Thursday, November 25, 2010


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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Now You're Talking!

Our little Grunter is just marking milestones left and right these days. Three days ago he stood on his own. It was only for a couple of seconds, but he did it and he's done it everyday since. Crazy.
We've been practicing waving and saying bye bye for a long time now. Sometimes they seem to wave or at least there's a movement of a hand. Sometimes not.

But yesterday as HN was leaving, we were in the living room and I was waving and saying "bye bye" and Grunter, without moving his hands at all, looked up at HN and said "bye bye".
And then he went back to playing while HN and I squealed with joy!

Monday, November 22, 2010

No More TV for You!

Yesterday, we were dealing with a pretty miserable kid. But, he still managed to ham it up for the camera. He IS a super flirt!

Today, it looks like W2's cold was a 48 hour one, just like Grunter's. Much worse, but short-lived.
He woke up off and on through the night, but would fuss himself back to sleep. But his crying early this morning, 3:55 am to be exact, was a different cry, so I brought him to bed with me and nursed him.

I don't know how you co-sleepers do it, I really don't. I get NO sleep when the baby is in bed with me and never have. My back and arms and neck are all askew and I'm pretty much twisted up in pain the entire time. I LOVE it, but can't ever get comfortable all at the same time.

Anyway, he fell asleep in bed with me and I was able to put him back in his crib asleep. He slept until almost 7am when I had to wake him up because his brother had been awake since 5:30am!
Oh Grunter, you are killing me with your early morning wake ups!
I had nursed him at 6am and tried to put him back to bed as well, but that didn't go so well.
And we're up!

Good news is that Grunter seems to be A-OK so far and W2 woke up smiling and looking a lot more like his normal self.
Bad news is that he STILL hasn't figured out how to sit/lay down in his crib and all he wants to do is stand up. Oh, the partying that goes on at nap time with the two of them. I'm sure the novelty will wear off after a little while but right now, it's like Spring Break in there.
Did Whoop Whoop take a morning nap? Why no, he did not.
How about an afternoon nap. Negative.

I don't know how the kid is doing it and he wasn't even very fussy today. Thank GOD.

He fell asleep on me nursing at 5pm and I thought I'd skip dinner and bath and just put him straight to bed. But, while I was changing his diaper, his eyes popped open and he started laughing so.....we ate dinner, took a bath and went to bed as usual.
He doesn't try so hard to get up in his crib at night. I think he's so exhausted at that point he just lets me rub his back and stays down.

Eventually, he's going to get it, right?? We keep practicing....It's been 8 days now! Baby, lay down!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sicky Poofs

Poor Whoop Whoop has really caught a bad cold. About a week and 1/2 ago, Grunter had a little cough/sneeze thing going, but it was in and out within 48 hours and he never really acted that much different.
But W2, oh the poor baby. He wakes himself (and me) up all night long with the coughing and sneezing. He has a low fever (100.4-7). We've dosed him up with tylenol and tried to keep him entertained.

Mostly we have divided and conquered with Chicken taking Grunter out and about to play outside and do what they normally do, while W2, who does not feel like going out and about, stays inside with me.
Today, I did what I swore I'd never do before the age of 2: We sat in the recliner and we watched TV. Yes, I'm admitting it. We watched some cartoon movie and some Spong.ebob for an hour. Then, in the afternoon we watched some movie about a kid and his dog. He laid back against me watching the TV, very snuggly and quiet. From time to time he turned into me and nursed. Once, he almost fell asleep. It was all very sweet and I admit I enjoyed it alot.
It was so much easier than trying to engage him when he just wanted to lay there but laying there was too boring for him to enjoy. I understand why people do this.
If he feels this bad tomorrow, we will hunker down for a little TV watching again, I'm sure.
Grunter thinks he's died and gone to heaven. Man, that screen is addictive.

There has been a few episodes of vomiting as well. And we haven't had time to do laundry. I knew how bad it had gotten when I realized I didn't have any pj bottoms and found myself pulling things out of the basket saying, "Does this have vomit on it?" I decided that it was truly dirty if it had been vomited on. If not, back on they went.

