As usual, I find I have so many things to say I get writer's block and don't say anything at all.
One of my best friends in the entire world is pregnant. With twins. Saw the heartbeats today. She has been pregnant before--more times than I can even remember--and it's never come this far this well. I am so excited for her I shed tears of joy upon hearing the news. Send out good vibes to the universe to make this one right and see this pregnancy through to the end. She so deserves it. I love you LadyKat.
I've been doing a lot of researching and pondering and reading and (obsessing) about education for the twins. Four new Montessori/Waldorf (yes, I know they are different for for now, they seem quite similar) books sit by my bed and Chicken and I lay in bed wordlessly combing through them.
For me, less is more and I find myself very attracted to these types of schooling. I want free form play. I don't want TV (yet) or iPads or batteries or noise. I see my boys outside in nature everyday (yes, here in NYC!) playing in the piles of leaves and splashing in the puddles and I see sunshine and joy on their faces in the simple things in life.
We can't afford Montessori or Waldorf preschool. The prices are ridiculous. If we sent our boys to private school we would be spending over a MILLION dollars before we ever even sent them off to university. That is insane.
Chicken talks of sending them to a 2x2 program and I think of doing it all myself at home until they are...four?
Chicken talks of buying 2 plastic helicopters (probably flashing with lights and sounds) because "they like helicopters" and I tell her we have a lot of fun spotting the helicopters in the sky and walking by the helipad to watch them (loudly!) take off/land. Chicken wants to buy them more! more! more! toys because "Everyone else has a ton of toys" and I look at her like she has sprouted a new head. She's not really serious. But she is...sort of. And meanwhile I'm trying to get rid of toys because I think they have too many as it is.
I don't know where this is going to end up. We are OK, don't get me wrong. But I see some hiccups on the road to parenting that I did not anticipate. We agree on just about everything when it comes to how we raise the kids, but I think as time progresses I'm really tapping into my inner (homeschooling?) hippie-like type mom and Chicken is...well, she's a Type A New Yorker.
I fantasize about saving up enough money and world schooling/traveling for a year (or more) with the boys. That would be cheaper than a year of preschool and more educational, right? I've been tapping into a whole different blogosphere--familes traveling together--and I'm hooked. But that should come as no surprise. My goal is to convince Chicken we have to do this. Her goal is to convince me we need to be saving for our 401K and retirement. My goal then becomes to convince her how cheap it is to retire in developing countries and with the worldly education our boys will have received they will be willing and ready to support their old mom's in their old age. And besides...what if I die at 50 or some other hideously young age? I can be crazy to live with. I am aware of this:)
This past weekend we went upstate to the MIL's house. It was our first visit there since the Christmas holidays last year. I think she got the message that if you aren't going to play nice, we aren't going to come visit you because she was on much better behavior and we all had a very pleasant weekend. They had the TV on and they fed the kids sugar and I tried not to freak out too much about either of these things. I'm honestly less freaky about the TV than the sugar.
She sent the boys home on the train with a bag full of some kinds of mystery O's. It's an hour and 1/2 train ride down the Hudson River and I have never seen Grunter so attached to any type of food but O how he wanted these O's. And then, I tasted one. Sugar, omg so much sugar! The kid was singing at the top of his lungs and bolting for the aisle and banging on the glass and speaking in crazy tongues. On the trip up? Not so much. Pretty calm.
They'd been eating these O's all weekend...and all weekend having a hard time going to sleep or calming down.
So, I try really hard not to give them things with sugar. Because they are crazy enough already. But I make them muffins. And while I sub out or 1/2 some of the sugar, I DO bake with sugar and they DO eat things with sugar from time to time. And I have offered them cheeseburger and fries and pizza. Yep. And they don't want any of those lovely items. But sugar O's, please please mommy please.
The shopping. Good lord I had no idea how much shopping you have to do when you have kids. It's no secret that I really don't like shopping. Chicken HATES it so she's no help in that department. I can't even tell you how many freaking hours I've spent searching and reviewing rain coats and rain boots and sneakers and fall jackets and winter coats and snow suits and hats and gloves and an ENTIRE new wardrobe x 2 of everything Size 2T because my boys jumped from a size 9-12 months on their first birthday to an (almost) 2 T and 26 lbs by the end of summer.
Shoes. Why are there so many shoes to choose from?! I adore Za.ppos but I get overwhelmed. I can't even imagine if I had 2 girls. Good grief. Whoop Whoop went from a size 5 to a size 7 in less than 3 months. Now he's almost a 7.5. I don't know how much money we've spent in the last couple of months 'outfitting' them. I knew kids were expensive but I really didn't see it like this!
I made a killing at Baby G.ap yesterday. I never shop there because the prices are ridiculous but I got all sale items PLUS 40% off and ended up with 7 items for $52. Score!
After that I hit a few things at Baby O.ld Navy with an extra 25% off and then ended up with some super buys at Marshalls. I have always been a bargain shopper but now I'm on every mailing list out there and hunt down the sales. I wish we had a good resale shop here but sadly almost everything resale in the city means some sort of used Baby P.rada like outfit that is still 10x more expensive than the G.ap sale stuff. And I just do not have the time or patience to hunt down the non-crap stuff at our (overpriced) city Goodwill.
The only way I'm going to save up enough money for long-term travel is for the boys to stop growing so I can stop shopping!!! (which would be OK because this age? I LOVE THIS AGE.)
The hole is still residing in my stomach and Grunter loves to grab at the roll while he nurses to remind me that it's there alrighty. I have done nothing, 100% nothing, towards making it go away. I keep saying I'm going to go to the gym or to yoga or to pilates and maybe someday...when my to-do list is done and when I've caught up on all your blogs and I've written all the blog posts that are rattling around in my head I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe the fact that I can fit two fingers in the middle of my stomach where my muscles used to be will just be my reminder that I housed two precious, wonderful babies in that stomach.