But I was told I'd gained too much weight this past month. And I had to be really careful not to let that happen again. And no, she didn't exactly call me fat, but that's what I heard.
Because I came into this game on the side of underweight and it had been suggested that my body might not even be able to support a pregnancy because I was so thin--this was a big blow to me.
Now that I feel like 'me' again, I thought I'd been doing all the right things in this 2nd trimester--I eat well, I exercise, I try to drink a gallon of water a day. With the exception of two very abnormal McD's breakfast sandwiches, I have not had any food from a single fast food restaurant, I don't drink soda, I don't eat processed fake foods from cans or boxes or have ingredients I cannot pronounce.
I thought I was doing the right thing by packing on the weight and getting over my fear of just that--gaining weight. And now I'm feeling like shit about myself. Because I gained 10 pounds this past month. Oops.
But if I'm really honest with myself, this is no one's fault but my own, right? I have had a sweet tooth in the 2nd trimester that was not present in the 1st. And because I kept telling myself 'the babies need the extra calories' I allowed myself to indulge in those sugar-filled cravings. My energy level has gone up to 'normal' and I'm enjoying being in the kitchen again. And baking.
Lord, I have been a bakin'. I have made blueberry muffins and chocolate chip cookies and banana muffins and apple bread pudding. And while I have given most of my baked good away to friends, I have also sampled each and every one of them quite a bit. Now, I tried to make myself feel better by making the muffins with bran, whole wheat flour, yogurt and for god's sake they have FRUIT in them!! But yeah, still a fair amount of sugar and overall heavy hitters on the carb content.
And if I was really honest with myself about the exercise part, well, it's easy to gloss over that as well. I do go swimming and I do prenatal yoga and I do go walking and I do prenatal pilates...but how much and how often? I don't really know. I should have a schedule and I don't. I know I don't do these things quite as often as my head (ego?) likes to think I do. I know I exercise every week a fair share--but clearly some of my exercise time has probably been spent on the couch watching reruns of Wife S.wap while eating muffins and drinking a glass of milk.
Not the worst thing ever...BUT.
Sigh. So that's where I am. I was advised to gain 40--45 pounds at the most and I'm about halfway through this pregnancy and I've gained 1/2 that. Now, if you look at it that way I'm doing alright. BUT, if I continue to gain at a rate of 10 lbs at month, well then I'm a wee bit fucked and you'll be gawking at belly photos of me and my lardy lumps.
So, I have strict orders of gaining 4 lbs a month from here on out. And that's what I'm going to try to do.
On to my naughty placenta before you stop reading because this post is so freaking long. It seems I have 'marginal placenta previa'. This is where your placenta is marginally covering the cervix. It's not a good thing and can lead to bleeding and premature labor amongst other things.
Now, almost 50% of pregnant women have this somewhere along the 2nd trimester and the placenta moves up by itself later in the pregnancy. It's almost more common in twin/multiple pregnancies. I am trying not to worry about it too much at this point, but of course you know I came home and googled the shit out of it and freaked myself the fuck out. It seems that most women diagnosed with 'marginal' were given a set of restrictions including: no sex, no exercise, no orgasms (argh!), no lifting.
Well, hello?? It would've been nice to discuss this in further detail with me, no? I called the nurse's line and they confirmed no restrictions....but I just don't know. My gut tells me I might need to look for another OBGYN. I like where I am....but I'm not sure I'm getting the most specialized treatment for my twin pregnancy and I always feel like they are walking out of the door as they are telling me stuff. It's like the fastest one night stand ever and I didn't even have a good time.
24 comments:
Having lurked around your blog for a very long time, I've always been impressed with how healthy you
sound. I think it's awful that, however it was presented to you, this OBGYN made you feel bad about your weight. You are 1/2 way through and have gained 1/2 the weight. That's PERFECT!
Oh, Puffer. i hate to see you getting all worked out about the weight stuff, and having old issues triggered. Don't feel bad about yourself, your babies deserve a healthy mom, body AND spirit! No beating up of self allowed !! Hugs. And hoping the placenta pravia resolves itself and soon. xoxox
Grrr - Doctors who specialise in making women feel guilty frustrate me! I'm sure there could have been a much more sensitive way for her to let you know to be a little bit careful with getting the balance right in the coming months. When you've gotten used to a stable adult weight, it can be really tricky adjusting your eating and exercise so that you are gaining enough, but not too much.