Whew, sick kids are hard ya'll. This parenting thing is no joke. But this weekend, while hard, was actually good. I really enjoyed spending 100% one-on-one time with Whoop Whoop, even if he was vomiting on me. And to see the look on Grunter's face when he walked in the door and saw me was awesome. They are the best. Hard, but the best.

Happy 10 Month Old Birthday, Boys! Get Well Soon.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


For Alicia--Try it again.

For Everyone Else--Thank you for your support.

I said a little prayer this morning when the crying started at 3:30am, then 4:30am and then they were up for the day at 5:30am.
Deep breath. Today is going to be a better day.

I have the names and numbers of two shrinks. The funny (not funny ha ha) thing is that when I thought about getting some help earlier this summer, I contacted a friend who sent me references. These were therapists who all specialized in PPD. I called 3 or 4 of them who were within reasonable commuting distance for me.
Not ONE of them ever called me back and I called some of them multiple times.
Right about this time, HN started and I was able to get some more sleep. The more sleep I had, the better I felt and soon I didn't feel like I was slipping down the slope at all.

The past 2 months we've been in a sleep regression. As in waking up at 4:30-5am. I nap when I can, but the accumulation is wearing on me.
I think this past week, with Grunter waking up super early (it's always Grunter) and Whoop Whoop crying all through his naps and not sleeping most of the time....something in me snapped. Because when I can't get enough sleep, simple things in life become oh-so-challenging. I never knew I would be so delicate from the effects of sleep deprivation, but I am.

It's Day 6 of the standing up in the crib. Whoop Whoop still hasn't figured out how to get down.
This is what I posted on the Twins Forum:

We have standing play toys he has been using for a couple of weeks, but he can't sit down at those either. Everyday we 'practice' with him, but he's just too scared to let go (both at the toys and at his crib).

The other afternoon I went in 15 times in their hour nap. He never stayed down, popped right by up by the time I got to the door and was crying again. Another time, I tried to let him CIO, thinking he's going to have to 'get it'. He cried for the hour standing up. Another time he almost fell asleep standing up at the rail but was still softly crying. I've stayed at the crib trying to rub his back and get him sleepy. Sometimes this works, other days it doesn't work. One afternoon I nursed him back to sleep.
Another morning, I tried to nurse him back to sleep--but it didn't work. Another morning I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep completely.

Sometimes he and his brother just stand in their cribs facing each other (the cribs are in an L shape) and yell/play/cry together and no one naps. Sometimes his brother lays down and sleeps through the entire thing.

So far, no answers. Just someone who offered me a pack n play to separate them. That doesn't help! We have no where to put it! (It was a nice offer, though)

Today, we have let W2 CIO for 30 minutes and then Chicken has gone in to rub his back until he goes to sleep. With me, he just lunges for my boobs. He does not sit / lay back down on his own. Ever.

To top it off, he woke up this morning coughing and sneezing with a runny nose.

Tonight, my wonderful wife is cooking me a filet mignon with a red wine mushroom sauce, mashed potatoes with leeks and sauteed spinach with garlic. She is the best. I am going to have a nice glass of wine on the side, skip my last pump and go to bed early (and hope my boobs make it through the night without clogging).

Tomorrow I will wake up (but hopefully not at 4:30am), breathe deep and say a little prayer before facing another day.

It's going to get better. It always does.

Thank you for blog-cheering me on.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Crack on the Surface

Something happened to me this week. I don't know what.
It's not good. I am not coping well and I'm feeling very fragile.
It seemed to happen so fast.
Chicken and I have talked. She is worried about me as I am not me.
I am loathe to admit I need help, but this time I'm admitting it.
My biggest fear is to tell someone how I really feel because then they will know that I am really a monster with horrible thoughts.
I guess that's why it's called depression. There is this big, black hole and I am sliding down the edges.

Chicken asked me if I would think about weaning because that would 'give me a break'. Right now my day revolves around pumping and breastfeeding. There are only small opportunities for breaks in between.
But I really don't want to stop. I am finding so much that is overwhelming right now, but when I feed these is good. It's easy to feed them one on one. It's the best part of my days. I know they love me and that I am making them happy at that moment. The other moments could be filled with tears and crying and whining and more crying and yes, smiles and laughter, too. But when I'm holding them in my arms and giving them comfort from my body, I am at peace. I don't want that taken away, even it if means I would finally get a 'day off'. Right now, I need that just as much as they do.

