  I had plans tonight, but I cancelled them as the weather outside is frightful.  I can do rain.  I can do cold.  I don't particularly like either, but the combination of rain+cold makes me miserable.

The updates:

• After the 3K in sperm was accepted and then rejected by our flex spending with A.D.P., we made an appeal....and as of yesterday they have accepted it!!!  That was great news to know we didn't lose all that money.
  
• I've had my nurse rep  at UHC working with the billing rep at the RE clinic in order to figure out if we have donor egg insurance coverage or not.  As of today, the clinic is rewriting their...I don't know...whatever they rewrite...and we have coverage!!!  This means if I don't get pregnant with this last IVF cycle (if I even get to DO a last IVF cycle) then K can donate her eggs to me, they bill her from her 15K coverage and then bill me for the carrier portion.
  
• The most we would have to pay is my portion if I went through this last IVF because I'll have no money left (since it was reduced 10K).  That could be 10K out of pocket, but that's a lot better than the 20K we were looking at.
  
• If my IVF cycle is cancelled due to poor response again, there's a good chance we wouldn't owe any more $$ for the egg donor cycle.  All around, great news.
• K is thrilled because we're back to the plan where she gets to outsource her womb!
• I have been running, lifting weights, doing yoga and pilates and trying to eat as healthy as possible.  I've lost 2 lbs and all my pants fit nicely again.  I'm well aware that 2-5 lbs may not seem like a big deal, but I am very petite and my clothes are all very fitted.  When you already wear skinny jeans there's really nowhere for that weight to go.  That's why I always keep it in check.  Two becomes 5 becomes 10, etc.  
• I made a promise to myself when I started this TTC process that I would not gain weight until I actually got pregnant.  It is the ONE thing in this entire process that I have control over.  It's kept me healthy, fit and sane.  I'm keeping that promise to myself because it's working for me.  It's really hard, but it's worth it.
• The spotting finally stopped after two weeks (with a two-day period in between).  No one knows why.  Could just be a one-time thing.
• Yes, the teenage mother really did hit me.  Let's just say the subway at rush hour can be a very volatile place.  It makes me really happy I walk to work and can avoid it most of the time.

New Stuff:

• My blood work from 2 weeks ago came back showing I have a little bit of a hyperactive thyroid problem.  Thyroid issues issues are directly related to fertility issues.  Nice.  A 'normal' level is 0.4-5.2.  Mine is 6.27, so usually most doctors would call this normal, but we're not taking any chances, so I start meds tomorrow and will go back in 4 weeks to have it re-tested.
  
• Because the spotting just stopped and now I'm on a new med, I've decided to take February off.  I want to have an entire month of a clean cycle to see what my body is doing.  I am not comfortable with pumping more hormone drugs in the Puffer without knowing if my body has regulated itself.  
• My acupuncturist is going to dig deeper to try to figure out the reason behind the spotting.  It could have been a chemical pregnancy in December, but there's really no way to know for sure.
• I'm getting a saline sonogram done before the next IVF to make sure the ute is fine and dandy.  I will schedule this as soon as AF comes next month.  I had an HSG done last March and RE declared I have a perfect uterus, but I want to know more before I roll this last dice (especially with the irregular spotting).

I'm having a difficult time keeping up with the blogs and commenting.  So, I've been a little silent.  But I'm out here, floating around, following all your stories.  

It's just hard sometimes, like tonight when I read about someone who is about to enter the 3rd trimester and I realized that if I had stayed pregnant I would be one week behind her.

Incredible for me to believe that I'm still waiting and trying but I could have been 6 months pregnant if only that sticky rice had stuck around.

It's times like this I need to focus on myself, my health and not be so focused on TTC itself.

I am just living my life and what will be, will be.  All I can do is be the best vessel possible in body, mind and spirit.

28 Million Boyz

There are 28 million sperm inside me in various life forms right now.  Some dead, others alive, some probably too stupid to swim forwards (they are men at the end of the day) and hopefully at least ONE going headfirst in the right direction and attacking ONE of my 4 or 5 eggs.  I mean please, boyz, it's much easier this month.  Get it right, ok?

Yesterday my good luck fertility charms came in the form of Olive and L Babypants whom I had the pleasure of eating a lovely sushi lunch with just hours before IUI #1 (nice to get sushi in one last time!).

They are both wonderful and it was great Olive could squeeze in a lunch during her time here in our fine city.

My nurse said all systems looked great and again expressed surprise at how well I responded to the Clo.mid.

I bought a pineapple on the way home and tried to eat some.  Now, I did this last month and it was all "Oh yum, pineapple.  How I love you.  Chomp, chomp"  That was before I found out that the deal with the pineapple is that you are supposed to leave the core in it!  WTF people????!!!!  Who eats pineapple with the core???  So now it's all, "Oh pineapple, yum, chomp, chomp, oh shit there's the core, Gag Gag."  The anticipation of when I will get the core has taken all of the fun out of pineapple eating.  Not Yummy.

Went to bed early with socks on feet.

This morning it was back to the clinic...with my lucky summer white pants on!  Yes, I figured it was probably the last day I was going to be able to wear them for awhile because soon the progesterone will bloat and distort my stomach and possibly make me cry about it.  But for today, they fit.

The sperm count today was even higher than yesterday and I still had lovely EWCV and a great looking cervix for IUI #2.  My sweet nurse insisted that "If you get pregnant this cycle, it's all you, it had nothing to do with us and I really hope this is it for you!"  Woo and Hoo.

Afterwards I headed to the office for a meeting with our CEO, followed by a 3-course lunch at a very expensive restaurant.  I admit that after lunch I wanted nothing more than to ditch my stupid white pants in the street and walk home naked.  Almost.

Seriously, I was starting to cramp up and I don't know if it was the ovulation pains or the IUI's or the tight pants or just too much food or a combination of everything, but it hurt!

By 5pm, I felt like a waddling, stuffed platypus making her way down the streets.  It hurt so much to walk that old ladies were passing me.  Slowly I made my way to my acupuncturist for some post IUI needle-lovin' who once again gushed that I am her poster child for a most excellent cycle on Cl.omid.

All this talk is making my head big and has me thinking that I might actually get pregnant.  It's a nice feeling and a dangerous feeling all at the same time.

Now I'm just chilling at home with the cats...waiting for the night to come and my love flies back home to me.

$12,000 Worth of Sperm

Oh My God. We finally chose "Seth the Architect". No, his name is not Seth, but he is an architect and after K referring to everyone by their height I started giving all of the donors names that corresponded with something in their life. Works for me. I would die if I found out his name was actually Seth. I don’t even particularly like the name Seth, so again, it just popped into my head for no reason whatsoever.

Now that we have finally decided that this is the one, we’re buying 20 vials.

Providing we try two times / cycle and that we use Seth for K and myself, that only gives us five tries each.

We’ll ship six vials (three months worth) to our VEFC and they will charge us $250 for six months storage.

The others we will leave at CA Cryo and after three months, if I’m not pregnant we’ll ship out monthly (we think) for $190 shipping / month.

Hopefully there will be some leftover to get K pregnant in a couple of years...that's the plan and we really would like both children to have the same donor.

CA Cryo will store for free for one year and they will also buy back unused vials for ½ price.

Also, if we decide Seth is no longer working out for us and we want to switcheroo, we can do so for $150 providing they never leave the facility.

I cannot believe that each vial is $595 each.

Oh, that 12K? Does NOT include shipping or storage fees!!!

I’m dying right now.