But the cramps were getting worse and worse and I didn't know how long I could lay in bed and wish them away.
Doubled over in pain, I barely made it out of the bedroom to the bathroom and collapsed on the toilet. I had no idea what was going on, but I thought I might poo or vomit or both. The main thing on my mind, of course, was if I was losing this pregnancy? Were these preterm labor pains? What was wrong with me?
Holding on to the doorknob and gritting my teeth through the pain I started shaking uncontrollably. I finally cried out for Chicken who by a miracle was working from home today and tomorrow. Otherwise, it was 7am and I would've been all alone. I have no idea what I would have done. By now, I am completely covered in sweat, the beads rolling down my face, into my eyes, my mouth and yet I feel like I'm freezing to death.
In addition, when you're short and you're on the toilet, your feet don't hit the ground flat. The result is that your legs start shaking and you can't stop them because you can't put your feet down. That's the best way to describe it. Every time I am sick, I have to bring something into the bathroom to put on the ground so I am level, so Chicken brings me a pillow for my feet and water.
All of the sudden I need OFF the toilet but I can't move. I feel like if I try to move by myself I will fall on the floor. Chicken helps me into the living room thinking I want to go to the couch, but I don't. I want to lay down directly on the floor. I'm now wearing a sweaty tshirt you could wring out and my pants are around my ankles. I can't move.
Chicken gets out the M.ayo book but can't find anything specific for my condition and we decide to call my OB. Of course, we get an answering service who takes the message and says a nurse will call us back.
Around this point, I decide I really need to get up on all fours and push. Somehow I find the energy to do this, but I don't know what I'm trying to push.
Suddenly that's it, I have to go back to the toilet. And finally...release.
Thank god there is no blood, nothing that suggests the babies are in trouble.
Completely naked and wrapped in a towel, Chicken finally gets me back in bed, covering me with blanket after blanket because no matter what I simply can't get warm. We take my temperature, it is completely normal.
Hour after hour, I make the return trip to the toilet, drink a glass of gatorade and head back to bed to sleep the sleep of the dead.
The nurse determines I have a stomach bug and there is nothing to worry about as long as I still feel the babies moving (I do).
For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, I simply have to get it out of my system.
By mid afternoon, although I'm completely exhausted, I've managed to stay fairly hydrated and have worked up an appetite. Seven hours later and that's it. It's all over.
I now completely understand the intense fear that grips a pregnant woman when she thinks something is going to take it all away from her.
I'm 20 weeks today and for the first time, I'm scared of Chicken being out of town 4 days a week.
I really can't imagine getting through this morning without her. She is so good to me.