I just talked to my RE, Dr. VID (not the Dr. who scanned me this morning).
This was not the good conversation I wanted, but it was the one I feared after finding out I only had 4 follicles this morning. They are NOT all the same size. They range from 6-12, so that is super sucky indeed as they should all be trucking along at the same rate.
Turns out I'm a pretty poor responder to Follistim--even though I'm injecting the MAXIMUM amount.
I had an excellent response to Clomid and produced the same amount of follicles.
(is this the part where I'm supposed to remember that while I was in Bali I thought I should do another round of Clomid?)
I'm so tense right now and I sort of want to cry, but mostly I just feel deflated.
This may not be an IVF cycle. If he doesn't see much improvement in the next couple of days--we'll call it an IUI cycle.
I guess that's good news--it's not all lost.
We've only got one vial of sperm on ice at the RE's--I knew I should've ordered two. Now, I think I probably should another one just to be covered in case it's converted to an IUI cycle and we want to do 2 inseminations.
I haven't done shit at work today b/c I've been all over the internet looking at where other 39-year-old's are at this stage of the game--none of it has made me feel any better b/c everyone else seems to respond just wonderfully to Follistim. A wonder drug it is! Hahaha!
Dr. VID said I could try another IVF cycle if this one doesn't work, but agreed we'd be better off using K's eggs. Hers give me a 66% chance of success.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Seriously? Seriously?! This is what we were considering last January when this all began and now it's been 10 months and we're back to where we started.
Fuck Fuck Fuck.
OK, I'm done cursing now. Until the next post. Fuck.