Thursday, July 28, 2011

No Mas

Sorry about the previous blank post. I wasn't done! I'm still not, but it's a long one coming.
In the meantime....we've made a big decision.

No more kids.
We keep getting the CA Cryobank bill and ignoring it. $440 for one more year to store the sperm. But I'm 99.9% sure I don't want more kids and I have felt this way almost since I gave birth to the twins. I certainly can't HAVE another baby. After the pre-E and the HELLP, it was strongly advised I not go at the baby birthing experience again. And while that first go at baby birthing was not a great go and it would be nice to get it right....that's not going to happen.

Chicken would have to get pregnant. Chicken has no desire to be pregnant. Chicken already has bio kids and well....Chicken would be a lousy pregnant woman and I have no desire for her to be pregnant either!

I'm 42. I'm old enough already with the 2 I have. I have tons of energy (for my age whatever that means)--more than Chicken--but I want to move forward. While I remind myself to live in the moment, I am looking forward to all of the things I want to do with them and places to go. There are many adventures waiting. I don't want to start all over and keep waiting for another baby to 'be old enough' or 'big enough'. I hope that doesn't sound selfish, but I'm loving this toddler age and the possibilities. I love my family of 4 just as it is.

We are done. Chicken got a little panicky as I ripped up the bill and squeaked, "Oh, but I want to hold a little baby again!" So I reminded her that we can go hold someone else's!

It feels good to just make that decision and agree that our family is complete.


Casey said...

We made this decision too and are so happy about it. It's so nice to just move along with what we have and be blissed out about it. After all those years of wanting, trying, dreaming about a different life, one that had a baby in it, we are finally here and it's perfect. So we're just taking it and continuing on. It's very freeing.

Plus? Your family is completely perfect. Your boys are adorable and amazing. Life is good. Enjoy!

Laurie said...

It sounds like you are really at peace with your decision. Tell Chicken she can come hold our twins when they get here! ;)

Amy said...

I've missed your blog... I wish we had such certainty on the matter. Though we've officially decided to postpone seriously talking about another baby until after the boys turn 2, I go back and forth on it in my head several times a week.... Teh boys are only 13 months, so I have a year of indecision to look forward to.

Anonymous said...

It's so freeing to come to a decision like this. It sounds like the perfect one for your family. I find the waiting for the next child and then waiting for that next one to be "old enough" is the one maddening thing about deciding to have two. That ability to live in the now, to be able to plan, it's got to feel really good!

N said...

I imagine that has to be quite a burden off your shoulders. :D

K J and the kids said...

I'm glad that you were both able to come to this decision together and are good with it.
It's got to be the best feeling to get it all worked out.

Darcie said...

Congrats on making a decision!

We have always been so certain we only wanted one we didn't even buy extra sperm!

tbean said...

It really is one of the best parts of having twins--feeling like your family is complete as is. Not something we could have felt had we had a singleton. Congrats on the big decision. It's one I imagine we'll get to ourselves, eventually.