These two motivate me to be a better person every single day.
"I don't know. I'm waiting. It doesn't feel right. I can't rush these things."
I stop asking and wait. I've learned, after 12 years, that continuing to ask, push, prod and poke is not going to get me an answer I want.
That's where we were last fall. I believe it was November, right about the time I started my blogging 'hiatus'. It looked, at that time, that we might not travel at all. Chicken had landed a prime project and had no plans of sacrificing career mobility in pursuit of travel.
I suppose I could've blogged about that. But it felt so spoiled and elitist and just plain wrong. Really, I mean, I was sad and angry and getting depressed...because I couldn't travel for a year with my family? Really? There are so many bigger things in the world to worry about. Talk about your first world problems. I was more than a bit obnoxious about my disappointment.
After a long soul search, I snapped and realized how ridiculous I was being about the entire thing. So we don't travel right now. That's OK.
What's the rush, right? After all, the older the boys are, the easier it will be getting around, having them carry their own bags, etc.
But for me, having this deadline equals having a goal and that is something that has been lacking in my life since...I got pregnant. That's almost 4 years. My only 'goals' in the past 4 years have revolved around the kids and their needs. Yes, yes, I know you aren't supposed to do this, lose yourself in your children and abandon YOU. But I have, I did and now I'm finally able to come out of the fog (more and more) and do something for me because it's been all about the twins.
The terrible two's weren't terrible at all. They were tough, but that was expected. Personally, I had a lot of fun, yes I also drank a bit more, but overall I have a very positive memory of the past year. Also, what I've never shared, is that I've been doing this all alone. Since the boys were born I have either had Chicken or a nanny helping out. But after we returned from Costa Rica last winter, I knew I needed to let our nanny go and earmark that cash for travel.
Since last April, closing up on a year, I've been completely on my own. And I do mean all day, every day, day in and day out. No family around, no help. Chicken has been traveling more and more with her job (presently she's traveling for 8 solid weeks, only home on the weekends) and while this is great for her career, it's tough here at home.
The 'trip' or 'travel' was my super bright light shining down the calendar year and hearing it might not happen took my light away.
And then...interesting how the universe takes her time...things just started happening. Circumstances in Chicken's job changed, all still good, but changes nevertheless.
In the space of less than a month we are suddenly looking at two new job opportunities in either Hong Kong or Singapore. Plus, Chicken finally brought up the conversation with her superiors about taking a sabbatical for a year (or less) and that went very well.
Many positive things are happening and I have to believe only more good things are in store.
Honestly, I don't know which option I'd choose. I do research on HK and decide I want to move. Then I hear more about families raising kids in Singapore and determine that's where we need to be.
So, maybe we'll be moving to Asia this year. Or maybe not. I do have a voice in the matter, but ultimately, it will be Chicken's decision as it's her work. Any of the options are fantastic as they all include two of the key things--travel and Asia!
For today, I am trying my hardest to focus on the NOW. Stop trying so damn hard to pinpoint exactly when these things will happen in the future and simply step back and accept that the right things will happen. The less I try to control, the happier I am going to be. I'm choosing to live now and in the moment. I don't want to look back and realize I missed out because I was so busy looking ahead.
During the day it's all, "he's touching me!!" but when the lights go off....
I've been asked by a few other bloggers to write more in detail about "how" I met some of these travel lifestyle goals. If there's something you would like to know more about regarding our travel plans--don't be shy, just ask!