Today a new reader commented on this post I'd written years ago. It was actually perfect timing to read it over today. I found myself thinking, "well at least I can do better than my mom", but my god, the bar is LOW.
I long to have children that love me. I want them to have the best childhood memories, full of cuddles and kisses and TRUST. I had none of that. Surely I can do this. I must kiss them a hundred times a day. I want to hold them tight and protect them from everyone.

I feel like a train wreck. Everything was so good last weekend and had been for a long time. This week everything went to hell and I'm not handling life's curveball.
Motherhood is so very, very hard.

I don't know if I can blog about this. I'm feeling very raw and exposed just writing this much.
I've only got one shot to get this right.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

How Quickly I Forgot

Whoop Whoop is crazy from the standing and I am crazy from the crying. Grunter went through the same thing a month or so ago, but I don't remember it being quite this bad.
The morning nap isn't SO bad, but the afternoon nap is wretched. He stands up in the crib and then he just can't get back down. I keep practicing with him, but he hasn't gotten it yet.
I want to go back in and help him, but the day I did that too soon, Grunter wasn't asleep yet. Well, once Grunter saw me they both started wailing and I'm now trying to comfort both of them. It was complete chaos and tears. That day neither of them napped. I've never had a day like that.

Today, I waited until I couldn't hear Grunter anymore and went in to help W2 down. By the time I got to the door, he was standing back up again. Back I go, show him how to get back down, rub his back, try to calm him down and....same thing.
This is normally the time I use to pump and eat lunch. That didn't happen today. I stood at the door, peeking through the crack and every time W2 would get up, I'd go back in and repeat.
After 15 times and over 45 minutes with his cries now a "10", I knew he wasn't going to "get it". Not today. Not this nap. I nursed him to sleep and put him back to bed sleeping.
He had to get some sleep and this was the only way, but I need him to figure out how to get down, not how to get me to nurse him to sleep!

Luckily, Grunter, who is inches away from his brother's head, slept through the entire thing. Which is why I tell mother's of twins....keep your kids sleeping in the same room--they WILL learn to sleep through each other crying! It's amazing!

I just don't know what to do or how long this is going to take. Any advice from those who are dealing/have dealt with this??
I don't remember it being this bad or taking this long with Grunter, but maybe it did and I'm blocking it out because it was that bad. All I know is that Chicken, who was on a conference call (in the hallway as there was nowhere to go in the apartment!), heard how bad it was and offered to take them out for an hour after they woke up. She is such an amazing mamma and partner to me.

I just sat on the bed and cried after she left. These are the days that I feel like such a failure as a mother. I get very overwhelmed on afternoons such as these and just wonder what the hell I'm doing. Being a stay at home mom is the best thing on earth, but my god, I had NO idea how hard raising twins was going to be--especially going through the sucky stuff like this, TWICE.
I'm so thankful for all the good days we've been having and just keep taking deep breaths and reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Cat with Limited Life

I'm not sure our cat is going to have nine lives. I might kill him first.
The babies have had the WORST time going down for an afternoon nap today. I have been expecting some tears and fears from Whoop Whoop as he wants to stand up in his crib and can't quite get down yet.
So, every night and for every nap, I have to go in to 'rescue' him. Grunter is usually already asleep and shortly thereafter, W2 falls asleep. Not so bad.

Today, they are both crying and crying. I go in, put them both down but to no avail.
The crying stops and starts. I go in again, but it doesn't help.
Finally, I hear the fucking cat meowing to get out of the bedroom.
This is the SECOND time today the cat has disrupted their nap. He jumps on the bed while they are still awake, walks in front of their cribs, etc.
It drives the babies crazy with excitement and frustration and they never fall asleep.

So here it is, almost an HOUR since they went to their crib. The cat is out, Grunter has stopped crying and so has.....nope. No, he hasn't. W2 is now wailing.

Cat, you'd better hide. There's no love from me right now.

Going to see if I need to rescue W2 again. Poor baby.

