Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Travel Abroad or Move Abroad?

These two motivate me to be a better person every single day.


"What's the plan?"

"I don't know.  I'm waiting.  It doesn't feel right.  I can't rush these things."

I stop asking and wait.  I've learned, after 12 years, that continuing to ask, push, prod and poke is not going to get me an answer I want.

That's where we were last fall.  I believe it was November, right about the time I started my blogging 'hiatus'.  It looked, at that time, that we might not travel at all.  Chicken had landed a prime project and had no plans of sacrificing career mobility in pursuit of travel.
Her words, "this is YOUR
dream, not mine", effectively crushed me.

I suppose I could've blogged about that.  But it felt so spoiled and elitist and just plain wrong.  Really, I mean, I was sad and angry and getting depressed...because I couldn't travel for a year with my family?  Really?  There are so many bigger things in the world to worry about. Talk about your first world problems.  I was more than a bit obnoxious about my disappointment.  
After a long soul search, I snapped and realized how ridiculous I was being about the entire thing.  So we don't travel right now.  That's OK.
What's the rush, right?  After all, the older the boys are, the easier it will be getting around, having them carry their own bags, etc.
But for me, having this deadline equals having a goal and that is something that has been lacking in my life since...I got pregnant.  That's almost 4 years.  My only 'goals' in the past 4 years have revolved around the kids and their needs.  Yes, yes, I know you aren't supposed to do this, lose yourself in your children and abandon YOU.  But I have, I did and now I'm finally able to come out of the fog (more and more) and do something for me because it's been all about the twins.

The terrible two's weren't terrible at all.  They were tough, but that was expected.  Personally, I had a lot of fun, yes I also drank a bit more, but overall I have a very positive memory of the past year.  Also, what I've never shared, is that I've been doing this all alone.  Since the boys were born I have either had Chicken or a nanny helping out.  But after we returned from Costa Rica last winter, I knew I needed to let our nanny go and earmark that cash for travel.
Since last April, closing up on a year, I've been completely on my own.  And I do mean all day, every day, day in and day out.  No family around, no help.  Chicken has been traveling more and more with her job (presently she's traveling for 8 solid weeks, only home on the weekends) and while this is great for her career, it's tough here at home.
The 'trip' or 'travel' was my super bright light shining down the calendar year and hearing it might not happen took my light away.

And then...interesting how the universe takes her time...things just started happening.  Circumstances in Chicken's job changed, all still good, but changes nevertheless.  
In the space of less than a month we are suddenly looking at two new job opportunities in either Hong Kong or Singapore.  Plus, Chicken finally brought up the conversation with her superiors about taking a sabbatical for a year (or less) and that went very well.
Many positive things are happening and I have to believe only more good things are in store.

Honestly, I don't know which option I'd choose. I do research on HK and decide I want to move.  Then I hear more about families raising kids in Singapore and determine that's where we need to be.
So, maybe we'll be moving to Asia this year.  Or maybe not.  I do have a voice in the matter, but ultimately, it will be Chicken's decision as it's her work.  Any of the options are fantastic as they all include two of the key things--travel and Asia!

For today, I am trying my hardest to focus on the NOW.  Stop trying so damn hard to pinpoint exactly when these things will happen in the future and simply step back and accept that the right things will happen.  The less I try to control, the happier I am going to be.  I'm choosing to live now and in the moment.  I don't want to look back and realize I missed out because I was so busy looking ahead.

During the day it's all, "he's touching me!!" but when the lights go off....


I've been asked by a few other bloggers to write more in detail about "how" I met some of these travel lifestyle goals.  If there's something you would like to know more about regarding our travel plans--don't be shy, just ask!


Strawberry said...

Unlike you, I don't want to travel for a whole year, but I do want to travel internationally and that's been on hiatus since baby plans and then baby happened. And it's been really hard just waiting...waiting to have the money, waiting to have the time, waiting for travel with him to get easier, etc. It can make a person crazy restless and I definitely have days/weeks when I feel like that. But I'm glad your plans are starting to come to fruition and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Can't wait to read about your adventures :)

K J and the kids said...

They are getting so big.
LOVE the pictures.
Wait until the he's looking at me...and he's copying me. start. :)

Next in Line said...

It is going to click and you are going to go and it is going to be awesome because you will be with two great boys and one fantastic Chicken.

jessica said...

Why in God's name are your boys playing with dolls? Are you trying to make them gay? Just asking.

Jen said...

I hope Jessica is trying to be funny and isn't serious. it sounds like things are coming together nicely. It's hard to not have everything happen right now like you want it to. I'm the same way so I understand. The boys are adorable and getting so big!