Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Oops. It Happened Again

The first feeling was jealously not joy.
My brain was telling me to say "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you."
And I did, right after "You've got to be fucking kidding me. The practice run try?"

She's 31. She's got fresh sperm. It was easy.
She's by far my favorite relative in all of Chicken's family and it IS going to be super cool having another cousin so close in age.
And yet the news still hit me a bit like acid being thrown.

We told her before anyone in our family. And now we know before anyone else as well. I'm flattered we are the first to know.
I am truly joyful for her and wish her a great pregnancy.
But damn. That initial reaction.
It never gets easier.
Does it?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


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Eva said...

Nope, it doesn't. Preach it sister!

Jen said...

I agree. It never gets easier and for me it is hard to admit the bitterness of fertility PTSD.

AdventuresInBabyMaking said...

God, I feel like such an ass admitting it, but I feel the same way sometimes. I didn't think I was that kind of person, and it isn't a competition, but there you go.

Melissa said...

Totally agree with everyone else. I'm still such a bitter Betty about the TTC process. A friend of ours sister and partner just found out they are pregnant. My first question wasn't when are they due, nut how long did it take them to get a BFP. I think this whole process leaves permanent emotional scars.

anofferingoflove said...

nope, it doesnt. im still bitter too. *hugs*

Next in Line said...

It just bites. I feel so lucky to have her, but nothing erases two and half years.

Lez said...

It certainly does bite! I haven't even tried that many times (only twice, 3 years ago) and it still hurts!! Why do some people have it so easy?

Strawberry said...

Unfortunately I don't think it does. The grass is always going to be greener somewhere...whether it's infertility-related, easier-birth-than-you-had-related, the-girl-you-always-wanted-related...whatever is it. Resentment sucks.

N said...

It hasn't yet for me. *hugs*

Ruby at Breathedragon said...

I HOPE it gets easier, eventually...

So far, nah.

But eventually. Hopefully.