Calming the Baby Beast

If this doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will. I've watched it 5 times since last night:)

What I'm Digging Right Now

I need to make more of an effort to find some new music. If you've been on FB in the last 24 hours, you'll know how I found this band.
If you don't know what I'm talking about....I'll try to post the FB video. It will surely put a smile on your face:)

Monday, November 15, 2010

Traffic Jam

Just another day and another game of playing "loop around the ottoman".
They are so much fun!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Better and Better

Chicken and I agree that we have had the best weekend with our babies that we can remember--it's been so much fun. They are amazing and hilarious and I just want to eat them up.

We both woke up well-rested and after fueling up with caffeine and breakfast, we buzzed around prepping dinner and playing with the babies. The twins took an incredibly long morning nap, prompting me to suggest we go to Central Park Zoo for the afternoon.
It was very spur of the moment, but I figured let's do it. I am always a bit hesitant to 'mess' with their schedule, but at the same time I want them to be adaptable.
We threw things together and got out the door in record time at 11am.

Last month we had decided that if we were going to get out of our neighborhood, two single strollers were needed. Yes, I bought before I blogged. But, I have no regrets. These strollers are lightweight, reasonably priced ($50) and collapse with one hand. However, the photo showed a brown stroller with beige polka dots. In reality, they are pink.'s very light pink. We figured it would cost so much to send them back, who cares? My boys are sitting on pink polka dots and I could care less. I hate all this business about colors only being for boys or girls.

Anyway, the single strollers have allowed us to get on any subway we need. Yes, it's easier with an elevator and I still seek that out, but I have learned how to do the city-stroller-lift. It's hard to go up and down multiple flights of stairs carrying a stroller with a 20 lb baby in it! Luckily, in every single station some kind stranger would offer to help us. Who says NYer's aren't friendly?!
On the subway!

The day was gorgeous--again--and we walked through Central Park and on to the Zoo.

So crazy to see people ice skating with fall foliage and no jackets on!

We even saw Spiderman climbing the rocks!

We fed the boys lunch outdoors in their stroller--a first--and it went very well (so much easier now that we can feed some finger foods).
I also breastfed them on a bench. This I was a little worried about because they are so easily distracted these days, but it went perfectly. They could've cared less about the Zoo, but we had a good time and they were perfect little angels.
I had hoped they would fall asleep in the stroller at 'nap time' and while Grunter did indeed take a little nap, W2 would get soooo close and then wake up again.
However, they both muscled their way through the entire day (4 hours, door to door) with no tears, no meltdowns and for W2, no nap.

They were both getting a little crazy by dinnertime and we didn't want to push our luck, so it was a 5:30 bedtime. Whoop Whoop had bad timing and in addition to being SO overly tired he was having a hard time going to sleep. So, he decided to make tonight the first night to stand up in his crib and you know what that means? He couldn't get down! Oh the crying!
I rescued him and nursed him to sleep. Poor baby, he deserved it.

We went through the standing up in the crib thing with Grunter last month, so at least I'm prepared for how this is going to go!

I ended the weekend by treating myself to an hour long massage at the Chinese Bodywork Center. Oh...those ladies have some magic hands.

We wish every weekend could be this wonderful! I can't wait to take the boys to the Park and Zoo in the Springtime. It's going to be SO much FUN!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

So Far, The Best

Last night HN worked late and we were able to go meet some good friends for a nice dinner. Chicken had a big fat birthday gift certificate here and we ate it all up. We hadn't seen this couple since the twins were about 2 months old--it had been a LONG time! I just love reconnecting with old friends (and seeing movie stars--we spotted Mary Louise Parker of Weeds dining al fresco in the WV. She looked distraught.)

The weather here has been unseasonably warm and we walked to dinner and back-about 40 minutes each way. It seemed a bit silly to pay for a sitter to walk around, but oh, it was so nice to enjoy the warm night air and remember how alive this city is on a Friday night.

Anytime I get dressed up (and showered!) to go out at night, one of my first thoughts when I step out is "no one knows I'm a mother of twins". I don't exactly know why I think that. Maybe it's because that's what seems to define me these days and anytime I'm out, I'm pushing a double stroller.
I guess I feel like I'm tricking people, by just looking like a normal lady out for the night. It makes me feel a little sneaky. I like it.

