Sunday, June 5, 2011

Manny? Migraine.

I had an all day migraine yesterday and stayed in bed with the shades drawn trying not to barf. It was hell. I haven't had one in over 2 years. Really hope they don't start coming around again.

Chicken took over the kid care all day long. It was the first time she's had them alone all day since they were born! She was exhausted, but she did great.

I did nothing but lay in bed and lifted my tank from time to time. The bed in the living room is awesome! They just walk over to the mattress for BFing and yank at my shirt. EASY.

Ok, so we received an app from a young manny. And although he didn't come right out and say it, I'm pretty sure he's gay.

Would you hire a manny?
Why or why not?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


N said...

Yuck. I hope the migraines stay away!

It really depends on the person. I know lots of guys who I'd trust with my life and my kids' lives, and women I wouldn't. But it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that women will be better/less likely to do "bad" things than men.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I am biased against men as childminders :) simply because I don't think they can multitask enough LOL

BUT if you think he ticks all the blocks, why not? ALthough what about the b**bs in the living room thing? would it make you uncomfortable?

Hope you don't get those migraines again1!!

K J and the kids said...

a friend of mine went through the process to become a foster-adopt parent. In the many many classes she took, one of them mentioned having boys babysit. It recommended against it. Of any age. They said that the nicest men/boys can have a surge of hormones that they aren't able to control 100% of the time.
And I'm pretty sure we need that 100%.
Any ways....that said....I've left my kids with our favorite neighbor boy a few times.

Good luck.

Rachel said...

I am astounded that this question is still up for debate. In my world it's a bit like asking if you would have a non-white nanny. How am I supposed to show my son that parenting is not only a woman's task if we do not also have male babysitters? I am trying to raise a gentle, compassionate son so I think it's important for him to have male role models who also parent. I am endlessly pleased that both our daytime daycare (since it is a home daycare) and our evening babysitting (i.e. the neighbors) have times when the man is solely in charge of the children (and yes, alone with them). Sure, I may have asked a few more questions of the men about how comfortable they were with slings and warming breastmilk (yes to both) but I honestly felt no more fear than leaving my children with a woman.

I just don't know what to say about the "surge of hormones" theory above except that it horrifies me. I find it perfectly natural that my husband helps to change diapers and now to bathroom runs from the playround when we are out with friends, and if any of my friends questioned him taking their son or daughter to the restroom I think that would probably be the end of our relationship.

nutella said...

KJ- I'm horrified that your class would teach you such a thing! What do they have to say about men as parents?

For me, it would all depend on the person. If I felt comfortable with a man as my child care helper, and thought that he was qualified and a good fit, then why not? I would hate to perpetuate such sexist and unfair stereotype.

Jess said...

If the manny ticks all the boxes, then I'd jump at it. Although I don't believe the BS that boys NEED men (pick a man, any man...) around, I do think a breadth and diversity of all kinds of quality role models and influences is important and I can't think of a better role model than a man who is comfortable enough in his own skin to shirk gender expectations and assume a predominantly female role. There are a couple of male carers at my DS's childcare centre and they're wonderful.

Anonymous said...

So sorry about the migraines. My MIL has them daily right now and is totally debilitated by them (clearly, with that many). Awful. As for the manny question - I totally agree with the go-for-it comments. if it's the right fit, why not?

Bridgwest said...

Love your use of the term 'manny', very cute. As for employing a man... surely you're looking for the best, most suitable carer for your precious boys... the gender of the 'best, most suitable carer' is about as important as their colour or ethnicity.

Obviously the safety of your children is paramount, but gender and sexuality are surely poor indicators of likelihood to be an abuser (emotional, physical or sexual). Check you potential manny and see if he fits with your family. I reckon you should make your decision based his suitability (or otherwise), not inaccurate stereotyping.

ps. I know men I'd trust with my children, and women I wouldn't leave my dogs with... but I don't judge everyone on those two examples.

K J and the kids said...

I think....and I don't know, as I didn't take the class....they are just reading from statistics. And unfortunately those statistics don't speak well for the male species.
I have 4 boys and agree. I will raise them to be loving and caring men who will share the responsibility in raising their children.

We have nephews that IF they lived here....I would hire them in a second to watch my kids.
But....hiring someone that I didn't know....I might have second thoughts. If I'm being honest.

Nicole said...

The fact that you even put this question out there suggests that you're not entirely comfortable hiring a manny, and that's OK! Personally, I wouldn't hire a manny, I've heard too many horror stories and I just wouldn't take that kind of a chance with my kids for the sake of being politically correct. Men are far more likely to be sexual predators than women and as sad as that is, it is the truth.

CJ said...

Being a nanny for an insane number of years AND a mom (14 years, 7 years and 6 months) I would definitely hire a manny. I actually PREFERRED male caregivers for my son. They were more into sports, being outside, etc. than the girl counterparts seemed to be. HOWEVER, it depends on the person. If he's a good fit, hire him, regardless of his gender! Good luck!

Carey said...

If I am being totally honest, I probably would not hire a manny for my young children. Something about it just doesn't sit well with me. An older child? Much more likely... is it right or pc? Probably not, but in the end it's me who has to be completely comfortable with who is in my home. I'm just more trusting of female caregivers I suppose based on my own experiences and what I see in my profession.

Next in Line said...

I vote for a Manny over Migraines anyday...oh darn you don't get to pick. Oh well. Trust your gut. This Manny may be just the right person or not. You will know.

Ruby at Breathedragon said...

A L Word. I am always thinking about the male figures in my son's life and wanting him to feel like he's got caring men in his circle of important people. For that reason, it seems like a good idea if he's the right guy. I hope you're feeling better!

tracerhawk said...

Just stumbled upon your blog and had to comment. We hired a male babysitter who came recommended from a previous female babysitter. He was college aged and turned out to be one of the best babysitters we've had. He watched our kids for three years on and off and we recommended him to other parents as well. The kids loved him and I never got a creepy vibe from him what-so-ever. You've gotta go with your gut. I've met many males who I would not let watch my kids and other neighbor kids who I would. Interview him, talk to his references and see if he is a fit with your family. We trusted our "manny" to watch our kids for three days (over night) while we were out of the country. And yes, he was gay. We didn't know it when we hired him but we had a feeling.

Anonymous said...

K J ... are you actually joking? A mans hormones would worry you more than a womans hormones would!? I don't know where to begin with this.

Anyways ... my dad bought me up on his own, and did an amazing job because he is a kind, caring and incredibly nurturing person ... any fella who displays those qualities would make a perfect manny - and an added bonus is that you get to have a fella round the house to play with your boys!

Anonymous said...

i would not. no, never, not! ds1 had 2 male african american sub teachers at daycare. the first one yelled at him and the other kids and THREE of the boys (ds1 included) started peeing in their cots at nap time). all were potty trained for over a year. as soon as the teacher left, no more peeing accidents at naptime. the second one got mad at ds1 in the playground and snatched him off a trike, lifted him up in the air over his head, dumped him on the ground, dragged him across the playground and threw him into a chair. he was dismissed and we have an investigation going on into the daycare by our state body. since then ds1 is having some emotional/social issues in his preschool class and although it's been determined that this is due to him being gifted i'm sure the situation hasn't been helped by those teachers. so for my money NO to male caregivers. men just don't have the patience to deal with small kids on their own.