Update

For Alicia--Try it again.

For Everyone Else--Thank you for your support.

I said a little prayer this morning when the crying started at 3:30am, then 4:30am and then they were up for the day at 5:30am.

Deep breath. Today is going to be a better day.

I have the names and numbers of two shrinks. The funny (not funny ha ha) thing is that when I thought about getting some help earlier this summer, I contacted a friend who sent me references. These were therapists who all specialized in PPD. I called 3 or 4 of them who were within reasonable commuting distance for me.

Not ONE of them ever called me back and I called some of them multiple times.

Right about this time, HN started and I was able to get some more sleep. The more sleep I had, the better I felt and soon I didn't feel like I was slipping down the slope at all.

The past 2 months we've been in a sleep regression. As in waking up at 4:30-5am. I nap when I can, but the accumulation is wearing on me.

I think this past week, with Grunter waking up super early (it's always Grunter) and Whoop Whoop crying all through his naps and not sleeping most of the time....something in me snapped. Because when I can't get enough sleep, simple things in life become oh-so-challenging. I never knew I would be so delicate from the effects of sleep deprivation, but I am.

It's Day 6 of the standing up in the crib. Whoop Whoop still hasn't figured out how to get down.

This is what I posted on the Twins Forum:

We have standing play toys he has been using for a couple of weeks, but he can't sit down at those either. Everyday we 'practice' with him, but he's just too scared to let go (both at the toys and at his crib).

The other afternoon I went in 15 times in their hour nap. He never stayed down, popped right by up by the time I got to the door and was crying again. Another time, I tried to let him CIO, thinking he's going to have to 'get it'. He cried for the hour standing up. Another time he almost fell asleep standing up at the rail but was still softly crying. I've stayed at the crib trying to rub his back and get him sleepy. Sometimes this works, other days it doesn't work. One afternoon I nursed him back to sleep.
Another morning, I tried to nurse him back to sleep--but it didn't work. Another morning I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep completely.

Sometimes he and his brother just stand in their cribs facing each other (the cribs are in an L shape) and yell/play/cry together and no one naps. Sometimes his brother lays down and sleeps through the entire thing.

So far, no answers. Just someone who offered me a pack n play to separate them. That doesn't help! We have no where to put it! (It was a nice offer, though)

Today, we have let W2 CIO for 30 minutes and then Chicken has gone in to rub his back until he goes to sleep. With me, he just lunges for my boobs. He does not sit / lay back down on his own. Ever.

To top it off, he woke up this morning coughing and sneezing with a runny nose.

Tonight, my wonderful wife is cooking me a filet mignon with a red wine mushroom sauce, mashed potatoes with leeks and sauteed spinach with garlic. She is the best. I am going to have a nice glass of wine on the side, skip my last pump and go to bed early (and hope my boobs make it through the night without clogging).

Tomorrow I will wake up (but hopefully not at 4:30am), breathe deep and say a little prayer before facing another day.

It's going to get better. It always does.

Thank you for blog-cheering me on.