Friday, May 27, 2011

Holy Nanny Application Overload!

I took the suggestion of Strawberry and registered with (thanks!).
Holy Crap. In less than 48 hours I have received over 85 applicants. My email box runneth over.
Some are very qualified. Some have actually read the ad. Some have clearly NOT read the ad.
Those amuse me so much I'd like to share them:

i am iintrested in this job. I have experience . i am a 17 year old.i'll be very glad if you chose me to take care of your dog. I speek Spanish, English, Italian, Portuguese, French.Please call me as soon as posibble at xxx-xxx-xxxx, I need i job urgently and would be very happy if you chose me.

Now, I wonder....does the dog need to hear that many languages??
Or, the one that simply says:

I'm interested.

Thanks, I'm not. I need a little bit more from you....
Or how about the young Czech girl who wants the job because she doesn't really speak English and she need to learn so she can get a real job and she loves kids and she's trying to make a baby with her boyfriend right now! Um, no thanks.

Or the nannies who are looking for full time positions. Or live-in positions. Or address me as: Sir/Madame. Or who assure me they can understand English but need a translator to be present if they are required to speak. Or they speak in such broken English in the email that I really don't want my kids learning to speak this way. Or the ones who say they can help them with their homework.

And lastly...."Hey Chicken, do you think she read the ad?" "Is she in a burka?" "Yeah." "Hmmm, no I don't think she'd be the right fit for our family."

The interview with the older nanny was a waste. She is a former baby nurse and while I'm sure she's great with infants, she had a zero sense of urgency in keeping her eye on both boys when we took them outside. I told her that I was going to stand to the side and let her do her thing because I wanted to see what she's got. She got a lot of lazy, that's what she got. Next!

So, now, I'm weeding out the oldies. I need more hustle than experience at this age. I need someone young enough to fit in with our quirky family and be ready to jump. Someone who can take direction (cuz I have my own ideas...) and GO.
Surprisingly, 3 lesbians have answered my looks very qualified.
Hmmmm.....a young, lesbian nanny. Didn't even think of that.

The search continues.

What should I give my nanny as a parting gift?? Any ideas??


Strawberry said...

I forgot to mention that the wacky responses are all part of the fun- I remember doing a post on the choice ones as well :) Yours were hilariously scary. Hope you find the right match!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

LOL at those applications.

I do the same when I hire virtual assistants. If you're not going to take the time to read my email properly and respond appropriately, we're going to be very frustrated working together so NO thanks :)

Still, from 85 apps you should get a couple of good ones.

PS see my affair post from yesterday - I'd be interested in your take on it too.

Kathryn said...

Nanny parting gift - something from the boys, handprints, art made into a vase, photo of her with boys on a canvas, etc..

Hiring a new nanny - there seem to be a lot of lesbian nannies in Manhattan! I'm digging it! I think having a trial day is excessively important, necessary, really.

anofferingoflove said...

i like the idea of a parting gift from the boys - something with their picture or handprint.

also like the idea of a lesbian nanny - seems the most likely to fit into the fold of your commune ;)

Next in Line said...

Hilarious! Good luck with the search.

Anonymous said...

I'm a young (30 is still young, right?!) lesbian nanny! I agree with pp about pictures of the boys/handprints, stuff like that. When I left a family they made me a photo book (snapfish I think) and wrote a lovely note inside - meant the world to me.

Good luck with your search and thanks for sharing those funnies :)

Anonymous said...

A homemade gift from the boys is always a great keepsake.
Check out this website for great hand print / foot print ideas.

Dani said...

A young lesbian nanny...sounds familiar! I'm a young lesbian nanny of 8 month old twin boys with years of experience! The right nanny for you exists. Trust me. It's hard finding a nanny. But when you get that right fit, you'll know. You should interview that lesbian nanny. I may be a bit biased, but I also know that it's a little more difficult for us out nannies to find work in childcare positions! Give her a shot.

As for a gift, definitely something handmade that involves the boys. I know how hard it is to leave a family that you love very much. Having something the kids had a hand in making is incredibly heartwarming.

Jen said...

Maybe a gift from the boys like the suggestions above and a spa day or something relaxing?

Just curious and maybe this is the Midwestern girl in me---do they actually put that they are a lesbian on the application? My little mind is blown at the disclosure.

Aiden & Liz said...

I've been a very out queer nanny for almost six years to four kids and a new puppy. There actually are a lot of us out there. My family and I are exact opposites but we really have become a family unit. I haven't left yet, and if they have their way won't until the youngest can drive. I don't have a parting gift but have saved everything they made for me. I also think a nice album of pictures of the boys and any special notes about her would be nice.
Oh and to Jen above: I live in the midwest and at first did not give full disclosure. However, after a few interviews that left parents wondering why a young boy look a like showed up on their doorstep, I decided to be a little more upfront. I can say it is definitely better for all parties to start with an open book.

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