There's a Rave Going on in My Womb

Oh look, I put up a ticker. That must mean I'm starting to feel like this is real.

We had our big midwife/OBGYN appt today (10 weeks, 4 days) and Chicken was there for it all. The good thing about twins is that our midwife doesn't even like to bother with the doppler/heartbeat because she says it's too hard to detect with two, so guess who got her first "pants on" view of the kids?!

It was crazy how much they've grown just since Saturday morning. One--I'm not sure who because I still haven't figured out who I'm seeing on the screen and how that relates to the photos--was dancing all around like, "Holy shit! I've got arms and legs now!" This kid never stopped, it was like an audition for "So You Think You Can Dance--Fetus Edition".

The other baby was all chilled out while raver sibling punched, jabbed and flipped away.

Sorry, no photos today.

It will be interesting to see how their personalities end up out in the real world!

Heartbeats were great, everything looks great. Awesome.

We talked about weight gain because I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for gaining one pound every week since week 6 and she said she'd like to see me gain 40 lbs. max--that for my size, it was plenty. It's nice to have a goal in mind and to know what I'm aiming for. It also keeps me under 150 lbs. overall which I'm very happy about.

Mentally, for me, that is a lot of weight to gain and every time I get on the scale I have to remind myself "This is GOOD. It's all for the babies."

But I have been the same size, same weight for TWENTY YEARS, people. This is the only body I really know. I'm very happy with my body and I work really hard to take care of it.

Having my body change so quickly is a bit of a mindfuck for me right now.

Thank God my tits are blowing up and getting so many compliments because otherwise I'd be focusing on how my pooch is making me look fat. I know this may all sound vain and shallow but it's my body and these are my issues.

Only 36 more pounds to go!

Anyone ready for belly shots? Or maybe just my cleavage?

Confessions of the Freaked Out Pregnant Lady at Nine Weeks

Hi, I've been quiet and now I'm getting emails asking if I'm OK and even Chicken has noticed that I haven't blogged in a long time, so here I am.

This last week (week 9) really through me for a loop. There were things that happened here in blogland that scared the beejesus out of me and that combined with my distinct lack of morning sickness had me feeling very, very panicky.

I haven't wanted to blog about the morning sickness out of guilt. Basically, I wrote about my food aversions in week 7 and then...it was like I sent that out in the universe and things got better. So, yeah, I've had one week where I felt kinda bad and week 8 and 9 have been really good.

So good that I started believing there was no way I could still be pregnant (yes, even though I had an ultrasound in week 8 that assured me everything was fine). The assurance an ultrasound brings can last a week or 24 hours.

I do have some 'ick of the stomach', but I also think I've learned what is working with my body and have a routine:

• eat saltines before getting out of bed
• wait 20 minutes
• put on accupressure wrist bands
• go to kitchen and make smoothie
• in the morning eat something every 2 hours
• in the afternoon eat something every 2-3 hours
• green apples are the best
• movement is good
• laying around makes me feel worse
• water must be ice cold and with lemon, lime or orange slices
• in the evening eat something every 3-4 hours
• ice cream is your friend
• don't eat too much
• don't eat too little
• never take your prenatal after only eating a side salad (the only time I've puked!)
• never go to bed hungry

Being an RE patient you become used to those ultrasounds and constant check up's and by Friday I had decided I was tired of being anxious and freaking out and damn it I wanted an ultrasound.

Saturday morning Chicken and I walked up to the clinic and lo and behold as my RE said "there they are, two little human beings"

To which I replied, "And they're alive?" Because even though I'm right there looking at them this is still all so surreal and wonderful and freaky and amazing. Then we heard the heartbeats and were sent on our way with the RE telling me I was very, very lucky for not having m/s. And I am, I know I really am and I am so grateful for that.

I'm growing humans in my body. At 9 weeks, 5 days, Chicklet and Shadow Boxer are actually starting to look like tiny humans...but still a little like aliens. One baby looks like the body is in 2 parts, but it's just the angle.

Not Quite What I Was Looking For...