At least you are baking all this good stuff yourself, so you can adjust what you put in - ripe bananas are good for sweetening if you want to add less sugar.
And I wouldn't stress about the placenta thing - we were told my placenta was a little bit close to the cervix too, but that as the uterus grows, it will generally move away. And it is something they can keep an eye on pretty easily as well.
But if this does add up to feeling like your OB isn't very well tuned in, then now's probably not a bad time to look around for someone else.
Oh, hon.
I think it might be time, yeah.
PPP is something that you should know more about, that they should talk to you and guide you on.
And the weight? Fuck them. No, really. Most of the women I know carrying twin pregnancies have gained more than that. And our bodies do what our bodies need to do, I truly honestly believe that. You have to believe me when I say that you're taking MUCH better care of yourself than I am (try: same eating habits, no exercise at all), and a week and a half ago at my 19w and change midwife appointment, I was only just finally 1.5 pounds over where I started.
No, really.
You've gotten to a really good place, and I hope you can stay there, because it's best for you and for your babies. ♥
Shit...if you consider yourself screwed on the weight issue, than I am double screwed. My doc hasn't said anyhting about my weight gain or has been concerned, so don't worry so much about it. You doc may be overreacting...you are carrying twins for christ's sake and you are a skinny girl! You have to gain weight to support those babies! Relax and don't beat yourself up...have a muffin. :)
In my first pregnancy my weight was carefully monitored and lots of emphasis was put on it. In my second one, i was never weighed and weight was never mentioned. they did, however, emphasise healthy eating and moderate exercise.
i guess what i'm trying to say is just like all the other comments - don't let it get to you. try and relax - you're doing the right things (and so much better than I ever did and most pregnant women I've known!) Your body knows what it's doing, you've just got to try and trust that.
Both pregnancies my doc wasn't really concerned about the sugar until the last trimester.... his opinion was that it needed to be cut out then because I'd just be growing bigger babies. You're taking excellent care of yourself; don't allow yourself to get all worked up about it. You are doing GREAT!!!
My opinion on the doctor issue is this: If you're not comfortable now, trust your instinct and consider a new one. The office isn't likely to change the way they do things, so if it were me, I'd be getting referrals from friends and seeing if I could change ASAP. You've both gone through so much to get pregnant with these little ones, and I think it's critical that you have a good doctor/nurse/patient relationship. Sounds like you've got one that just sees you as a number if they're not willing to answer your questions thoroughly ....ask me to tell you about my dad's oncologist sometime.
In a nutshell, bedside manner MATTERS. Whoever you have may come highly recommended and have great outcomes, but you're in NYC for crying out loud.....betcha there are plenty of them who are brilliant AND caring. Find one!
Love ya, honey.
Ok, what I would give for your weight gain with twins!! Look, you are doing great! Keep it up, don't start limiting your food intake, those babies are growing and need all the calories they can get. If it makes you feel better just cut down on the sweets. Mostly so you don't get Gestational Diabetes (with twins its more common). As for the exercise, don't overdo it. You are carrying twice the load and you have a small frame, you don't want your bp to go up. TRUST me, I've been there. I barely was able to gain 15 pounds total throughout my pregnancy and my babies were very small. I just walked mainly as my exercise and it caused my bp to go up towards the end and I was put on bedrest. Swimming is the best. If you start to notice your feet swelling, take it easy, you could be doing too much. You are half way there...and doing perfectly!
I feel really annoyed that your obgyn has made you feel bad about your weight. It sounds like you HAVE been looking after yourself. I haven't been pregnant so no advice from me based on experience. I just think however the obgyn explained it to you it has made you worry and feel guilty about your exercise and diet, and that doesn't seem right.
Bah. mean doctor! You are clearly not a woman with a weight issue. I think your OB is too used to those of us who know the Hostess selection all too well and is in the rut of giving that speech. Do what you can, eat what you like (which I know includes many healthy choices) and enjoy those babies. BTW: we are due for another belly shot now. :)
What a lousy appointment Puffer. I'm so sorry the doc made you even THINK about your weight gain. For someone who showed up at their office with not an ounce of fat, I think you are doing an AMAZING job of healthily gaining the weight you need to grow two babies.
If you are even thinking it, I definitely encourage you to explore other obs and practices in your area. No point staying where you aren't getting the kind of care--physical AND emotional that you need.
Have to agree w/ everyone. If you’re underweight before you start, it stands to reason that you’ll gain more and still be equal to where others are. I say keep cutting out most processed stuff and eat your muffins!
