Friday, January 16, 2009

Counting My Blessings

There have been quite a few highs and lows this week, the notable high being donated drugs.  The notable low having 10K less for fertility coverage.

Regardless, it is what it is.  Here the deal:  It wasn't United Healthcare that did this to us—it was W.  Or rather, that's who I'm blaming!  You see, with the economy crashing, K's employer (we are covered on the same policy) cut all benefits to all policies for fertility.  Etna, BCBS, United—they were all cut, rather quietly, from 25K to 15K for 2009.

Now, I could get all angry and stressed out and bitter, but I just can't.  What will it accomplish?  Absolutely nothing.  That doesn't mean that I haven't gone over the events of the last year in my head and wished we'd done things differently, ie: GET AGGRESSIVE from the beginning.  That's my biggest regret and always has been. Now that the benefits have been cut I'm really regretting it.  But….what's done is done.  I can't change it.  I am not Cher and I cannot turn back time.

So, I want to only focus on the positive because I need to remind myself just how lucky and blessed I am.

I have never had a single issue with my insurance coverage.  There have been no fights, no benefits denied, no hassle.  That could be explained by what I initially said to them.  Let's just say it's all about how you word it. I am a part of United Resource Network rather than UHC for fertility.  Same Same but Different.  With a few exceptions of trying to figure out which meds are covered and where do I get them, it has been a completely stress free experience.  I had saved up money for years for this process never expecting to have fertility benefits, so I truly feel blessed in this regard.

I have been blessed with an outpouring of kindness and generosity through my blog friends.  People I've met IRL and have become friends have given me meds and people who have only lurked online spoke out to offer me meds.  I can't say thank you enough.

 We are still waiting to hear back from UHC about egg donor coverage.  This is not covered by United Resource Network, but 'supposedly' is covered by UHC.  Now, we just need to know if that means the recipient is covered (that would be me) or if includes paying for the egg donor (that would be Kate).  My RE clinic has never had a case like this where both the donor and the recipient are married and on the same policy.  We are a test case. Should be interesting…that is what we would ultimately choose to do if the will cover it.

If not, K and I each have a 15K lifetime fertility benefit.  That means if it doesn't work for me…she's up to bat. While she offered to carry, the reality that she might have to actually do this is scaring the complete shit out of her.  I have never seen her so truly terrified of something.  It's kind of cute in a sadistic sort of way.  She says things like "why would anyone ever want to be pregnant?" and "I'm not ready to be pregnant!" (to which I smile sweetly and reply, "oh you don't have to be ready right now, just at the end of February in case I'm not pregnant.")

The RE has agreed since we came in as a couple, K does not have to go in as a new patient.  If you've ever tried to get an appointment at a prominent RE, you know this initial appointment alone could set you back months just trying to get in the door.  So, that was excellent news.  She's in and they are ready for her to get straight to IVF. 

I finally, finally got great news regarding the Antagon and Menopur!  It's covered and I still have enough benefits left in my fertility RX coverage (different than the 15K) left that I won't have to pay out of pocket for them.  This is huge since it would've been $2700 out of pocket.  Oooouch. 

Dinner last night was great, but we never made it to the show.  We got lost.  Or rather, we were never lost, but we kind of forgot where the venue was and after walking for 30 minutes in 15 degrees, we decided to walk home instead. It has been so great to have K home for the last month.  She has been cooking wonderful, nutritious meals and we have been having a lot of fun.  I am so much more calm and less stressed out when she's here.  I know she could be called on a travel project any day now, but I really hope not for at least 3 more weeks.

Tonight I have a friend in from out of town, Saturday my aunt is in the city to celebrate her 50th birthday and Sunday another friend is in town.  Having fun and staying busy is good.

Life is Good.


Jen said...

Sounds like you do have wonderful coverage and many blessings! My fertility coverage is only 2 cycles, which is why I was fighting them on paying for IUIs out of pocket so that if we do IVF, it will be covered. Verdict is still out on that one! Have a good weekend, sounds like you plan to!

tbean said...

Your positive attitude is inspiring! I am hopeful that plans B, C, and D won't be necessary and you'll be pregnant by spring.

anofferingoflove said...

i blame W too.

that's a really interesting issue about coverage for egg donation where the donor/recipient are on the same policy. you'll have to keep us posted on how that gets resolved.

good news about the drug coverage & the RE letting K in w/o the new patient wait!

i agree with tbean that your attitude is inspiring. it's so easy to feel beaten down by this process. i have a hard time remembering to count my own blessings . . .

2girlsandtheirfamily said...

We're so glad things seem to be working out with your insurance! We've been down that road one too many times. It is an added stress we don't need! We are routing for you that this is your month for many reasons but of course, now to include the fact that K won't have to carry (only b/c she doesn't want to - we think she'd made a GREAT pregnant woman)! We love your answer about her not having to be ready until end of Feb! LOL! We're sure she appreciates that answer.

(And after reading your previous blog, our question is answered as to where to put the patch ;)

Eva said...

Good for you, girl! I'm glad you are you looking at the positive. I need to model that...

Fallopian 'Tudes said...

Hooray for staying busy! That's my M.O. right now... Life IS good.

eeney meeney miney mommy said...

You are very lucky and have so many things to be thankful for. You deserve it. This is going to work out and I can't wait to hear you have had success.

Stay busy and enjoy yourself!