If you put in a google search for "twin blogs lesbian" you'll find a whole lotta porn.

Who knew?

8 wks 2 days, OBGYN Ultrasound

I still can't believe I'm now over 8 weeks pregnant--with TWINS. But, today I had my first OBGYN appt and lo and behold, there they were!

They are both measuring exact to the date and the heartbeats are right on target.

Chicklet (on the left) even gave me a little wiggly dance while we were watching! OMG, there are babies growing inside me. Plural. That is so weird. Wonderful and awesome and crazy and weird. The photos just look like little space aliens hanging out but she assured me they are babies!

Although I'd finally found a great midwife, I cancelled that appointment once we confirmed twins. I went back to my old OBGYN practice...the one I went to long, long ago...before I started dropping my pants for more money.

I love them, they come highly recommended and they have a midwife who works with them.

I'll be delivering at NYU which has one of the top NICU units in the country. There are only 8 top units and 3 of them are in NYC (Cornell and Columbia are the other two), so I know that while I'm not going to have my waterbirth/midwife/low intervention birthplan, I am in excellent hands and I've got a lot of experts that will be working with me and making sure Chicklet and Shadow Boxer get into this world safely. Hopefully we won't need the NICU, but odds are greater that we will.

The appointment was great. I never felt rushed and they are so pro-lesbian preggos it's really awesome.

The downer was that once again--Chicken couldn't be there. But, in true Chicken fashion, she's making it up to me BIG TIME.

I'm flying to Miami bright and early Friday morning to meet Chicken on South Beach and we'll have a great 3-day "Puffer is Pregnant" weekend. She had hotel points that were going to expire and a free flight courtesy of her company, so all in all it's a pretty frugal weekend. It sucks that she works out of town M-Th, but then there are the awesome perks of this job like free weekend getaways that make it not quite so sucky...

I've been feeling pretty darn good all things considered so I hope my streak of luck continues through the weekend and I really get to enjoy some Latin Flavor with my babe and babies.

Holy Shit. TWINS.

Still in shock, yes I am.

The Weekend Update at 8 Weeks

Thanks so much for all of your helpful comments on my last post. Week 7 was HARD. But, I think I might have made it sound as if I wasn't eating--but I am. I was just having a hard time eating and finding anything that sounded appealing.

Regardless, I have continued to make myself eat. I know a lot of people lost weight during the first trimester--but I really can't do that. I started this cycle at a very low weight (it's my normal weight--but it doesn't leave any room to lose pounds) and I do need to gain.

To my great surprise, I have! I didn't think I possibly could with the measly amounts I've been eating, but I've managed to gain 3 pounds since the June 6th transfer. I'm good with that.

Saturday, Chicken and I were supposed to go out to a Global Music Festival in Brooklyn, but I failed to leave the house all day because I felt exactly like I was suffering from a crappy hangover minus the good times the night before.

We'd also planned on going to this lady's Housewarming Garden Party, but failed to make it there either.

Finally out of nowhere, I declared I wanted to walk to Shake Shack and eat a burger and fries. I couldn't believe it myself as I hadn't been craving anything in over a week.

Although waiting in line for an hour for a burger on a Saturday night was not on Chicken's weekend itinerary, she indulged the crazy pregnant lady and I shocked myself by eating my meal and enjoying it. It was so awesome to enjoy a meal again!

Sunday we had a really big day planned and I was more than a little bit nervous that I would have to cancel on our friends based on how I'd been feeling. But I gave myself pep talks all morning and we got out of the house and on the train without incident. It ended up being the best day I'd had in weeks both in terms of energy (no nap!) and food (no aversions!).

We met our friends in Maplewood and spent half the day at the pool, where we ran into other friends and their triplets, and then went to a local music festival.

This NJ suburb is gay, gay, gay friendly and full of families with young children. It's kind of a perfect place to raise a family and we'd been tossing around the idea of buying a house out there ourselves. This was our first trip out there since finding out we were not only definitely pregnant, but with twins. We thought it would be a good test to figure out if this was 'the kind of place' for us. We have to move in December one way or another...

