Sunday, August 8, 2010

Not Ready To Quit

Since my broken titty about 3 weeks ago, I have had:
  • a clogged milk duct in the opposite breast
  • a clogged milk duct in the same (mastitis) breast *last weekend*
  • a probable yeast infection in the same (mastitis) breast *happening for the last couple of days*
  • a clogged milk duct in the same (mastitis) breast *happening now*
I worked through the clogs previously, so I'm pretty sure I can do it again (which is why I'm up pumping at 2am....)
But, this is getting really, really old.
And painful.

I learned that the yeast infection (self diagnosed) was probably caused by my not taking probiotics when I took the antibiotics to get rid of the mastitis. That sucks.
And the yeast infection hurts to nurse worse than the mastitis.
It hurt so bad yesterday I avoided pumping in between feeds and the next thing I know I've got a lumpy hard breast. Again.

I've heard that once you get a clogged milk duct or mastitis you can have more problems. And you know I could take this even once a month. But this is weekly or more now. This is ridiculous.

Chicken has brought up the Q word. I'm not ready. It would break my heart to quit right now because I'm really enjoying breastfeeding my babies and I would hate to quit when I'm not ready. But my body seems to really be rebelling against my best intentions.
I just don't know what to do.

For now, I'm sleeping on the couch with a heating pad on my breast and pumping away.
Tomorrow is another day. One with hot rice socks in my bra, more feeding, constant pumping, massages and probably some prayers.

I'm not ready to quit.


Jackie said...

Oh, Puffer. That sounds awful. If you're not ready to quit, then don't! Any chance you could see an LC about what's going on?

As for the yeast infection, I had one and it was so painful - I'm so sorry you got that on top of everything. We used Gentian Violet, and while it wasn't so cute to have a purple-mouthed baby for a week, it worked like a charm and I felt better almost immediately. Hope that helps!

Nicole said...

Ugh! I'm so sorry. My sister had yeast infections in her breasts with her first two kids and went on an yeast free diet because she didn't want to stop breast feeding. The diet was difficult for sure, but worked in the end. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

You might not be ready to quit but are they ready for formula??

Mommy and Mamita said...

Sorry you are having all these nursing issues. Unfortunately, I have had the displeasure of dealing with thrush as well. If you have thrush, both you and the babies need to be treated at the same time or you will just end up passing it back and forth. Gentian Violet, like Jackie said, is a good option and the quickest way to get rid of it if you don't mind the mess and you can find some place that has it (a regular drugstore won't). We ended up using diflucan (you need a prescription) for 10 days -pills for me and liquid for the little guy.

Laurie said...

That Q word has been floating around our house too... and I, too, am not ready. Neither is Ryan. Sigh.

Ryan and I had thrush... It was SO painful. We ended up with cream for inside his mouth (not the purple one) and diflucan for me. We saw relief within 24 hours.

I hope everything eases up and works out for you guys!

Anonymous said...

You are a rock star momma!! :O)

Jen said...

You know what is best and don't quit before you are ready and won't have regrets! If it becomes too much and you are ready, then it is time. Until then, baby those boobs! Either way, you have given those boys amazing foundation and have nothing to feel bad about.

nutella said...

I know what you mean about not feeling ready to quit. Even when I made it to my goal of 6 months and Miles had clearly been done weeks prior I had mixed feelings about stopping. Our BF relationship was never easy or blissful and I still feel sad about what the reality was versus what I had wanted it to be.

I'm glad you are getting things treated, but I agree, it's a pain literally! I've heard that taking lecithin can help with clogged ducts, maybe ask your LC. I hope the yeast and the mastits get gone quickly and never return!

Melissa said...

Way to hang in there! I'm so sorry you keep having this come up. SO not fun.

poppycat said...

That just blows! I'm sorry to hear the problems are back and I hope this episode clears more easily than the last. Wish I had advice to offer but, alas, a hug from here will have to do.

Next in Line said...

Puffer that sounds exhausting. Does your world's best LC have any suggestions? I hope it gets better:)

Heather said...

Just wanted to chime in that if you think you have a yeast infection (thrush), I'd say you should get treated ASAP, since it will easily and quickly pass back and forth between you and the babies.

Also, it's probably just coincidence, but I just looked through my journal and see that I had the most clogged duct issues when my baby was right around 6 months old... and then they went away. She's a year now, and I haven't had a single clog since then. I don't know why they stopped, but I definitely had a number of them in a row for a good month or two back then. I hope they go away for good for you too!

I have to say that I think it is sooo awesome that you have been breastfeeding those babies for this long! Amazing. From my experience, once I made it to 6 months, the next 6 months was pretty much a piece of cake. (Of course there were some challenges here and there as baby went through phases or learned new things--like rolling and crawling and biting, but they all passed quickly and seemed relatively easy to deal with compared to the early newborn days.) The baby and I have this breastfeeding thing down pat... so if it works out for you to continue, I think you'll find that it'll get easier from here on out. And if it doesn't, try to let yourself off the hook. You have done a wonderful thing for your babies with the breastfeeding. The bond you have formed, the nutrition you have provided and the memories you've made that you will never ever forget are all so important and cannot be taken away whenever you decide to stop. One tip: Before you do stop breastfeeding, take a few more pictures of you breastfeeding the boys. You will cherish them forever. :o)