Today, we had a whole family of visitors come--Chicken's dad, Gaybro, Brother, SIL and their baby (who is 2 weeks older than the twins). The house was full of love and laughter and I had a glimpse to how it must be to live in a big family--chaotic, but wonderful at the same time.
We walked in the parks, took the boys on the swings, played with toys. They all got to see what it's like raising a baby in Manhattan and they were impressed and envious with all of the baby-friendly parks and options in our neighborhood. I think they might come down more often now. We hope so. It was one of the best family days we've ever had and I would love for them to make it a once a month outing (except for the Gaybro who lives in Paris, of course).

We really want our boys to spend quality time with family and get to know their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It's days like this that make us think about buying a house in a progressive upstate town and just being close to family. This idea comes and goes. For now, we're here and very happy. I cannot predict the future. Anything could happen!

Friday, November 12, 2010

:) LOL JK ;)

Precisely why these became popular in email messages.
Think of the difference it would've made:

"Hi - it's the evil anonymous poster. Just wanted to apologize as my comment was a bad attempt at humor. Obviously, that fell very short."

Ladies, glad to know you've got my back. Thanks!
Anonymous, carry on with your funny self.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm Not Making You Read This

Let me just start off by saying that I think people who comment anonymously are complete pussies.

So when 'anonymous' said:
"I can dig the vegan thing, the travel to the south America thing with brand new babies, the rant about: inlaws, long drives, nipple pain, republicans, etc. I cannot climb on board for the funk train. Please quick shower everyday is a good thing."

Well, you can imagine how offended I was that she/he thought thinks I'm a.... VEGAN?! You can call me a dirty, funky hippie, but a VEGAN?
Seriously? Bacon is probably one of my favorite food groups. I eat steak once a week without fail. Loved Argentina where I could eat filet mignon every stinking day because that's what they do!
Speaking of Argentina...the babies were four months old! They were not 'brand new babies'. I have a friend who took her 6 week old to South East Asia for 6 weeks. Now that's a brand new baby. But four months? Golden age of traveling with babies. We polled the twin moms group and asked our pediatrician. They all said "go for it".

Also: (a) Argentina is not the same as 'South America'. It's not like we were taking our babies to Bolivia, one of the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. We traveled to a country very much like our own except that Argentinians LOVE babies and you are given first-class treatment as a mother. (b) Lots of people travel with babies and have a very good time. Seriously. Children are amazingly adaptable.
We travel and we'll be traveling again and you'll probably disagree with the plans we've got coming up, but that's OK.

But really, no one is making you read this blog. You see, the thing about this blog is that it's mine. It's my place to say what I want to say and how I want to say it.
If I choose to rant about my in-laws here, well, it's much better than actually blowing up in person at my in-laws. And if I write about a long drive (that I have to take because of the in-laws)...again, my blog!

Nipple pain? Such a huge part of motherhood for me that no one told me about. I wish someone else had blogged about it so I was more prepared for just how hard breast feeding would be.

Republicans. Really, I rant about Republicans? I mean, I'm not one and I don't agree with most of their policies but I'm actually socially liberal, fiscally conservative. And, uh, blog! If I want to rant about Republicans, I will. But I usually don't.

But see, here's the thing: I read so many blogs about Motherhood and while I might not agree with many of the ways people might go about something--in the end it's their kid, their style, their life.

I don't need an anonymous blogger to make me feel bad for not showering everyday. And I don't think any new mother, especially in the first year and MOST especially with twins should be made to feel bad for not choosing that shower over a nap or a meal or even cleaning the kitchen (it has to be done at some point).
Parenting Magazine even agrees with me:
An article in the November issue of Parenting magazine suggests that stressed mothers need not shower daily, stating reassuringly: "The air is drier in the winter - which means you need your skin's natural lubricants."

Anonymous, you have obviously been reading my blog for a long time and keeping tabs on my life. But, I won't miss you if you go.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We Didn't Even Know We Had a Club?