But in the end, our number one choice, Brooklyn, still came calling loud and clear. We're just not cut out for the suburbs--at least not yet!

We are both city girls and are really looking forward to "Brooklyn, Baby, 2010!"

Overall, it ended up being a great weekend with the Chicken and I hope that I continue to feel better this week.

I have done a crap job at keeping up and commenting on everyone's blogs lately, but I hope I have some more energy for that soon.

Food, and My Aversion to It.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not going to lie--life has gotten harder in week 7. There are 2 little babies growing inside me and they are really starting to kick my ass.

Food has been the biggest challenge. I still don't have that much true 'nausea' or at least I don't think I do. Maybe I'm kidding myself and waiting for something really, really bad and this is bad. But there hasn't been any vomiting or gagging and for that I am very grateful.

Instead, I just get incredibly queasy and dizzy when I haven't eaten and yet I am hungry for NOTHING.

At this point, I just try to make myself eat, but everything tastes like sawdust. Yesterday I had a rare moment where pizza sounded like a good idea, so during one of my 'feeling pretty good' moments I managed to make a really great healthy pizza: grilled chicken, spinach, mushrooms-it even looked good to me. Then I ate it and it was like I was chewing cardboard.

Today I was reading all about how early weight gain in the first trimester is critical for multiples and I just felt like crying. I was not eating the 'average' amount of calories before I got pregnant and now...I am not getting the extra calories either. It's so many calories for someone my size. I can't even imagine how I could eat that many calories feeling like I do. It's starting to stress me out and I think I might just have to go get some of those Ensure or Boost drinks just to make sure I get enough calories.

I'm sorry if this sounds so whiny. I am just feeling pretty crappy. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to finally be pregnant and I know we are so blessed, but this constant ick feeling is draining.

This is a roller coaster right now. I feel bad, I feel OK, back and forth, up and down. I never know how long the feeling will last and it's exhausting because I don't ever feel like myself anymore.

Sorry for being the bitchy pregnant lady. I'm just telling it like it is. The good and the bad.

Um, Chicklet? Meet Shadow Boxer...

I got the surprise of a lifetime today at my 7 week ultrasound!

We are having twins!

I could not only see, but also hear the heartbeats! Shadow Boxer came in with 136 beats/minute and Chicklet clocked in at 140.

It was AMAZING! I had tears going down my face partly at how beautiful it all was and also because I was in a profound state of SHOCK. (which I'm still in as I write this...)

The RE was laughing at me because I was all "OMG! You're kidding, right? Two?! Holy Shit!"

I was NOT expecting that today!!!

This is crazy exciting and I need some time to process it all...bummer that Chicken wasn't there for this and won't be home until Thursday night.

I'm in shock. Did I mention that?

Holy Shit, we're having twins.

So much for my freaking intuition!!!

BurpaLottaPuss

That's my new name. You like?

I've always been a big burper, my two older brothers taught me at a young age (much to the dismay of my mother) how to belt them out with the best of the boys and let me tell you this talent has not gone unnoticed by Chicken. She is not a fan.

But the last couple of days...I'm burping more and more.

Could this be a bit of morning sickness coming on?

Me thinks so.

I've also noticed that if I wait too long to eat, I burp more and my stomach is a little peevish. Not nauseous, not vomitous, not gag inducing, just perturbed that I waited so long.

My biggest problem is that nothing really sounds good (nope, not even KFC!). Unfortunately, this is nothing new. Pre-pregnant, one of my biggest eating ordeals was figuring out what I was hungry for at any given meal. It's always great when Chicken is around because she always knows what she's hungry for and can make the decision. Suits me well.

Mostly, I'm trying to make sure I get enough protein. This guide is coming in really handy:

http://www.naturalqi.com/protein.html

The other thing is that I generally feel great in the morning but the last two days, I notice my energy waning and my ickness factor growing after 4pm. So, I have to remember to make the most of every morning/early afternoon when I'm feeling my best. Evenings aren't shot but they certainly aren't as good.

When the morning sickness comes...and I fear it will...I'm armed and prepared for it.