And I do think you should seriously consider another obgyn. We didn’t feel like we were getting the best care from out last RE, but for some reason we were hesitant to switch. We are THRILLED that we finally did, and wish we would have done so sooner. Even if the doctors don’t do anything radically different medically, just the experience of being in a better environment makes a world of difference.
Ditto and ditto....I hope after the initial shock wears off you can see that you are doing everythhing right. Eating healthy, gaining what you need to gain, and exercising.
And your baking sounds phenomenal! Hope to see you soon. Seriously.
The OB criticizing your weight gain is total BS. You are exactly where you "should" be in terms of gaining. And you know what? Even that recommended amount has a huge amount of leeway on either side where you'd still be healthy.
I gained 45 lbs with my singleton pregnancy and I was about 10 lbs above my ideal weight at the start. And my baby was fine. I was fine. And now, almost 5 months PP, I'm 6 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight and I think a fair amount of that is boobage. But I'm healthy. Yes, I should exercise more, yes I could eat better, but really, it's FINE.
If you feel at all uncomfortable with your care then now is a great time to switch. Keep the appts with your current provider while you look around, but there will be someone out there that's a great match for you and your babies.
Oh D, I'm so frustrated reading this post. Actually, I'm angry. You are doing a FANTASTIC job of growing these babies. I think that you are one of the most disciplined eaters I've ever met and trust that you are consuming what your body needs. I think what your OB is failing to consider is that your weight gain will likely taper off as you physically run out of room. In twin pregnancies, especially when Mom has a tiny frame, it's important to gain your weight early.
I say all of this knowing that we always strive to do better, eat better and excercise more. That's different from being stressed out and harrassed about some pounds. Please meditate extra to cleanse this negative Qi from your system. It's more unhealthy to be upset over your weight that to just be the weight that's right for your and your babies.
Call me and we can set up a time to meet up for some preggo pepperoni pizza!
Now as far as the partial placenta previa...it's very likely to clear up on its own. Ask your peri if you should go on complete pelvic rest. Since you're not spotting at all, you may not have to.
A million hugs plus a million more!,
Jackie
I'll follow Keely on the double ditto. From the sound of it, you're the posterlesbian for what to do when pregnant! Keep up the good work and don't let your doctor get you down.
I gained 75lbs with my first baby. Yes, baby as in one little human.
Hang in there.
So the doctor is telling you NOT to exercise, but to stop gaining so much weight? That sounds a bit crazy to me. It sounds like you're right on target if you've gained half the recommended weight and you're 1/2 way through the pregnancy. Why does it matter if you gain a little more some weeks and a little less others? I say pull up a chair, grab a muffin and watch some wife swap.
I'm de-lurking to just let you know that my mother had full placenta previa with me in 1977. I was born by emergency c-section, but we are both fine. The reason I bring this up is because there have been a trillion medical advances since then, so I am sure you will be okay.
And you are in no way fat. That I can be sure of from looking at your pictures. I am sure you will find a way to make it work!Who doesn't like muffins and wife s.wap? I do!
Take care of yourself!
As Jayde above states; I am also de-lurking to comment on your post.
I have been following along your journey and it seems you are doing a fantastic job!
I can relate with your initially fear of gaining weight and it’s so upsetting when doctors fail to uphold appropriate bedside manners. You seem to be right on target! Keep up the good work.
Hang-in, the consensus on here is you are doing an amazing job!
Ugh, sorry you left your appointment feeling bad and uninformed. That is such a miserable feeling!
Your doc sounds a little alarmist to me, which--Hello! is like the last thing a pregnant lady needs. Can you find some way to get a second opinion?
oy! is all i have to say.
and also - bring on the belly pics!!! i wanna see these babies growin'!!!
I'm late to the comment party here, but I want to echo what many have said. The doctor is crazy for criticizing your weight gain. You are making healthy choices and that's what matters. Whether it's 10 pounds in a month or 4, you're making babies, not getting fat. Your body knows what it needs to do to make these babies grow.
In many countries they don't even monitor weight gain in pregnancy like they do here. Americans are obsessed with the number on the scale to the point that many don't take the whole picture in before they make a snap declaration.
I hope you can find a new doctor if that feels like the best move. Also, your belly pics in the next post look great!
Ever since I read this post I have been drinking milk and eating muffins in honour of you. When did homemade muffins become a crime? Yikes. You look great in all your belly shots. How much we are supposed to weigh changes all the time. I don't think it really matters.
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