Sunday, October 19, 2008

Dreamy

The progesterone has me dreaming VIVIDLY.  The first couple of nights the dreams were not pleasant at all and K got kicked for them.  Last night they were just plentiful and far out...I'd like to write them all down, but I only remember the bad ones, not the plain crazy ones.

It's been a great week.  Because my egg retrieval was planned for the latter part of the week, K had scheduled a flight back on Tuesday night to make sure not to miss it.  After the IVF cycle was cancelled she came home anyway which has been great.  She's a total workaholic so we haven't gotten to spend much time together during the week, but she's managed to make it out to dinner with me and friends every night she's been home.  It's been really nice and I would love it if her next project was local.  But it looks like it might be in Jamaica....which would be OK too, if I can visit for free!

Back in August during the brief days I allowed myself to believe I was pregnant, I went shopping.  One of those items, my prenatal Vinyasa Yoga DVD, came after the m/c.  But, I was too curious not to try it.  I must say--I wish I'd had this all along the TTC journey.  It is an awesome workout and one I could've been doing every TWW b/c if it's safe enough for pregnant women, then it's safe for the TWW, right?
I love it and have really enjoyed doing yoga this week.  If anyone is looking for a prenatal yoga DVD, I highly recommend buying this.

I didn't eat the pineapple.  I've read it helps implantation, I've read it hurts implantation.  I don't know what to believe.  
What I have done is walk, yoga, pray, eat healthy-mostly organic-warm foods, acupuncture, meditation and imagery exercises.

I've been reading a lot this week about causes of infertility and/or reproductive difficulties.
It's no big surprise that chemicals in our lives are the culprits behind most everything.
I was pretty horrified when I researched all of my body products and saw how toxic they are.
This is a next step for me:  throw away all mainstream brands and incorporate the 'safe' ones.  I have many of these already--but I have many more that aren't.
Check out these websites here and here if you want to know more, it's an eye-opener.

Coffee was also high on the list of no, no's not just during the TWW, but always as the caffeine (and other toxins) can affect your ovaries for up to 3 months.  Same with alcohol.
While I generally believe in 'everything in moderation', at this point--I'm getting extreme.
I cut out all decaf coffee when I learned it can have up to 18% caffeine in it.
Alcohol is no hard for me to cut out entirely, as I usually only have 1-2 drinks/month anyway.
Soda has been out for over a year--but was reinforced when I read that when diet soda containing aspartame gets too warm (ie:  on the delivery truck before it reaches the store and cooler), the aspartame turns into formaldehyde! Talk about toxic.
Mostly, I am trying my hardest to be mindful of all toxic things in my life, both chemical and my own thoughts.

I look at my donor's baby photo almost daily-OMG, he was the cutest baby ever-and imagine a baby of my own.
I believe I am going to get pregnant again and it's going to stick.  It could be this month, why not?  I refuse to believe anything less.  All negative thoughts are banned.
Only thinking positive.  Only believing it's going to happen.

It's been a great week.  I feel wonderful and powerful and positive.
And I just made fertility soup.  Yum.

6 comments:

Heidi said...

I am always amazed by the dreams. How vivid they seem, even in the first few moments of waking...then poof, you are only left with an odd feeling of a weird dream, but no story to tell.

Please share how you keep your thoughts positive...I can't get my negative ones out of my head!!

I have faith for you this cycle!!

Carrie said...

man i totally know what you mean about toxins. i feel so bad. we don't try again for 2 months, but im already back to drinking EVERY day, and that goes for coffee and alcohol. It's so bad, I know. I get migraines if I don't have coffee every day, and I get bitchy if I don't have booze every day. haha. I think one month before we start trying, I will cut my booze down from 5-6 days a week to maybe 1-2 days. haha, it's prob the best I can do until I officially can't drink booze anymore. :)
I am proud of you for cutting all of that out!

Lizzie said...

I so admire your positive thinking, positive steps. Seems I've gone backwards. Back to caffeine, back to alcohol, in frustration. Thinking to myself, cutting it out didn't work, so why not have a little here and there. But I know you're right. If this attempt doesn't work (will find out in just a few days), I'm going to take some time to get healthy again .....

giggleblue said...

it seems like this tww has been going well for you and i'm happy to hear that! it's amazing how many things we eat or are around are toxic!! i feel like getting back to nature and the natural is best for all of us.

i have my fingers crossed for you!

K said...

I love this post! It sounds like all of your positivity and healthy changes are lining you up for all around greatness and a BFP to boot, hopefully this month. But if not this month, then very, very soon. I can't wait!

insertmetaphor said...

I'm loving your positive attitude - it's good for me to read. We cut out a ton of toxics in our environment back in the summer of 07 - shampoos, detergents, non-filtered water, coffee etc. - but we've been slipping back into some of them (though doing pretty well in general, I have to say). It _is_ hard to keep up when you don't get your desired result, but it's good to have a reminder that it's all still important for our overall well-being, not just for TTC.

The formaldehyde in diet soda is pretty horrifying. I'm not a big soda drinker, but I definitely have some occasionally. I might rethink that...