***Updated to add***
Thanks for chiming in. I don't know what I would've done but I really appreciated all of your experiences and thoughts! My problem has been solved!
Saturday is my transfer. It is also my birthday. And....Chicken's younger brother just happens to be having his 30th birthday party on MY birthday. Yep. You heard it right.
In fact, his bf (yes, brother is gay) sent out the 'save the date' to us before Chicken had the surprise party for me--which was the ultimate spoiler as I then knew there was no party on my actual birthday.
Whatever. It's fine because look what's happening on my birthday, right?!
Little brother is moving to Paris next week and this weekend worked best for his party.
The entire family, including some cousins are coming for the party.
There is a cocktail party at a private residence and then a private dinner at the chef's table at Resto Super-Fancy. You get the idea.
Chicken's family--with the exception of Little Brother--does not know we are doing this IVF egg donor cycle.
After all the failed attempts, including the m/c, I have had zero support from Chicken's family.
In fact, Chicken's mom has even said something once like "when are you moving on to using my daughter's eggs?" They are huggy people and I've never gotten so much as a hug.
So, back in Jan, and yet another cancelled IVF cycle, I decided I would not reveal any more information on 'our plans' because I would rather keep the fam clueless than feel disappointment that I should be getting support from them--especially if it's another fail or something goes wrong even after a positive.
At this point, I don't want to say anything to them until 12 weeks.
Are you still reading? Thank You.
If I don't go to this dinner, tongues are going to wag. As in "she's just upset b/c Little Brother is having his party on her birthday and now she's causing a scene."
I feel like I'm in the mafia sometimes, like if you're not totally in with this family then you are completely OUT.
That's a little drastic, but I'm melodramatic and they are New York Italians.
NYU does not believe in strict bed rest. They have said I can go to the dinner (I would skip the cocktail party). My acupuncturist says I can go to the dinner--just get in a cab and go. Have a good time.
I know I can go. And it will make it so much easier with the family.
But, I am having reservations.
Even if I don't go, Chicken has to go. Which leaves me alone on my birthday night. Which sucks.
There's a cousin staying with us. What the hell do we tell her??!!
Urgh. So that's where I am. Stressing out about averting family drama when I should be stress free and thinking positive thoughts for the transfer.
If I don't go, I have to tell them something. The best I can come up with is "I have to have some surgery on my lady parts and am on bed rest".
I hate dealing with this drama right now. I think going to the dinner is actually the least stressful option and I need to be stressfree. I don't know.
Thanks for listening and if you have any assvice, I'll take it.