Thursday, November 18, 2010

How Quickly I Forgot

Whoop Whoop is crazy from the standing and I am crazy from the crying. Grunter went through the same thing a month or so ago, but I don't remember it being quite this bad.
The morning nap isn't SO bad, but the afternoon nap is wretched. He stands up in the crib and then he just can't get back down. I keep practicing with him, but he hasn't gotten it yet.
I want to go back in and help him, but the day I did that too soon, Grunter wasn't asleep yet. Well, once Grunter saw me they both started wailing and I'm now trying to comfort both of them. It was complete chaos and tears. That day neither of them napped. I've never had a day like that.

Today, I waited until I couldn't hear Grunter anymore and went in to help W2 down. By the time I got to the door, he was standing back up again. Back I go, show him how to get back down, rub his back, try to calm him down and....same thing.
This is normally the time I use to pump and eat lunch. That didn't happen today. I stood at the door, peeking through the crack and every time W2 would get up, I'd go back in and repeat.
After 15 times and over 45 minutes with his cries now a "10", I knew he wasn't going to "get it". Not today. Not this nap. I nursed him to sleep and put him back to bed sleeping.
He had to get some sleep and this was the only way, but I need him to figure out how to get down, not how to get me to nurse him to sleep!

Luckily, Grunter, who is inches away from his brother's head, slept through the entire thing. Which is why I tell mother's of twins....keep your kids sleeping in the same room--they WILL learn to sleep through each other crying! It's amazing!

I just don't know what to do or how long this is going to take. Any advice from those who are dealing/have dealt with this??
I don't remember it being this bad or taking this long with Grunter, but maybe it did and I'm blocking it out because it was that bad. All I know is that Chicken, who was on a conference call (in the hallway as there was nowhere to go in the apartment!), heard how bad it was and offered to take them out for an hour after they woke up. She is such an amazing mamma and partner to me.

I just sat on the bed and cried after she left. These are the days that I feel like such a failure as a mother. I get very overwhelmed on afternoons such as these and just wonder what the hell I'm doing. Being a stay at home mom is the best thing on earth, but my god, I had NO idea how hard raising twins was going to be--especially going through the sucky stuff like this, TWICE.
I'm so thankful for all the good days we've been having and just keep taking deep breaths and reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day.


Laurie said...

Ryan went through these learning curves with crawling and standing. The poor babe used to crawl in his sleep... he would crawl himself across the crib until he bonked his head and would wake up screaming.

I don't remember any one thing helping him "get it"... maybe letting him cry for a while to see if he eventually sits down? I wish I could be more help! All I can offer is my experience and assurance that you are a great Mom! :)

Melissa said...

It might sound bad but I let Jackson cry for a bit and he eventually ploped down on his own.

K J and the kids said...

What a great wife. Having a baby, let alone two takes almost all of the control out of our lives. Sometimes all the rules are flushed down the toilet and it's up to us to come up with new ones. It can be frustrating and oh so tiring. Just have faith in yourself. You are doing a fantastic job and you are a great mom showing a lot of patience in an otherwise impossible moment.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

I don't know if you have a pack-n-play ? The sides are soft and net so I don't know if he'd be able to crawl up on it. I know space is was just a thought to keep him down.

Next in Line said...

Nursing him to sleep was a great idea. He will get it, but in the meantime you can eat and take a few minutes. Nap failure was the hardest part of being at home with Bee.

Anonymous said...

I know you like HN, but times like this are when an older nanny with more experience possibly as a night nurse would help. Some are dedicated enough to offer guidance by phone after hours and fill the role that use to belong to grandmothers,great grandmothers.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

He will figure it out...just take it one day at a time. It's no reflection on you at all :)

Strawberry said...

Ugh, I'm sorry. I can't imagine having to go through the really hard parts twice either. But, you know he will get it at some point (hopefully sooner than later!). I remember when Miles began pulling up like that and his naps took quite a hit. He would let go though, and either be ok or hurt himself and need comforting. I think at least a couple times, I undid his fingers from the crib rail and made him fall down on the mattress on his butt so that he could see if was ok to do that. We may have even made a game of it during non-nap time so he could get used to doing it. Maybe try that? You're not a failure in any way as a mother...these things they do are just crazy-inducing ;-)

Jen said...

You beat yourself up too much!!! There is no magical guide to dealing with all of this and I can't imagine doing it two fold. Last month when chunk learned to stand I don't remember teaching him to sit, he kind of just plopped down. If you leave him, he might just learn to let go. All kids are different though.

AdventuresInBabyMaking said...

How long did it take Grunter to go through that stage? Was it at least quick? If so, maybe it will come and go quickly for W2 as well. I hope it passes soon!