"The Great Unwashed"

I don't feel so bad now after reading this! There are people out there just like Chicken and me (and some of you, but not many!).
The no deodorant part isn't for me. I sweat and I stink and I know it. Also, daily *PTA is a must.
But the rest...some of it's too hippy, but some of it I get.
It's nice to know I'm not alone in my earthiness.

My children, however, get bathed nightly!

*Pits, Tits and Ass

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Pure Genius

One hour and 45 minutes later. Saved. It's all good.

A few months ago when I started running out of space while downloading photos, I (finally) bought an external hard drive and started backing things up. It had been on my 'to do' list for a long time and am I ever lucky I finally 'did' it when I did. It's the only thing that saved me.
Back it up ladies!

They are all there and with the exception of the last 2 weeks, all organized, categorized and just as I left them. Whew. 11, 528 photos. 30 countries. Countless weddings. And let's not forget the first 9.5 months of the twins.
Whew and whew.

I celebrated by going around the corner to the Chelsea Market. I adore this place--a true foodie's dream. I'm actually glad I don't live anywhere near here because if I did I'd be fat and broke. The Lobster Place lured me in with their lunchbox special and I sat down, ALONE and unhurried and savored my lunch. I don't think I've done that since the boys were born.
Then I got really crazy and bought 2 pastries at Sarabeth bakery which I plan to savor tonight with a glass of ice cold milk.

The sun is shining. Grunter is babbling in his crib (he should be asleep). It's a good day.


I'm at the Genius Bar where I've declared myself an idiot and begged for help. She brightened when I said I can see my photos in Finder but darkened when I said I was getting a message that my start up disk was full. Got a 'good girl' when I told her I last did a back up on Oct. 17.
Let's hope they can help me.

In other news, all of our preparing the babies for Daylight Savings Time was...WORTHLESS!
They laughed in the face of our plans and went to bed earlier than ever on Saturday night.
Sunday morning was a 4:22am kind of day and this morning was 5am, with their morning nap at 7:40am. Oh Dear GOD.
Chicken had to go to the office today, so I've been up since then surviving on a double espresso latte.
I would love to start going to bed earlier, but I'm so scared clogged milk ducts again. What to do what to do....

In a very bad mothering moment, Whoop Whoop woke up from his nap with a poopy diaper and I waited 15 minutes until HN came to work so she'd have to change it.
In another bad mothering moment, Chicken forgot to put up the baby gate yesterday and I came out to find Grunter covered in cat food AND a mango yogurt smoothie that she'd left on the ottoman. Hee. At least the cat food is organic and holistic (and the smoothie). If he eats it, won't be the first time a baby has eaten cat food.

OK, wish me luck! I'm very anxious for the Apple Doctors to fix me. Please, please, please.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fun Firsts

This past weekend, Chicken's gaybro was in town from Paris and he got to spend some quality time with his nephews. It was really nice. He took some photos and since I'm on Chicken's PC, I can share them with you.

Whoop Whoop ready to eat!

Grunter is making some funny faces these days!

Playing with their new Zany Zoo toy. We've tried to have as much wood and cloth toys as possible, but we have broken down and bought some plastic and electronic as well. I never though I would but they love them.

W2 playing with the new wooden ABC blocks--a big hit!

Laughing Grunter

The boys are highly mobile these days and they are so much fun!

Grunter started doing the army crawl at 7 months but W2 was at least a month behind. Finally Grunter did a full on belly off the floor crawl at 8 months, but Whoop Whoop was just starting the army crawl.
Now, just past the 9 month mark, they are both crawling (and creating chaos!). However, oddly enough W2 starting crawling before he could get himself into a sitting position. Much squawking ensued as he was frequently stuck on his back or belly.
Finally, on October 26th, we watched him carefully and slowly get himself from being on his belly to getting himself seated. He didn't do it again for a few days, but has spend the last week perfecting it, the crawl AND pulling himself up on things! All at once it seems, he just "got it".

It's so nice now that they are both mobile. I know some people say it's more work, but I personally think this is easier and WAY more fun!

Last week I bought them some balls to encourage W2 to crawl and it totally worked. So cute! I'd post a video, but I can't post anything from my phone right now...and well, I'm petrified of touching my Mac until I get in the Genius bar tomorrow.

We have moved on to a lot of finger-type food and more chunks. I still have a freezer full of homemade purees, but we are mixing it up now. It's so much easier! I can't wait til they can eat everything we do. We've made them split pea soup, califlower with cheese sauce, pasta, string cheese, squash, veggie burger, salmon and puffs.

Saturday, we tossed the baby tub as bathtime on the kitchen counter was getting a little out of control. We put them both in the big bathtub together and it went....pretty well. Chicken had to strip down and get in with them at the last minute as Grunter was a little scared while W2 was almost immediately smiling and splashing about. The next night he was perfectly OK and we were able to stay outside the tub! It's a little tricky and a little slippery, but I can't think of another way to do it (we have a skid mat). Although I must say, I couldn't do this alone and I'm glad Chicken is here for bathtime.

It's becoming more and more apparent that Grunter is more cautious than W2. This could change, of course, but it's interesting to watch for now.
Overall, the days are busy, busy, busy. I've never been this tired or busy in my entire life. But, I've also never been more in love or fulfilled as I am right this moment.
Everyday these boys bring a smile to my face and we are just having so much fun!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Technical Difficulties

This is not my weekend for technology. I haven't made it to the Genius Bar. I can't post from my iPhone (wrote a post yesterday but couldn't get it posted) And now I'm on Chicken's PC, wrote a nice blog and and then accidently erased it and couldn't get it back.
I'm done with technology for the weekend!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm Stupid and Might Throw Up

This is not the post I thought I'd write tonight.
I was cleaning up some space on my hard drive (or so I thought) and blissfully emptying the trash.
La la la.
Project completed.

Went back to iPhoto to download pix from my phone and...nothing.
There's not a single photo in my iPhoto. Out of thousands upon thousands.

I almost threw up. I can't find them on my external drive either.
I can find them in Finder but have NO idea how to get them back to iPhoto. And oh god, the organizing I may have to re-do.

I am so stupid and so f*cked.
No idea how this happened.
Going to the mac store tomorrow and have a date with the genius bar.
No one would ever call me techie, that's for sure.

P.S. Whoop Whoop was A-Ok by morning:)

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

I Doubt He'll Be a Vegetarian

Grunter must have an alarm clock stashed somewhere in his crib that's set at 4:30am. I must find and destroy it. Mommy needs more sleep, baby.

Today was a wet, cold day in NYC and I have been dreading this day for a very long time. Forecasters predicted the rain would last all day long. That's my fear for this fall/winter. The cold, wet, never-ending cycle of rain.
However, it was good soup-making weather and during naptimeI did manage to make a nice split pea soup with added bok choy and kale. I'm excited about giving some to the babies and see how they like it as well.

We have a pretty good schedule for the twins and it involves taking them outside twice a day--after their morning nap until @ lunchtime and after their afternoon nap until @ dinnertime.
Yes, we have playtime inside and we have M/T/W classes in the afternoon, but they are so happy outside even if we are just strolling around. Knowing that the bad weather was just around the corner, I've tried to get them out as much as possible.
Staying inside all day made for a very long day. It's much harder to entertain them and keep them out of trouble when there's no 'break' and on Thursdays and Fridays, we don't have a class in the afternoon to break up the day.

Fortunately, the rain lifted just enough around 4pm to pop them in the stroller, put on the rain cover and take a nice walk. There was still rain, but just a London rain and I can deal with that.
Whoop Whoop was quite fussy in the stroller which was odd for him, but I just chalked it up to being cooped up.
However, after giving him his water sippy cup, I heard choking/coughing/gagging and dashed in front of the stroller to find him projectile vomiting. My poor, sweet baby!
We raced home, Chicken met me at the door and we got them both out and cleaned up W2.
Neither baby has ever been sick, but they did both throw up one afternoon a few months ago after they had some soy formula--with W2 throwing up the most while Grunter had only a mild reaction.

Thinking back....we gave them veggie burgers for lunch today and they had soy in them. It is exactly what he threw up. They had veggie burgers last week, BUT those didn't have soy. I highly suspect he's allergic to soy as the cycle and duration was so similar.
Poor guy just laid on my chest for 2 hours vomiting intermittently while Chicken fed Grunter his dinner and got him off to bed. I am so lucky she works from home and can help out like this.

After awhile, he was ready to breastfeed and I held him for a long time afterwards to make sure he could keep it down.
My poor, sweet baby. I do love it when he's such a snuggle doll and just wants to be held, but not at the expense of being sick.
I'm hoping by morning he'll be back to his bouncy self, the rain will have stopped and we can all go out to play again.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Because It's Ladies Night....

We had a date night tonight. Chicken has been asking me....for what seems like forever....when we can have another date night.
I am not opposed to date night. I very much like going out to eat, putting on real clothes and getting away from my role as "mommy". But this past month or so has seen some sleep regression on Grunter's part and I just haven't ever felt like I had the energy to go out once the 'day' was over.

Enter Sharona.

We have a dear friend, one Chicken met over a decade ago while playing rugby, that wanted to come over, visit, and babysit for us so we could go out.
She not only did this for us BUT she brought us cupcakes as well! We love her. She is so awesome.
Even though Grunter decided to wake up at 4:30am this morning and was a long morning let's just leave it at that...the day turned out well in the long run and we did go out tonight for fondue at this place.
The weather was perfect for this sort of food and I even indulged in a couple of glasses of wine.

All in all, it was a great night. Even if all we did was talk about how wonderful our boys are and how much we are loving life with them right now. This is such a fun age. Every day they are doing something new and it's amazing watching them take in everything around them.
They make my heart melt just thinking about them.
I can't wait to go to bed so I can shine the light of my phone on them and watch them sleeping. It's my favorite part of going to bed.

Now if Grunter would just sleep a little bit longer.......

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Because It Feels Good

Blogging. I like it. I need it. I sleep better when I blog. It's true.
When I don't blog, all I do is lay in bed awake thinking about all the things I want to write down.
NOT blogging was contributing to my insomnia, I swear. Since I started writing more, I'm sleeping better.

I need to document things. I don't want to look back and wonder what happened and not remember because I'm in a constant state of sleep deprivation. This is my perfect outlet to do so.

NaBloPoMo. I'm in.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Bare It All

It's official, I've now bared my boobs for everyone. I started to keep count in the beginning and I got up to about 30-something and finally realized: Everyone who comes over is probably going to see my tits. And they have. It was either that or hide out in the bedroom and never see another human besides HN and Chicken.

And, Lactation Consultant has seen them (with a bonus of feeling me up) too!
My LC paid me a house call today. She came in demanding to "see those nipples". Love it. Believe it or not, all of our work to date has been done over the phone because she's that good.
And she's never charged me a penny. So today, I actually felt good writing out a check because without her, I would never have continued to breast feed. She has saved us so much money in formula, she's earned a nice check!

The good news is that I'm on the mend, so much so that I didn't even have that much of a 'problem' to show her. The bad news is that this breast seems prime to clog as it did again just last night. And, it turns out--you can get a 'little' bit of mastisis, which is what I had the other night. I had no idea you could fight it off without a dose of antibiotics, but you can.

More good news is that I am figuring out ways to get the clog out--fast!
Bad news is that the stubborn little lump I am feeling still has not gone away. I've got an ultrasound scheduled for that just to cover all my bases.

I'm going to have to concentrate more on some one-on-one nursing time in the cradle hold as that pull is where I have the main clogged duct.
Normally, I tandem them in the football hold, but that puts the pull at the wrong level/angle to suck it out.
It's going to be hard to do one-on-one because my babies aren't used to 'waiting their turn'. The blessing of being a SAHM with HN and having Chicken work from home is that these are twins who gets tons of 1-on-1 time. Unfortunately that also means they haven't ever really been taught to wait like most twins do. I have to work on that as in the afternoons HN is gone and Chicken is often on calls. I'm on my own and when they are ready to eat they now crawl up to me like desperate baby goats and lunge themselves clawing at my chest.

Really, I would love to show you a video clip and you would wet your pants laughing because I am laughing at it while it's happening. But I can't. Because, you know, my tits are in it.
And while I have now shown my tits to pretty much everyone, and I mean everyone--like that repairman HN let in the other day who waltzed through the living room, glanced over, stumbled and blushed as I waved--I'm just not ready to go viral on Utube.